Woman tells sister that she's no longer the 'it girl' in town, 'stop acting that way.' AITA?
AITA for telling my sister she is no longer the ‘’it girl?"
So I (25F) have a sister (30F). We are from a small town where everyone knows each other. When we were younger she was the it girl of our town. She was really pretty, social, well liked by everyone in general.
I was the opposite. I looked like dobby from Harry Potter. I was extremely skinny, had crooked teeth, frizzy hair and a huge nose. Really grotesque to look at in general. When people saw us together they would get really suprised. They would often ask us whether we have the same dad or not.
On top of that I always felt like my sister was ashamed of me. She never wanted to take me anywhere or wouldn’t like being seen with me. She even told me it’s because people ask her questions about me. The thing that really annoyed me was when her friends would make fun of me. They would often call me the little goblin and my sister never stick out for me.
Anyways since I knew from a young age people wouldn’t like me for my looks I always worked on my grades. I went to a good university. Then I worked on my looks, I gained weight, got a hair care routine got a nose job and got braces. Now I look 7 out of 10.
My sister's life on the other hand didn’t go as well. She went to university dropped out, got married and got divorced and moved back at home and works in a market. She also gained a lot of weight because of stress.
This summer she called me asking whether she could come stay with me and my fiancé for a while. She told me she cannot live with my mom anymore and there is nothing to do in out small town. I agreed and she started living with us.
The issue is, whenever she gets the chance she talks about our past. She says how much I changed myself and tells everyone my looks weren’t always ‘’great’."The other day we were out with my friends and she did that again. But she also showed the most unflattering childhood picture of me and people started laughing.
I don’t know what happened but I started seeing red. I told her she also looks really different now like 40 pounds heavier. She is also no longer the it girl so she should stop acting that way. She is the girl who lives with her sister's house rent free and tries to embarrass her. We are currently not talking. So Reddit AITA?
EDIT:
As some of you have guessed it, I don’t really talk about my braces and my nose job with other people. It’s not something I hide, I just don’t randomly bring it up saying I’ve got this and this done. I think that’s why my friends were suprised.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Certain-Key-3288 said:
NTA - She bit the hand that feeds her and deserved to get slapped back. There is nothing wrong with speaking up for yourself even if you said something you normally wouldn't have. She was out of bounds first. However sometimes being the cooler head prevails, something to consider for next time.
With that out of your way you should sit down like adults and have a conversation about how adults act and what you expect of her if she wants to continue to live with you.
SunnyBunnyHopHop said:
NTA. You are doing your sister a favor by letting her stay with you & your fiance. For her to make passive aggressive comments & try to belittle you in front of your friends is completely out of line. You are completely justified in calling her out/putting her in her place following such remarks.
And to be clear OP, I hope you recognize that your sister is only saying these things because she is jealous of you. How attractive or popular you were or were not in adolescence has absolutely no bearing on your life now as an adult.
Your social status in high school only matters while you are in high school. For your sister to even care enough to bring that up now as an adult is nothing short of pathetic. You were right to call her out on that, & I hope you are enjoying living your best life as an adult (which is what really counts)!
Ferretinthestars said:
NTA. Your sister peaked and is wishing for the good ol days. She is jealous and wants to ruin your happiness any way she can. Also why did you agree to let your sister live with you when she's been horrible to you your whole life? And the age gap is big enough to where this was an adult bullying a child at one point.
HuskerCard123 said:
"I'm sorry the best time of your life was when we were children and you felt more attractive than me, but now we are adults, you live in my house for free, and I expect to not be treated like I was when we were children. You can be an adult or you can leave my home." NTA, obviously, but why is she even out with you and your friends? They aren't her friends.
KronkLaSworda said:
NTA, but it's time for her to move back home or somewhere else. She doesn't get to disrespect you like that and stay in your home rent free.
Reggiemidss said:
NTA, sucks to peak in highschool. Tell her that getting picked on for your looks in the past was hard on you, and that maybe if she had to over some more adversity as a youth she would be more sympathetic to not wanting to be made fun of as an adult for it, because that’s not who you are anymore.
I’d give her the ol “don’t throw stones in a glass house” saying, and ask her if she would like you showing before pics from when she was skinny, married, and not down and out and washed up. I think an honest conversation about your feelings is warranted and if she doesn’t like it than ask her to move her miserable ass somewhere else.