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Woman boycotts wedding after realizing bride and groom scammed everyone invited. AITA?

Woman boycotts wedding after realizing bride and groom scammed everyone invited. AITA?

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"AITA for not wanting to attend my friend’s wedding anymore?"

Lanky_Beyond1948

My (29F) friend (30F) will be having her wedding in Vegas on December. Everything was going well until last month when she and her fiancé decided to organize a reunion for all the people going to meet. Which we loved. My friend even told me they’d create separate groups based on shared interests so we could form easier bonds between each other.

Well that meeting actually turned into something else. As soon as they welcomed us, they dropped the bomb that they had made a reservation for everyone’s flights and we had to pay them on Tuesday (the meeting was on a Sunday).

Everyone froze and awkwardly laughed. After the meeting many of us reached out to them because we had found better options since it’s high season and all of us come from outside of the US, so flights are not that cheap. Even less the ones they booked, which were above 30% what we could find online.

Tuesday arrived and they say they will divide us by who wants to check prices with them for the plane/ plane +hotel/ just hotel. I figured it didn’t hurt to check with them. Wrong. Should’ve known better after what happened.

Two weeks go by and they send the price per person, not per room. Again way above what I could find online, this time almost double the price. During that week two more friends told me they’d be getting married outside of our state, plus my husband really wanted to be in his country for his dad’s 60th birthday which is on another continent.

We sat down and budgeted for everything we had to attend to. And we decided we would go to the wedding but with the flights and hotel we found under a much cheaper price.

When I texted my friend to let her know… it was like a complete different person from the one I know. She didn’t care to know my reasons, she simply said it was not possible, that we had to pay for the room. I tried to let her understand and nothing.

She said we had compromised to pay for it, when that was never the case, since I couldn’t agree on something I never saw the price for. When they sent the price we sat down to check if it was possible or not.

I really wanted to be there for her, but the hotel’s price for three nights is the price for a whole wedding/ other wedding trip we have. It felt very weird to feel that my friend’s focus was on that hotel vs her friends actually being there for her. And the fact that everything they are checking is always more expensive than what I find online.

All the money had to be transferred to her or her fiancé with the rest of us having no contact whatsoever with the travel agency organizing. We couldn’t sign any contracts not ready directly from any papers from the agency about prices.

The chat went on until she said the only solution was for us both to pay the cancelation fee (which if we still went and payed for the other hotel would equal the price of the stay with them). Again it seemed us being there wasn’t the goal.

At that point my husband said he’d pay the cancelation fee just so that the friendship wouldn’t be ruined. I already felt it ruined by the way she was treating me, it felt more like if you wouldn’t fit the mold of what she wanted of a wedding guest, then there was no use for us.

And I felt tricked because they never mentioned whatever price they found, we’d have to pay for. She stopped replying to me when I said I’d love to be there for her special day but the numbers she was giving were impossible for us due to all the other events.

Cut to her fiancé writing some very passive aggressive texts on the group chat for the wedding. Saying this will be the first and last time they’d pay a cancelation fee and that no one had complained about the price.

That it was a very good price because a business trip he went to (that the company he works for paid) was much more expensive. And that said cancelation would affect everyone else. That it was very inconsiderate to act like that and a lack of respect for them.

He went on a rant of how cheap it was and closed the messages from the group so he could only write. Not like we’d reply publicly to anything, but ok. She then proceeded to kick us out from the group. Again no answer on her part.

I understand she is upset, In more familiar with destination weddings having travel agencies managing things directly or having the freedom to choose how to arrive and where to stay.

I didn’t know she had signed a contract for over 40+ people to pay for a price we didn’t know yet (which I’m guessing is why she’s so stressed). Had I known asking for a price would involve having to pay for it no matter what of course I wouldn’t have asked.

Me and my husband weren’t huge fans of the fiancé being all passive aggressive on public and not having my friend address things directly with me, since that’s how I was handling it.

So now we don’t even feel comfortable going due to the treatment we’ve been getting of basically being “too poor” to not afford this place and too problematic for finding cheaper places.

And since we don’t feel comfortable, and I still want her to have an amazing time, I don’t see the point of going to make things awkward. Am I the a$$h0l3 for not wanting to go anymore? Should I contact her again? She has not replied to anything I wrote before her fiancé ranted publicly.

Here were the top rated comments from readers:

uniquecam

Wouldn't surprise me if they were overcharging to cover the cost of their wedding.

pizza1sgr8

Bingo! This was my thought the entire time as well.

_--Marko--_

Looks like they have become a travel agency and making money of their wedding by charging over and above the norm. Perhaps it pays off their entire wedding, honeymoon and next 10 years expenses. Who knows. I would Decline the invite.

rebelpaddy27

They're definitely getting everyone to pick up the tab for their costs or they are terrible negotiators. Don't pay the cancelation fee either, you have no contract with this "friend".

A real friend would not do this to their friends so I think you should accept that this friendship is over and she has shown you who she is, believe her. Enjoy the other events, don't feel a bit guilty, this is disgraceful behaviour on their part.

littlepinkgrowl

They should have talked to you all way before she booked anything - it’s normal to look for yourselves and if the figures don’t work then they don’t work. Her and her fiance shot themselves ok the foot and are trying to blame you.

So, what do you think here? If you could give the OP any advice, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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