Woman wants to ban partner's friend from using their bathroom, 'Every. Single. Time.' AITA?

"WIBTA if I told my partner his friend can't use our home bathroom anymore?"

My (26F) partner (30M) has two friends and business partners (also 30M) who come to our house a few times a week to work, hold meetings, etc. The office they use is downstairs and has a bathroom, which is also our only common-area bathroom. 9 times out of 10, my partner and I are using this bathroom and it is the only bathroom that other guests use when they come over.

Every time that one of these guys comes over, our bathroom smells like a fishy sewer for days afterward. Every. Single. Time. We keep re-caulking the toilet but it doesn't even matter because the next time he comes over, it's back.

Both of these men are significantly heavier than us but one of them lived with us for the better part of a year and we never had this issue. Friend #2 must be doing something ~extra~ on the toilet that's causing this right??

My partner feels uncomfortable saying anything to him about it (understandably) but we are both disgusted even standing in our own bathroom. It feels dirty and nauseating and takes days for the smell to fade.

WIBTA if I banned him from using our home bathroom? WIBTA if I put a sign up in the bathroom indirectly addressing the issue? This all feels ridiculous for my own home bathroom but I'm at a loss LOL.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Background_Ruin_3631 said:

YWBTA unfortunately. You can't have guests in your home and refuse to allow them to use the restroom. If these are work colleagues/business partners of your partner, that would look bad.

What I don't understand is if this keeps happening, why doesn't your partner find alternative venues for these work meetings? Also, it would be prudent to bring it up, because nobody should leave a fishy smell behind in the restroom. He sounds like he has a medical issue he needs to get checked.

rockology_adam said:

YTA. Look, I get it. And you are not wrong for wanting your bathroom to not stick for days afterward. But there is an unmitigated level of A-holery here in thinking that you can ask a guest in your home to not use the bathroom. Do I think that Friend 2 is the problem? Yes. Does that mean Friend 2 is the BLAME?

That's a tougher question. There are a ton of medical and biological reasons why Friend 2 may stink up the place. I will point out that if it's just the bathroom afterwards, and the smell doesn't permeate the basement while he's there, it could be something he is actively doing.

But odds are that talking about this is just going to embarass everyone and generate tension. And that's under the assumption that it IS Friend 2 and not something that has changed for Friend 1. It's also under the assumption that is IS actually these friends, because you say they come a couple of times a week and the smell lingers for days... so when does your bathroom NOT smell?

So, why are you still hosting these meetings? The home office might be nice but it comes with this kind of issue. The people you invite over are going to need to use the facilities. You might want to consider a co-working space or a bookable meeting space with public facilities.

You would be within your rights to talk to Friend 2 about it, if you want that hassle. But it is likely to be embarassing and fraught, and either the conversation or the ban runs the risk of making waves with your business partners that can have real ramifications aside from your social life.

Fast-Recognition-550 said:

I’d have a plumber look into this. No matter what that dude does in there, it should not have a lingering odor like you describe. We had that issue and it turned out to be a plumbing issue. Something about the septic/toilet vent.

houseonpost said:

YTA: You have a problem with your bathroom that you need to get fixed. The plumber may find a dangerous issue like sewer gassing seeping in. The guest who did whatever he did may have save your life by exposing the problem. Bottom line (pun intended) if your toilet can't be used by certain people it is the toilet's fault, not the person's fault.

vt2022cam said:

NTA - but you have to make a choice that could damage the friendship and the business relationship. Is that worth it? It sounds horrible. Maybe lots and lots of air fresheners. Add the bleach tablets to the back of the toilet bowl or those blue things that stick to the side of the bowl.

I’d rather have the blue water if it will kill the smell. After he leaves, Dawn Dish soap and bleach. Let it sit 20 mins and pour a pot of near boiling water down it. If that doesn’t kill whatever he’s got going on, he needs medical attention.

AcceptablePatient534 said:

NTA. Probably need to replace the wax ring and flange on the toilet. It sounds like the seal is being broke when someone uses it. Is the toilet wobbly? (American plumbing) I know people from all over are on here.

The water in the bowl keeps the smells out but if the seal on the floor breaks it will let the smell in. You are probably smelling sewer gases. If they are bigger sized people all it takes is them leaning one way or another if your flange is weak/broken to pop the seal and the chalking releasing the gas and the smell.