Woman tells 10 year old niece that her mom was the 'leader of the mean girls,' sister denies everything.

Woman asks if she was wrong to tell her niece that her mom was a bully?

Specific_Rain9736 writes:

I (36M) was on the phone with my niece (10F) when she randomly asked if my sister (34F) was a bully in school. I was surprised and asked her to repeat the question. For context, my sister was a horrible bully in school. She was the leader of a group of "mean girls" who harassed and bullied girls who were not part of the clique. We are talking fights, threats, hazing, shunning, shaming, etc.

So when my niece asked again, I said yes, she was. I also told my niece that sometimes people do things and that they can change, but my niece was already full tilt shouting that my sister was a bully as a kid, which wasn't "nice."

My sister went ballistic! She took the phone from her daughter, made her leave the room, and then laid into me for being "negative." I only replied that it was true and recalled how she once set a girl up to get in trouble for something she did and only came clean when all the evidence pointed at her.

I pointed out how she even tried to have me jumped because one of the girls being harassed by her group begged me to help her by telling my parents about what my sister was doing to people. Her reign of terror only stopped when our parents found out and put her in a boarding school out of state.

To this day, my sister still has not accepted she did anything wrong by bullying all those people. I know she has followed some of her past victims on Facebook and has a bit of animosity when talking about them during gossip.

Well, my sister ignored all this and threatened to block my number and delete me from all my niece's accounts if I continued to be "negative." AITA?

Here are the top comments from the post:

ColdstreamCapple says:

NTA (Not the A^%#ole). It seems your sister still is the bully and has turned what should have been a learning moment for her daughter into teaching her daughter that you can just deny everything. A more mature way for her to acknowledge it is like you said “Mommy made a mistake but is sorry for how she behaved and learnt from it.”

BeachinLife1 says:

It sounds like your sister is still a bully. If my niece had asked me that, I would have asked her why she wanted to know. Is your niece being bullied by her own mom? I would be finding out. NTA.

2tired4thiscrp says:

There had to be a reason your niece asked the question. Your sister seems to have a problem with the truth. She doesn’t want her daughter to know about her behavior which means she hasn’t changed or grown up over the years. In fact, it sounds like she’s found a new victim.

Kangaroo-Pack-3727 says:

OP they always say that adults should never lie to kids. Because you were asked a question by your niece, you only told her the truth so NTA. Plus, you did not want to lie to her as kids nowadays will one way or another seek the truth somehow from some source.

Do not feel bad about having your sister getting mad at you since you owed your niece the truth. I guess your niece will be thankful knowing the truth but OP be prepared for whatever fallout that will happen next.

piecesfsu says:

NTA. If you sister took the phone and kicked her daughter out. There is a 100% chance her being a bully came up and your sister had your niece call to dispell that notion. BUT since she is a bully she had to stay close to control the narrative.

No better way to show you aren't a bully then by verbally abusing someone else for their opinion. if your life has lead you to a path where your own daughter is asking her uncle if their mother is a bully then you have very clearly failed and have shown that is WHO you are for a long time.

The other best way to show you aren't a bully is to control whether or not your daughter can speak to her uncle by forcing her to block him on the phone and through social media. OP, your niece sees her mother. This all simply compiled all the evidence in one neat event for her to process. Just make sure your niece knows you are there if she ever needs anything.

What do you think? Was OP right to tell her niece that her mom was a bully?