'AITA for walking out on a date after he accused me of being interested in his money?'
"ITA for walking out on a date after he accused me of being interested in his money?"
So this just happened, and I'm now discussing it with my flatmate, who has a different view to me. We figured we'd see how other people feel. I (32f) just met a guy (38m) for a date.
We started talking two days ago on Bumble, and he suggested we meet up after work for drinks today. We didn't speak much on the app. He said he preferred to go straight out for a drink, and I'm the same way.
Anyway, I met him outside the bar around 5:30pm (UK time, so like two hours ago now), and we went inside for a drink. He seemed nice, relaxed, chill. We sat down and talked a bit about the bar and the holiday I just got back from (coincidentally, he'd been there right before me).
All fine, but then it got weird. After that topic came to an end, I asked him how his day was. He said something like, "Yeah, fine. A bit long and stressful, but I'm glad it's the weekend soon." So, I followed that up with, "So, what do you do."
After that, he didn't say anything for a second, looked at me sort of aggressively, and then just said, "That quickly?"
I said something like, "Sorry?" because seriously, wtf is that answer. Then he said, in a very aggressive, honestly almost angry voice, "You're just interested in how much money I make, is that it?" I was so taken aback I just said, "Okay", downed my drink and walked out.
I just got back and told my flatmate about it (who is also male). His perspective is that he's been out with girls who were just interested in his money and that maybe it was a sensitive point for the guy, and I should've clarified that I was asking out of interest rather than walking out.
My point of view is that it's a normal question you ask when you meet someone for the first time and that his response was a red army of flags and walking out was the right call. AITA?
Here's what the top commenters had to say:
Patrickosplayhouse said:
Why on earth would you NOT discuss jobs/careers etc? ESPECIALLY after the door was opened by his comment about his long stressful week, and enthusiasm for the weekend. Good call on bailing. Dude became aggressive and confrontational on the first date. Should have thanked him for showing his true self so quickly and efficiently.
divwido said:
how nice of him to also answer the question "So why are you single?"
crpngdth2001 said:
I’d go buy a lottery ticket if I were lucky enough to dodge a bullet that quickly after meeting someone! NTA.
stevieaberdeen said:
NTA. Literally unmatched with a man yesterday because he accused me of being after his money. I clarified that I was just making conversation and he got volatile. That was that.
d0ghairdontcare said:
Automatically jumping to “gold digger” when a woman asks him a perfectly normal get-to-know-you question is a huge red flag. It says a lot about his view of women.