Woman uses stepdad's money to vacation with BF instead of spending time with family, asks AITA?
Woman uses stepdad's money to go on vacation with her boyfriend instead of spending time with family at her stepbrother's wedding.
Master-Parsley-4949 writes:
My (F23) mom married my stepdad when I was 12. He's okay, and he and I have a cordial and friendly relationship. His son, Danny (26), on the other hand, is an a%@#ole and a bully. The best day, for me, in that house was the day he went away to school.
I haven't had to spend more than three hours with Danny in the last 8 years. He was only home in the summers, and I was with my dad or his family during that time.
Anyway, he managed to convince some poor woman to marry him. I received an invitation in the mail and immediately RSVP'd an emphatic 'NO.' My mom called me to ask why I wasn't going to attend. I said that I couldn't afford it and I didn't really want to go. Other than her, I will have no real relatives there.
My stepdad got on the call and said he would pay for me to go on the trip. I asked if I was going to have to share my room. He said no. I asked if I was supposed to do anything other than attend the wedding and reception. He said no. I asked if my invitation included a plus one. He said no.
It was $2,200 for single occupancy or $1,800. He sent me $2,200 to book my flight and room. I would only agree to go if I could book my trip so there was no mistake and I somehow ended up with great aunt Gladys in my extra bed. My boyfriend scraped up $1,400, and we booked the trip. I didn't mention it to my mom.
We ended up having a great time. We did a bunch of excursions, and I attended the wedding and the reception by myself. I participated in the family pictures and danced at the reception. I was social and even had dinner with my mom and stepdad one night.
My boyfriend used our resort bonus cash to book himself a solo excursion to some rum distilleries, so he was busy the day of the wedding.
I had dinner with my mom last week, and she brought up how rude I had been to use money meant for me to spend time with the 'family' to subsidize a vacation for myself and my boyfriend.
Apparently, I was expected to eat every meal and attend all the wedding stuff. I reminded her that I didn't want to go in the first place and only agreed after I was told I was only expected at the wedding and the reception.
She says that my stepdad is upset that I pretty much ignored everyone for the entire week. I don't think I did anything wrong. AITA?
Here are some of the top comments:
Artistic_Tough5005 says:
NTA (Not the A%@!ole) You attended the events you were asked to. Your BF paid his own way.
OP responded:
That's what I said.
Aggravating-Pain9249 says:
You asked about attending anything other than the wedding and reception. SD said NO. You attended those. Your mother and SD wanted to put on a show of a perfect blended family. You spent your SD's money on the flight and hotel as requested. Your BF paid for his own flight. NTA.
Excellent-Count4009 says:
NTA. "She says that my stepdad is upset that I pretty much ignored everyone for the entire week." You did EXACTLY what you agreed to do, and your stepdad agreed to it, too: You went there, and were there for the wedding.
Your stepdad EXPLICITELY TOLD YOU the only expectation was for you to be there for the wedding: " I asked if I was supposed to do anything other than attend the wedding and reception. He said no. " "I don't think I did anything wrong." .. you did NOT. If they are angry, that is solely THEIR fault.
rebootsaresuchapain says:
NTA. You made it very clear you would be only available for that one day. And you showed up with a smile and had your photo taken. That’s what was agreed.
mastimama0722 says:
NTA. I love it! Malicious compliance is the best. You did exactly what you agreed to, but not another thing. Noone can fault you, maybe they're just jealous because you had a better time.
What do you think? Was OP right to only do what she felt obligated to do?