Woman yells at 'nosy' friend, 'she just wouldn't take no for an answer.' AITA? 'Last night was my last straw.'

"AITA for yelling at my friend when she took her nosiness regarding my girlfriend's personal business too far?"

I'm pissed over this so please tell me if this makes no sense. I, (22F) have been with my incredible girlfriend, Layne (22F) for just over a year now. I introduced her to all my friends about four months in and since then she's been hanging out with us (seven including me) regularly.

So, I have a friend, Freya (23F), who is kind of nosy. For a couple weeks, Layne has been out of town (before anyone asks, she didn't want me to come. I offered but she said she just needed to do this alone) for family issues I won't spill here, and Freya has been nagging me like crazy about it. Me and my friends all go to the same university, and we hang out pretty much everyday, so I can't avoid her.

First, I thought it started with honest concern. I told her what I said before, that she's out of town for some family stuff. Plain and simple. Subtly trying to get the idea across that it's none of her business. She accepted that for all of one day. She then amped it up to pressing about exactly what the family thing is.

I just kept shutting her down, calmly asking her to drop it, saying that Layne doesn't want her stuff being aired out like that (which she had explicitly told me). But she just wouldn't take no for an answer. Just kept insisting that it was fine if she knew, and I would just ignore her. Last night was my last straw.

We were hanging out at a local bar when Layne called me. I told my friends I'd be back in a bit and went outside to take it. Layne was pretty upset, so I told her I'd get a cab and go home so I could fully focus on her. I quickly went back into the bar to tell my friends I had to go, mind you, I still had Layne on the line because I was only anticipating for it to take a minute.

I just said something like "Hey guys, but I gotta go, see you later," and pointed at the ongoing call. Freya, who was dead sober, decided it was a great idea to try to grab my phone from my hand, yelling questions at Layne.

I backed up and held the phone to my chest, completely surprised because seriously what the f? I yelled at her to back off and told her my girlfriend's personal stuff was none of her business. She spluttered for a second, everyone else just staring at us bewildered before I just left.

I talked to Layne on the way home and told her what happened, but said it was no big deal rn and refocused the conversation on what she needed to talk about. By the time I got home I had turned my phone on do not disturb and was facetiming Layne, so I didn't see the messages from my friends until today.

Freya was pissed that I yelled at her, and two of our other friends, Toby (23M), and Clay (22M) shared the same sentiment of me embarrassing Freya by getting so angry at her when she was "just worried about Layne."

The rest of my friends were asking me if I was okay and siding with me. I just wanna know, despite my friends and Layne telling me Freya was totally weird for it, did I overreact? I'm starting to feel a bit guilty, I never ever yell like that.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

[deleted] said:

NTA. Freya tried to take your phone to ask invasive questions about something that has nothing to do with her. I would definitely keep my distance. You know the truth, Freya wasn't "just worried about Layne." She is a nosy busy body who inserts herself into situations she shouldn't. I hope your gf's family issues work out in the best possible way. Good luck to you and Layne.

Sue_in_Victoria said:

NTA. Freya was way over the line. Toby and Clay probably don’t have the whole picture.

No_Raise6934 said:

NTA, but a small piece of advice to help this type of thing happening again. 3 strikes you're out. Doesn't matter who but if anyone asks anything personal about you or anyone in your life, depending on the situation. First time, tell them thanks for your concern but it's private, or it's private thanks for understanding.

Second time, I thought we spoke about this when you first asked me? Don't you remember? Then repeat what you said. Third time, if there was a reason for you to know I would tell you. This is now the 3rd time, you are just being rude now so don't ask again because you are being very disrespectful and I don't appreciate having to talk to you like this.

Fourth time, blast them. The longer we allow anyone, friends, family members, work colleagues or acquaintances the more they'll push your 'cross over line' with each request for information that is none of their business.

Obviously each situation and person calls for different wording to suit. This should stop most people who clearly don't have any ethics or who don't really know you. I hope Layne is doing well.

perpetuallyxhausted said:

NTA, if Freya is really close enough to your gf to be let in on what she's going through, then surely she's close enough to have her phone number. Clearly either she doesn't or your gf isn't answering her invasive questions...

And attempting to grab someone's phone out of their hand when you know they're in the middle of a sensitive phone-call is just out of touch and screams "main character syndrome" to me.

Nafnlaus2 said:

NTA. She pushed things to far, she needs to understand boundaries.

WomanInQuestion said:

NTA - Freya is not a friend. She nearly assaulted you, tried to steal your phone, and screamed invasive questions at someone because she NEEDS to know other people’s secrets. The other friends are siding with Freya because they don’t know the whole story. They only saw the one incident and not the whole picture.