"AITA for threatening to skip Thanksgiving?"
I was born on Thanksgiving. As a result, every year, we celebrate Thanksgiving AND my birthday on the same day. I get presents, my favorite leg, and ice cream. It’s how we’ve done it every year.
The other day my mother made a group chat and told the immediate family that we would have one extra guest. My BIL. His birthday falls this Friday. An entire week before Thanksgiving break.
My mom found this out and said we could have a joint birthday. I told her no, I didn’t want that. She argued that it was his birthday and she could do what she wanted. I flat out said if I see a cake made for him, I’m leaving, and I’m not coming back.
Yes, nobody else should be allowed to have a birthday around your birthday.
The group chat did not like that. Everyone started defending my mother, calling me a brat and selfish, but I didn’t want to share another thing that was supposed to be for me.
My high school graduation? Overshadowed by my Stepfathers retirement. Getting into college? My older brother got in, too (an entire semester before me). I got overlooked so much that I paid for my senior and graduation pictures. (But I’m vain enough to gift those pictures to everyone for every occasion.) AITA??
Edit to add: Y’all the year I was born I was born on thanksgiving, we celebrate it on thanksgiving every year. It’s a tradition.
Edit to add 2:. I have spoken to my family about my feelings and everything that entails that. They still ignore me and call me selfish.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Appropriate-Camel367 says:
NTA), and I'm sorry you share your birthday with a holiday. I’m having our child a few days before Christmas, and it’s really important for us to make sure the two things are always separated. I know not every family thinks birthdays are as special as we do, but I understand why you’re hurt.
RB1327 says:
It seems pretty odd that your family would continue to celebrate your birthday on Thanksgiving even on all the years when the two dates don't align (Thanksgiving is a 'moving' holiday). NTA, I suppose.
kjlo78 says:
YTA. You are an adult. If you want your a separate celebration, then plan it. The reality is that people are busy, especially during the holidays. They don't have time to do three separate family get-togethers in one week.
nron says:
YTA. The date of Thanksgiving isn’t fixed so it’s not always your birthday, what gives you the right to claim it? You and your BIL both have birthdays around thanksgiving it makes sense to combine the celebrations. Quit acting like a spoiled five-year-old.
Later OP came back with thid update:
I want to thank everyone who responded, I have read through as much as I can. I know I’m not the asshole for how I feel, but the way I went about it could have and should have been better. I will apologize for that, and for being a bit dramatic in my word choosing. I also realize that maybe this issue wasn’t the issue I needed to be focused on.
You guys are right it was the straw that broke the camels back, and I blew it up way more than I needed to. I will not be going to family Thanksgiving this year, instead I will be hosting my own Friendsgiving.
No birthday talk until the ACTUAL day of my birth, and I’ll think of something to do with my Girlfriends. Seriously, even the YTA comments, I thank you. It helped me see that some hills aren’t worth dying on, and sometimes I need to just back away.
I also feel like I should clear some things up:
1.) I don’t get the entire day, I get 10 minutes set aside for ice cream and 2 presents. I get my favorite RIGHT leg at dinner but that’s as far as being “ special “ gets. Seriously, after those ten minutes I go back to being ignored. As a matter of fact I’m the only one who cleans the kitchen because if I say no everyone screams at me.
2.) I don’t particularly like having my birthday on the holiday. But I know how my family gets when I would like to change something, so I’ve never argued that aspect of it.
3.) I love my BIL and my entire family. It’s just us. No extended family comes, no one from out of state or even hours away comes.
4.) I listed a few but not all examples of times I’ve been casted aside. My brother got two college acceptance celebrations. Once for just him and then the second time for me AND him.
My own traditions start now. It’s like y’all said, I am a grown as%$ adult, I need to act like it. And thank you for the birthday wishes!! This year will be the best one yet!