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Woman uncovers fiancé's 'diabolical affair,' plots unhinged revenge while in shock. AITA? MAJOR UPDATES.

Woman uncovers fiancé's 'diabolical affair,' plots unhinged revenge while in shock. AITA? MAJOR UPDATES.


When this woman is shocked to uncover her fiancé's affair, she asks Reddit:

"Fiance having an affair with my bff of over 2 decades. Plotting revenge now. AITA?"

I f23 just found out my fiance m23 is cheating on me with my bff f23 who I've known since we were in diapers.

Today I left for a trip to attend a business meeting and 2h later my sister sent me a video of my fiance and my bff making out outside Starbucks.

I am absolutely heartbroken and I have no idea how to process this. We we're together for 3 years and our wedding is in 2 months and this girl has been by my side since birth. I don't have memories without her. I'm trying to explain the pain I feel right now but I can't. How am I supposed to express this crap?

I've gone over my relationship and my friendship a million times this past past 3h and i just can't understand.

I also didn't get how you can backstab someone who is paying for your college, rent and car. Her parents couldn't afford it so I've been financially supporting her for the last 3 years.

And him?He lives in my apartment free of charge because I wanted him to save his paychecks so he can start his own business like he always wanted. I'm doing 90% of the chores because I wanted him to relax after work and I'm 100% responsible for our 4 dogs.

Plus I've been paying his mom's mortgage for a year… I am so stupid… How could I be so stupid? We never had any fights and until now i was under the impression we were happy.

I mean…he made me breakfast every morning and always made sure to tell me how happy and lucky he feels to have me in his life and how he can't imagine not being with me.

This man has been sending me i love you texts every damn hour! I don't get how he can do this and with my bff out of all people. How can she do this? It's not like it's some random girl that didn't know he has a girlfriend, it's my bff! She has been helping me plan the wedding all while having an affair with my future husband.

I'm supposed to drive back home right now but I'm sitting in my car at a gas station crying and asking myself wtf is going on. I'm physically in pain. I'm confused. I'm in shock.

I'm writing this hoping it will help get it out so I can think about my next move and drive my ass home safely.

I'm sorry if this is a mess but I'm a mess right now. Any advice on how i should navigate this is very much needed and appreciated.

Edit to add that I'm doing a to do list because thanks to you I've realized there's a lot to take care off. Also, I'm going to stay at a hotel until I'm calmed down so i can drive home.

Before we provide you with OP's major updates, let's take a look at some of the top responses:

alannaadvice writes:

I’m so sorry OP. But these are not good people. These are two-faced terrible people who are pretending to love you while they take advantage of your generosity. I think you were naive to be generous to that extent; paying for everything for both of them?, come on!

Who knows how long they have been doing this. Be prepared for lame apologies, gaslighting and begging. Just remember that none of it will be genuine. What they really care about is what you can do FOR them , nothing else.

That’s how selfish liars like this operate. Act accordingly OP. Cut them both off, don’t be swayed by apologies, and then let yourself fall apart later. That’s ok. After this kind of betrayal, anyone would be devastated.

I hope you find the strength to remove them from your life and move on to better things. It will be unbelievably hard for a while but you are stronger than you think. You got this!

apprehensive7 writes:

I bet he feels like less of a man with you because of your clear success and with your BFF he's more on equal footing plus both of them are getting the best deal in life which is an amazing supportive person who is helping them get ahead in life..

I need an update because I hope your exit strategy is detailed and meticulous. Cutting off payments to everything once you found yourself somewhere temporary to move too. Or stay where you are but you'll have to evict him legally.

Change all passwords and close joint accounts, delink your card from her tuition & Rent payment give her mom a heads up right before cutting off payment maybe tell her you’ll pay 1 more month then she needs to ask her daughter or family to help from here on out.

Call all vendors and cancel and tell them not to call or tell anyone else. Parents could definitely ruin this for you and convince you to stay.

When I tell you don't let anyone convince you that this is okay and that because you've spent so much time together you shouldn't leave.

The opposite is true they've been lying to you for who knows how long and that's good enough. I'm sure it doesn't feel this way but finding out now is worlds better than a year or 10 from now I promise.

metalsticher writes:

You can tell right off the bat that they are using you and it is heartbreaking. They're going to try everything and anything to get you to forgive them don't you need to stand from it's going to be hard but you need to stand firm.

Change the locks change your passwords cut them off of any access to any financial support that you give them and make sure that you get a lawyer involved just in case.

Then the fun part you kick everyone out keep the dogs because I'm pretty sure that they would end up on the street if God forbid he would try to take them and that's just not fair to the puppies.

Then what I would do is I put the place up for sale or whatever wherever you're living sell it move somewhere else and just cut everyone out from your life because they're just going to be so toxic and you don't need that you need time to heal.

And the one main thing is seriously do try to go and start talking to someone because it does make a huge difference and it will make it better.

lingerinthedoorway writes:

Hello girl, first of all I just want to commend what a SUPERWOMAN YOU ARE! I can’t believe that someone so loving, smart and generous is being betrayed by the very people they trust the most and give all that love to.

Just by your description I can only imagine how lucky these people are for having someone so incredible like you in their lives.

You pay for your bestfriend’s tuition, help your fiance with all you can so he can reach his dreams—girl, you ARE the DREAM GIRL every man wishes to havee in their lives. You truly do not deserve this bullshit and I can’t believe they’ve done this to you after everything you’ve done for them.

I just hope that, for your own peace, you cut these two off from your life forever and cease all the financial assistance you’re giving them.

It will not be easy and it will make you question your self worth and everything else but please believe me when I say that, unfortunately, EVIL PEOPLE like these will not hesitate to take advantage of someone like you to get what they want.

It will not be easy because I can see that you love them so much, but this kind of people, who feed off of someone’s kindness, DO NOT deserve you.

THEY DO NOT DESERVE YOU. I hope you cut them off right away and I wish you all the best in life. You deserve people who will love you genuinely and with pure intention!

iddiebit writes:

Waiting for the update of the fallout with bated breath! I assume one of your mutual friends is probably gonna tell you what happens. Assuming one of them doesn't manage to contact you when some sort of pathetic excuse themselves.

Can't wait to hear about their downfall!! You did an amazing job handling this (even though it might not feel like it because OUCH) and I applaud you for living your petty dreams with that stolen car report.

I wish you all the luck and success in the world and am excited for how much you'll be able to do and pamper yourself and your puppies with all the extra money you'll have now that those snakes are out of your life.

Be blessed, take your time, and heal! I'd also suggest looking into some therapy, this kind of betrayal is no joke.

And now, OP's major updates:

Little update : I've been talking to lawyers for hours and we're making sure my STBX does have any right to my place because apparently he's lived with ms long enough to be able to file a claim. Also, I've cancel all payments that aren't for me.

Thar was a bit tricky and took a long time but it's done. I've moved all the money from our shared account into my personal account and the bank reassured me if any of them calls the bank can't give out any info because it's in my name.

I did however took precautions and texted them that the bank called me and frozen the account by mistake so they know they can't use it.

I've done so many things this morning that i can't even remember all. But i read the majority of your comments.(btw thank you so so much for all the support you guys showed me) i took the advice of all the people that commented and I've sorted out maybe la 40-50% of this mess.

I'm now at the point where i have to tell everyone, go home, confront the and kick them out of my life.

Update 2:

I'm at my sister's rn typing this out. My sister and a couple of her friends when over and cleaned the apartment of everything that was his - except for the things i got him- and they're currently in trash bags outside.

My sister's boyfriends dad was nice enough to change the locks. I'm not going back there. I'm going to rent an apartment until this settles down and them I'm going to sell the apartment and buy a house because my dogs deserve a back yard. I also have security cameras so if he shows up or tries anything I'll know.

Now, after i calmed down i decided i want to be petty so I'm going to report the car as stolen considering it's only in my name. I'm going to go over to his mom's and talk to her in person because she's honestly been nothing but great and i do feel about about just ghosting her. So ill go talk to her after I'm done updating you guys.

I'm not planning on confronting any of them because i think that will only disturb be more. We have a group chat with everyone at the wedding and im planning on just sending the videos in the chat.

My lawyer and i are also going over all my convos with them looking for any messages were they said they would pay me back for something (thanks to the person that suggested this in the comments) and i think you'll be very happy to know that i have proof of her saying she will pay me back for her college expenses. Yey! I think that's it for now I'll be back later

I talked to his mom and she was shocked when i told her. She's told me she's going to cut him off and he cand take his cheating us to his cheating dad. I don't know if she's actually going to cut him but that's when she said. We cried together and she kept apologizing.

I send the video in them making out in the wedding group chat and then i blocked their numbers. I have no desire to speak to them ever. I did report the car as stolen she got arrested. I'm almost done with the wedding cancelation. I'm not getting to much back since the wedding was so close. I'm going to finally get some sleep now.


Update : hi guys. After my last update I've decided since I'm not getting my money back on the venue i will keep the reservation and have party.

Most of the guests took time off work and made arrangements to come for the wedding already so we will have a party. I'm going to take my sister and a couple of my friends on the honeymoon trip and make it a girls vacation.

Most of my exs family and friends shunned him after seeing the video and they've reached out to apologize for what he's done. My ex bffs family is not speaking to her either.

I've also found out today from my exs cousin ( who btw knew about the affair) that my ex quit his job around the same time he moved in so unfortunately for him he doesn't have any savings. I don't know what he did in the time i thought he was working but my guess is he was with his mistress.

My ex showed up to my apartment but he left after my neighbor said she'll call the police. I don't know or care where he is. I blocked him after i send the video.

I'm going to move to a different city. I've been looking at houses and i think i found the perfect one. I need to make some arrangements to move from my office to working from home but I'm actually excited.

I've found a therapist in the city i want to move and i can't wait to have my first session.

Idk if or when I'm going to update but i really want to thank all of you for your help and support. I've been trying to reply to everyone but i have hundreds of comments and messages. Thank you so much. I'm shocked with the feedback my post received. Thank you for the awards as well.

Final update:

Last update : hi guys! I'm doing very well. I love the new house and the situation finally settled. I did manage to get back quite a large portion of the money I've spent on these 2 disgusting people.

Therapy has really helped me deal with everything. Expect for the court i haven't seen or spoken to any of them. Thank you for all the support and all the comments and messages. This is going to be my last update so thank you and goodbye.

Poor OP! Any advice for this woman? What would YOU do in her situation?

Sources: Reddit
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