Vegan woman tells son grandma eats 'cow' not 'beef'; in-laws are pissed. AITA?

Vegans get a bad rep. No dairy, eggs, or meat can make eating out with non-vegans a pain. Then comes the sense of superiority for being vegan; not all vegans do this, but the ones that do are insufferable. It's also insufferable for meat eaters to try and force vegans to eat meat.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A*^%ole Subreddit, a vegan woman watches as her MIL tries to get her vegan son to try eating cow, and she gets in trouble for telling her son the truth.

She writes:

"AITA for telling my son his grandma eats cow (not 'beef')?"

My partner and I have been vegan for years. We have a 4-year-old son who eats the same things as us, so, for now, is also plant-based.

We have always said that our goal will be to instill vegan values in him, but that ultimately, once he gets to the age where he starts to have more autonomy, he won't be punished or anything for choosing to consume animal products when presented with the opportunity--that will be his choice.

Of course, it would be a (secret) bummer for us. But that's why we refer to him as plant-based rather than vegan until he chooses that label for himself.

The rest of our family is not vegan and generally doesn't try to be accommodating regarding that either. For example, my MIL insisted on throwing a birthday party for my husband but then mentioned the morning that she would be serving pizza, cake, and ice cream (non-vegan) and that we should bring our versions to the party 'if we wanted to eat some.'

Which wouldn't have been unreasonable except that it was a party she was throwing FOR my husband. Just little things like that. ANYWAY.

Last weekend we went to a BBQ at a relative's house. Per usual, we brought our food—veggie dogs. My son was sitting on my MIL's lap with his veggie dog, and she was eating a (beef) burger. She asked him if he wanted a bite.

This is the first time I've seen her offer him meat. She wasn't trying to be sneaky about it. By asking in front of me, I think she was testing the waters a bit regarding our earlier statements about him having the choice to eat animal products if he wanted to.

He said, 'Is it cow or veggie?' (we eat plenty of veggie burgers, veggie nuggets, etc., so he knows to ask what things are made of). MIL said, 'No honey, it's beef.' He said, 'Beef?' She said, 'Yes, it's good! Try a bite.'

Sitting across the table, I watched my son process her answer, which was intentionally indirect, so I offered, 'Beef is another word for cow.' My son said, 'Cow?' and pulled a kind of shocked face, which surprised me because he knows most other people eat animals, but he acted like this was unheard of.

My MIL gave me such a dirty look. My son did not try her burger, ate a few more bites of his veggie dog, and went to play. My MIL got up and went inside, and I didn't see her for the rest of the BBQ.

Later, my FIL called my husband berating him for allowing me to 'drive a wedge between your mother and her only grandchild by making him think she is an animal killer or something' (this is close to verbatim). That I can't 'keep him from eating normal food' forever, and I should apologize.

We don't think I did anything wrong, but my BIL texted my husband also, saying he thinks their parents are overreacting but that I should not have been 'so specific about what beef is' and that it DOES seem like I was trying to throw my MIL under the bus. AITA?

The internet is here for the truth.

HaloCorp says:

NTA (Not the A#$hole). Plenty of people explain to their children that beef is cow, vegan or not because that's a good way for kids to understand. Also, good on you guys for not forcing him to be vegan when he's old enough to choose! That's awesome!

C_Majuscula says:

NTA. Your MIL was intentionally misleading your son by not explaining what beef is in an attempt to trick him into eating meat.

Feather757 says:

Beef is cow, that's the truth, and there's no reason you should keep that from your son, just because MIL wants him to eat beef. NTA.

Uh-oh, Granny is mad cause she got called a LIAR.