When a frustrated ex-wedding 'host,' decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As%hole' about a horror show of an unpaid gig, people were ready to weigh in.
I (24F) have been hosting events since I was 18. I sometimes do it with pay but most of the time, I just do it because it's fun. I would usually offer to host events for close friends and family for free.
I jokingly ask them to pay me with good food and a good time and most of the time, that's the case.
Daisy (25F) used to be a good friend of mine but now we're not that close anymore. A few weeks ago, I heard from one of my best friends that Daisy had been telling people that I would be the host at her sister's wedding reception.
She didn't ask me about it up until 2 weeks ago. I wanted to say no but I'm actually really close with her family and I wanted to do them this favor. I knew her sister was having a small wedding and they wanted to stay under a certain budget.
Of course I wouldn't be paid for this event but it didn't matter. I sent them the program for approval but never heard back from them until a day before the wedding.
All she said was 'Oh yeah, it was okay' without saying anything else. I felt a little worried about the whole event but I decided to push through because I had already agreed.
The day of the wedding comes and Daisy told me not to come to the church and just go straight to the reception venue. I did and when I arrived, I was immediately being yelled at by the groom's family (from what I was told, they were the groom's aunts).
They criticized basically everything about me and told me that I should've dressed better and now all of their wedding photos would be ruined thanks to me. I was a wearing a dress pre-approved by the bride and had just plain makeup, nothing too crazy since I was just a host.
I just lowered my head and didn't say much. I waited until Daisy and her family would arrive. When they did, before I got a chance to tell her what had happened, the groom's family chimed in and complained about how (verbatim) cheap looking the host they hired was.
I expected Daisy to defend me but she shrugged and said 'The other host we hired cancelled on us last minute. Please bear with her, I promise she won't be in the pictures' my jaw dropped when I heard her say that.
She ushered all the other guests inside the reception area and left me outside. In my anger, I left the venue without telling anyone. Daisy kept calling me a few minutes after I left but I didn't answer.
A day later and my phone was being blown up by texts and calls from both the bride and the groom's family, calling me all sorts of names for leaving the event without notice. Now I'm starting to feel bad about what I did. Am I the as%hole?
lbrownlbrown said:
NTA. But you need to stop letting people use you. And don't be at anyone's beck & call.
Kirin2013 said:
NTA, I would post the story from your side on facebook because what they did is all sorts of wrong and they should be called out on it. Especially the groom's family.
Davidcaindesign said:
NTA, but you’re a pushover for sure. Never work again in your life without being paid first off. I mean ever, for anyone. Especially family and friends. Charge double for them specifically. Secondly, get contracts every time signed in advance along with the money.
Responsible_Candle86 said:
I was fully prepared to disagree with you but wow. NTA and frankly you should start charging people. This is just a random friend's sister. Their behavior is beyond ridiculous. Good for you for leaving.
Personal_Tourist_152 said:
They got the service they paid for. NTA.