Woman wants to leave 'poor' sister out of her mother's will; 'She's drained our family long enough.' AITA?

When this woman wants to exclude one of her sister's from her mother's will, she asks the internet:

"AITAH for leaving my sister out of the will?"

My mother (F) recently left me in charge of her will and said for me to give shares as I see fit to my 2 sisters. One sister, we shall call her Devon, is always on food stamps and financial assistance even though she has a masters degree and work experience.

She is a single mom and had a child out of wedlock. She has worked before, but was laid off and now trying to work on her “art”, while picking up shifts here and there doing Rideshare or substitute teaching.

She is not making enough money to survive and is draining my mother (who gives her about a couple thousand dollars a month to help her out) of money. It has been over a year and she still does not have a steady job.

I am left in charge of her will and I am thinking about not giving her any money. My mom and Devon have had a strained relationship and Devon is not liked by anyone in our family bc of the poor choices she makes and her temper.

My mother has mentioned in the past to not give any money to Devon bc she is entitled and doesn’t deserve it, but to give some money to her daughter when she gets married to help her with the wedding which I plan to do.

We have not talked since, and my mom is besties with Devon right now but only bc she is supporting her with money each month to keep her out of debt.

Am I the asshole for considering to keep her share of the inheritance and calling all the money my mom has given to her (and not us) over the years her share? My other sister says this is not selfish at all but my husband is asking me to rethink this.

Let's see what readers thought:

daghai writes:

First, your mother is a mega enormous AH for making one child in charge of her will and telling the child to slice things up as they see fit. Yikes. I cannot imagine anything a parent could do that would drive more a rift between children.

Get your mother an actual estate lawyer to work directly with her. If you don’t, here’s what is going to happen: the will is likely to be challenged and spend years in litigation.

This is quite unlike cases where there’s smoke, mirrors, and purported (but unseen) shadow influence over a parent. Here, one child is cutting the cake and selecting their own slice. The litigation will likely eat up the value of the estate, too.

Meanwhile, your one sister is obviously struggling. Should she get a steady job? Sure, if she can find it. But is it any of your business how your mother chooses to support (or not) a specific child when life throws a curve ball? Not whatsoever. This is a trap, and you’re naive and self-absorbed enough to gleefully walk right in. ESH.

drunkens06 writes:

First, your mother is a mega enormous AH for making one child in charge of her will and telling the child to slice things up as they see fit. Yikes. I cannot imagine anything a parent could do that would drive more a rift between children.

Get your mother an actual estate lawyer to work directly with her. If you don’t, here’s what is going to happen: the will is likely to be challenged and spend years in litigation. This is quite unlike cases where there’s smoke, mirrors, and purported (but unseen) shadow influence over a parent.

Here, one child is cutting the cake and selecting their own slice. The litigation will likely eat up the value of the estate, too.

Meanwhile, your one sister is obviously struggling. Should she get a steady job? Sure, if she can find it. But is it any of your business how your mother chooses to support (or not) a specific child when life throws a curve ball? Not whatsoever.

This is a trap, and you’re naive and self-absorbed enough to gleefully walk right in. ESH.

indivs24 writes:

ESH. I'm assuming that OP has been made either the executor of her mother's estate and/or the surviving trustee of her mother's revocable living trust.

It's your mother's will, not yours, that should determine the distribution of her estate. Her failure to do so and to delegate the hard decisions to you is simply unfair to you (who will bear the brunt of this decision) and to your sister.

Absent more direct guidance from your mother -- guidance that she is willing to put in writing and to sign in what, for want of a better term, I would call her "Will" -- you need to put the decision-making back in her hands.

Your taking upon yourself these choices is unacceptable. You have a massive conflict of interest that could open up a viable legal challenge to how your mother's estate gets distributed. This judgment-filled post could be exhibit A in such a challenge.