Woman tells pregnant sister she won't help, 'I don't know why she keeps having kids.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my sister I won't be helping her after she announced she was pregnant again?"
I (19f) live with my mom and dad, I will be moving out soon but the job I work at isn't paying really good. My sister (32f) is expecting her 7th child, she has 4 boys and 2 girls.
2 weeks ago at our family dinner she announced she was pregnant again, everyone else was happy but I was because I knew she would want me to help her with my nieces and nephews because I took care of them when she went through postpartum even had to miss my exam to watch them.
I'll give a back story, it was a family tradition in my family for all of family members to come over to my mom and dad place to enjoy each other company. My family and I wouldn't see my sister much but this time she came we all were surprised.
I was quite happy to see my niece and nephews because they are fun to hang around with, oh I did forget to mention she is married to her husband (34m). Didn't really like him because he was too childish and didn't do anything.
I would tell my sister he was wasn't good for her but she told me to mind my business so I left it alone. all my family members were packed in the house talking to each other and the ones the didn't see for years.
It was time for dinner, my family would set up white tables with strays of food, everyone got their food and went in the living room because that's where we would always sit.
My sister told everyone she had big news to tell, everyone wanted to know. My sister sat next to our mother and held her hand, my sister proudly said she was pregnant loud enough for everyone. Everyone congrats her.
Me, on the other hand, was pissed because my sister is the type of woman to have kids back to back and not giving her body a rest. When she would get pregnant she would always call me for help because her childish husband doesn't do anything but sit around.
I don't know why she keeps having babies, I told her one time that she is still young and has enough time to have kids but she said she likes having kids for her husband.
I wasn't going to be the pissy sister so I hugged her and told her how happy I was for her. She held my hand and told me now I can be close with this baby and should move in with her so I can be closer with the kids.
I know this doesn't sound believable and trust me when she said it I couldn't believe it, I felt like a babysitter so I told her " I'm not moving in to be a free babysitter, stop having kids then asking me to watch them" I put it in quotes so you guys would know what I was saying.
My mother heard what I said and said I shouldn't be so rude. I don't know if I am the AH in this situation so please give feedback. AITA?
Here's what the top commenters had to say:
YouSayWotNow said:
NTA. You are an adult and should be focused on building your own life, not being used as a live-in maid and nanny for your older sibling who doesn't know what contraception is. Either they can afford to pay for childcare if they need extra help, or they should stop having children.
Expecting you to step in is not acceptable. Do not doubt yourself in this. If other family members think you are being unreasonable let them move in with her and be her live-in help.
jfcmfer said:
NTA. Don't back down. Go live your life. Even if you continue living with your parents and nothing changes for you, it isn't your responsibility to be her free child care. If you want to play video games instead of babysitting, feel totally free to do so.
Street_Math3177 said:
Move out and do not tell anyone your address. Even your parents, they’ll be the first to give up your address, next thing you know, you’ll have 7 kids at your door step.
Gupy1985 said:
NTA. At some point he's going to have to start helping or hire a nanny.
mehlol42 said:
NTA. They aren't your kids. You are not obligated to watch them. She literally just asked you to be a live-in nanny. Don't cave.
Dependent-Border2644 said:
NTA, your sister needs to stop having kids by a man that's not helping her and you need to cut ties for a awhile so she just won't instantly think you're going to help babysit or if you don't want to go no contact charge her for your services. $18 an hour. She'll stop asking after the first payment and stand firm.
Nobody has ever stood up to her in this way. The husband sounds like to me lazy and probably misogynistic. At this point, them ever staying married is a financial benefit for him cause, imagine getting a divorce, then paying child support for 7 kids.
Absolutely absurd. If no one tells her, she will literally keep having kids , I know I got a cousin that has 11 and still counting she can barely afford school clothes.