Okay so for a bit of backstory I used to do almost everything with my cousin. I’d visit during the summer and she would visit during the winter. Somewhere after turning 21 we stopped talking due to her boyfriend and I not getting along but we eventually made up after 3 years.
Anyway, in November last year my fiancé proposed to me and I was extremely happy and told my family. I also told my cousin and her boyfriend when they came over for thanksgiving and she seemed...kinda upset?
I brushed it off due to me just being excited and she left without saying anything. 3 weeks later she tells my mom she’s getting married and my mom told me. I originally didn’t have a problem until she started trying to rush the wedding. Every one was telling her to slow down but she would just get upset and she spent all this money she can’t get back.
Eventually she gave up and I didn’t hear from her for awhile. My mom recently told me she’s getting married on the exact day me and my fiancé decided on. (Halloween next year) and I’m just...annoyed? I asked her what was going on because it felt weird and she said it was nothing.
Now, growing up, she always tried to one-up me and I always let it go because my mom would always say that we were better off than she was and I really just wanted to spend time with her at the end of the day but it was never enough.
My family thinks I’m being ridiculous and is saying she’s not trying to outdo me so I told her I was pregnant and wouldn’t you know, 2 weeks later and she announced she’s pregnant. I am just so tired and I don’t know what to do because my family is saying to just ignore it and just go to the wedding but I can’t.
I’m hurt and she knows I’m hurt and is trying to talk about us going shopping together for her wedding and I’m just done. Maybe I shouldn’t have lied but I was trying to prove a point to my parents and I’m not sure if I should just cut her off or just go to the wedding.
Start fabricating incredibly inconvenient/expensive flexes for her to try and top. seed the info though family friends and social media even. tell no one except your so what you're doing so they can help.
This is when you just say screw it and have fun with it. Find some hideous flower arrangements. Clashing colors and styles. Go on and on about how gorgeous and UNIQUE they are.
Bridesmaid dresses with a butt bow so big it hasn’t been seen since 1986. My GAWD you have to have that special D&G look, saw it on a side catwalk during fashion week, it’s going to be THE thing soon and you’re first! Continue on. Let her wedding be a shock to the system when you walk in.
Oh, and when she asks about shopping for your pregnancy and such, give her a confused look. Why ever would you think I was pregnant? Gaslight the hell out of her. She’s told everyone she is, so now she gotta fake a miscarriage. She won’t mind cause it’s attention but it’s more lies to keep straight.
NTA. Tell her you eloped instead! It’s sooooo romantic (play it up). See if she elopes - if she does, take your wedding date back!
NTA. I have a cousin exactly like this. Luckily most family members recognized what was happening because this cousin also has a shady past. Many many years later and I still don’t trust her.
NTA in this instance. I normally do not endorse lying period but in this case, I can understand. It's likely your family won't see it because they would have already if they were going to. If you picked that date, go forward with it and enjoy yourself.
If you are flexible or have other dates that work, pick something but don't tell anyone until you have locked it in. If they can't make it, then they can't make it but it's better than them passing the info on to someone that tries to do what she is. She obviously has an inferiority complex where you are concerned.
NTA tell her your honeymoon is on some VIP secret island that costs a lot of money. Lets see what happens. Or tell her you are getting a tattoo. I really would love to see how far you can go.
So I did read most of the comments on my other post and you guys are absolutely hilarious! I did sit down and talk with both sets of parents which led me to this update!
Her parents spend over 15k on her wedding and she decided to just go to the courthouse instead. She changed her plans last minute (after I said I was going to the courthouse myself) and tried to invite people who said it was too soon and couldn’t go.
Her parents were furious. Not only was it a waste of their money they can’t get back, but they also can’t come down for the courthouse wedding they’re doing. I also asked if they knew about the go fund me that she set up asking for donations in case anyone wants to help them celebrate and they said no.
Her dad was having none of it and called her to take it down. I’m not sure if it was taken down or not since I have her blocked on all social media now.
About me lying about being pregnant, Her parents AND my parents(and most of my friends) were in the loop about me lying. Her fiancé kept spam calling/texting about what kind of things I was buying for my baby and I told him a whole bunch of things. I made an Amazon wishlist (with the help of some of you,and my fiancé) and sent it to him.
He did mention that it was kind of expensive but I kept saying how much I NEEDED these items because they were so cute and that I know my cousin would love them. Welp. He ended up buying a lot of stuff (even before I sent him the list)he says he can’t return and my cousin called me asking to go shopping with me for the babies and that’s when I told her that mine was a false positive and how let down I was but that I was happy for her.
Her fiancé called me extremely pissed off because there were things he couldn’t return and I should’ve told him sooner. I asked how that would matter since she is actually pregnant and he hung up. I talked to her mom and she told me that my cousin admitted to faking being pregnant and now her partner is upset with her for lying.
I know there were some people saying I shouldn’t use pregnancy as a tactic and I do apologize. I was really upset and wanted people to see what she was doing. I’m fine with having that bridge burned and me and my fiancé have made different plans as far as us getting married goes.
We want a huge wedding so we decided to wait a couple years so we can save. I don’t know if there’s going to be another update but I’ll post if there is!
Way to go! Her fiance deserves to see the kind of person she is, especially after lying about her pregnancy just to gain approval and attention from everyone else around her, especially since all she wanted to do was take that attention away from you and your partner. Ik it sucks to say but im glad everyone got to see her for her lies and one-uping behavior.
You are STILL NTA and an absolute boss! I think it's awesome that you lied about your pregnancy and your idiot cousin and equally stupid fiancee lost money trying to compete and "keep up with the Joneses." Who cares if he lost money on baby stuff he can't afford and can't return? Did he think he could sell it to you after he and baby mama use it and trash it?
I'm happy that you managed to one up her and make everyone see what she was doing. I do feel bad for her though, because she's going to live a horrible life if she continues on this path. She needs to life her life instead of yours, so I hope she goes to therapy to work on her issues. That doesn't excuse her behavior though. Hope you have a lovely wedding!
Your cousin seems like a very expensive person to be related to.
I'm sure she'll be stalking your future wedding plans as well - despite being pissed at you. Although it sounds like it will have to be with a different fiance.