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Woman tells stepdad to 'get a life' instead of 'policing' her teen sister. AITA?

Woman tells stepdad to 'get a life' instead of 'policing' her teen sister. AITA?


"AITA for telling my stepdad to get a life instead of policing every little thing my sister does?"

My (22F) mom (55) got married to Harry (50) last year and he moved in to my moms house. My little sister Molly (15) still lives there. Harry doesn’t have children so Molly is the only child living there.

Molly and Harry have not been getting along. Immediately Harry and my mom got married, Harry felt the need to start making decisions on how my sister should be raised.

My sister was sick of it and spoke to our mom about it, and our mom told Harry to tone it down and he kind of has. He stopped intervening in the big things and started managing Molly in the small things like how she dressed, how she arranges her room etc.

The other day, Molly bought razors to shave her legs. Harry confiscated the razors and said that he knows exactly why a teenager is buying razors and it isn’t for her legs (insinuating that she bought them to shave her privates).

I was horrified that he would even dare tell Molly something like that and think he has the right to decide whether or not Molly shaves. After Molly told me what happened, I immediately called my mom and told her to tell her husband to mind his damn business and stay in his lane.

She said I can’t talk about him like that but she will discuss the issue with Harry and see what happened. Harry later called me to “explain his side of the story."

It was the exact same thing Molly told me but he was talking about it in a way that he was doing what was best for Molly and looking out for her. I told him he seriously needs to get a life instead of worrying about things that have nothing to do with him.

He said he won’t allow himself to get spoken to like that by a child and hung up on me. My mom is on his side because she said I took it too far when I told him to get a life. I don’t think that’s as bad as what he’s been doing to Molly and I feel like he needed to be called out on it if my mom wasn’t going to do it.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Impressive-Amoeba-97 said:

NTA and you and Molly need to tell friends and family exactly why she can't shave her legs and pits. Loudly. Uncomfortably. This man has serious control issues and your mother is choosing a man over her daughter. She's INFLICTED this man on the poor kid.

Specialist_Passage83 said:

NTA. Your stepfather is horrifically inappropriate, and your mother is terrible for taking his side.

Viperbunny said:

NTA. Your mom is being stupid. She let a man, who is not the father of her child and hasn't been a part of her life have the authority of a parent. He isn't her father. He doesn't get a say in things like this. Also, what a fucking creep. So what if she did shave her privates! That would also be none of his damned business!

Individual_Plan_5593 said:

NTA this guy is a creep. Best case scenario he's living out some power fantasy now that he has a minor under his control, worst case scenario? I don't even want to go into why a grown man is so concerned with a young girl's shaving/hygiene habits.

Regular_Boot_3540 said:

NTA. What you said is not nearly as impactful as the way he's treating Molly. Your mother has her priorities messed up. Not only that, but your stepdad is an adult and doesn't need protecting, whereas Molly does. I'm not sure what you can do except keep hammering on it. Use neutral words if that helps.

Creative-Sun6739 said:

NTA. Good job speaking up for your sister, since your mom is scared to. Ask your mom why Harry's feelings are more important here than Molly's. Why is it okay for Molly to feel uncomfortable in her own home so that Harry feels like he's the man of the house?

Is your mom really so hard up for a man that she would allow her young daughter to be mistreated? And point out to her that if she keeps allowing Harry to act this way, she doesn't have to worry about seeing Molly much after she turns 18.

Everyone agreed unanimously with OP for this one. What's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
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