Woman threatens to call police after sister tells adopted daughter she isn't family.
What is family? Is blood thicker than water? Family isn't always defined by blood. On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, a woman faces this very question.
AITA for saying I’d call the police if a family heirloom wasn’t returned to my adopted daughter?
A story about true love.
I (28f) met my husband X (30m) 10yrs ago. At the time, he was a single dad to a 6mo baby girl, Lily(11f). I worked at the bakery he’d stop at every Saturday before their walk, and eventually, we started going out. We got married six years ago, and I legally adopted Lily soon after that.
One ring to rule them all.
In my family, it’s a tradition that the oldest daughter gets gifted an old sapphire ring on her 11th birthday. The ring belonged to my grandmother, who gave it to my aunt, who gave it to me because all my cousins are male. Lily’s 11th birthday was a few months ago, and I gave the ring to her because she’s my oldest daughter.
She loves that ring more than anything. She put it on a chain to wear around her neck so that she could keep better track of it, and in the months that she’s had it, I’ve never seen her take it off.
Lily has one good aunt.
My sister Mia (24f) is one of Lily’s favorite people. Lily loves her aunt, and sometimes Mia texts to let me and X know that she’s picking Lily up from school to spend time with her. The other day, I got one of those texts from Mia, so I told her to be safe, have fun, and make sure my daughter came home at a decent time because it was a school night.
Interesting.
Lily got home about an hour after dinner, and she barely said hello to us before she went to her room. I thought that maybe she was just tired, so we didn’t immediately ask her what was going on.
Yikes, she said that to a child?
I checked on her that night, and when I walked into her room, I saw that she had been crying. I asked her what was wrong, and it took a minute. Still, she eventually told me that Mia took the ring from her because it’s a family heirloom that’s supposed to go to the “actual” oldest daughter, and because I adopted her, that means she isn’t family.
I didn’t go to Mia’s apartment that night to get it back because I spent the rest of the evening reassuring Lily that she was my family. She is 100% my “actual” oldest daughter, no matter what our DNA or anyone else says.
Mia would be a ringwraith in Lord of the Rings.
I left Mia a voicemail the following day, telling her to return the ring before I drove there and got it myself. She texted, saying she would only give it to me if I had a daughter before she did, but until then, she’d keep it safe to ensure I didn’t give it back to “the wrong person.” So then I told her that if she didn’t return the ring by 2 pm that day, I would be calling the police and reporting it stolen.
Ringwraiths have a different concept of family.
She started texting like crazy, saying I was being ridiculous. Our mom is in on it now, too and she thinks saying I’d contact the police was taking it too far and that Mia was only trying to keep to the family tradition.
pinkpeonies-23 says:
NTA (Not the A**hole).
She took a birthday gift from your child and then told that child that she “wasn’t really family”? Your sister is lucky that all you did was say you’d call the cops.
Drayden71 says:
NTA call the cops on her
FewSheepherder-6383 says:
Yeah, heirloom or not, she stole valuable from your child. Save her messages, and go to the police to file a report. She herself destroyed your relationship, so feel zero guilt. She will steal more if you let her and I would be suspicious that she has done it already. Also remember - you are protecting your child, she cannot be trusted with her now. She may do something else for her in the future. Do not accept this. NTA