Family ties tested as daycare pricing debate turns sour; 'this is my job, pay me.' AITA?
"AITA because I won’t give my brother daycare for $25/day?"
Select-Tart-6113
I (33f, recently divorced mom) operate an in-home daycare with my sister. For the last few weeks, we have been caring for our 10-mo nephew, our brother’s son, with the expectation that my brother will eventually start paying us, including back pay.
We have cared for my nephew 14 days so far, about 4-7 hours per day. My brother wants me to charge only $25 per day, whereas we usually charge $60 per day. When I made a case that $30 per day is reasonable, he responded:
I am not a client, I am your brother and he is your nephew first off. When you and [ex-husband] were considering selling your home I was going to do 1% commission instead of 3% because you’re family, which roughly would have been about and $8,500 pay cut. [This was never discussed.]
I did pay hundreds for a daycare, and I have no problem doing it again. The difference is a daycare I know 100% I can always take my son there, with him going to y’all, we have to figure out a solution using leave hours anytime the house is down with sickness or y’all go on vacation.
I am compensating based on the amount of work you have to do for the 3-4 hours he is there, actually hourly it’s more than compensating. It is not my fault you chose a route where you don’t make a lot of money, but that damn sure doesn’t make it my responsibility to make up for it.
I think your mindset is a little twisted. You have the opportunity to see and build a relationship with your nephew and get paid for it separately where we don’t count toward your attendance. That is either $400-$450 a month for seeing your nephew or if you want to be petty it can easily be $0.
Y’all are the ones that said over and over again you wanted to see [nephew] more often and wished he would go there. I am not by any means strapped for money where I can’t easily put him back in daycare full time… but y’all wanted to watch him and I knew it would bring some extra money your way at the same time so should be a win/win.
Where you have it f--ked up is you think I need to take him there and you want to talk like he’s just another kid or I’m just another client. I’m not the one to be getting in a back and forth with.
If you want the money every month to see your nephew then you need to check yourself, or I’ll keep him the rest of this week and he will start somewhere else next week, I’m not here to play “you’re hurting my feelings games”.
Let me know, but this isn’t a back and forth. I thought it was a good way for him to spend time with his family and to put some money in your pocket, if it’s a problem already, just say so and I’ll gladly make other arrangements.
After that, I responded that I thought his message was entitled and disrespectful, and I think it’s best we do not continue a business relationship. My brother says I’m “entitled,” my mindset is “twisted,” and I should “say less.” AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
NTA. Ignore that entitled brat. Every point he made was garbage.
Who cares what he supposedly was going to do when he didn't do it? And if he was going to give you a pay cut, then why not give you a pay raise now?
Again, why is he underpaying you for some hypothetical thing that never happened. And btw, if he paid other daycares "hundreds of dollars," he's already getting a discount!
How insulting! He's not "making up" for anything. He's paying the amount everyone else pays.
I absolutely hate parents who guilt and gaslight you via your kids. So manipulative. To be honest, the kid's 10 months old. They're not going to remember sh*t, so do not base your decision on "building a relationship with your nephew.".
Hypocrite. He's the little boy who wants special treatment. Tell him to go change your nephew's diapers himself, along with his own. I don't know why family expects you to pay less compared to strangers. Frankly, you should pay more because it's family and they want to support you.
Forget this guy. You should honestly refuse him, and if he comes running back, demand $100+ an hour. Don't be a doormat and let this guy walk all over you.
Exactly, OP you are running a business, and it costs money to do so. Offer him a 5 percent discount otherwise find a new client.
NTA . There might be argument for "but it's just $5" - but that response from him? Um, no. I barely got to #2 when I was already thinking "don't mix business with family" and that you should just say "no". Glad to see you did.
With this attitude of his, I think he would become more and more of a problem. He claims to have paid hundreds before and can do it again, but he hasn't paid you yet and owes you? Interesting.
Yeah - don't watch your nephew. It will only cause more issues. And at this point, dont' get into it with him anymore - just say "It's best that we keep business and family separate from here on out". He spouts off more? "I understand.
It's best that we keep business and family separate from here on out". He ends up coming back and saying "O.k - look, I decided to do you a favor (because you know that's how he'll spin it) and pay the $30 a day". Response is "I appreciate that, but it's best that we keep business and family separate from here on out". Over and over and over.
NTA. You are doing him a favour not the other way around. I love that he’s tried to flip that on you. Here I’ll do you a favour look after my child in lieu of a kid who pays the full amount and relish the time he’s ever so graciously allowing you with your nephew.
Well bugger that. You did the right thing. If he has soooo much money then he can pay the full amount for daycare. I don’t know why he fails to realise whether it’s in your home or not. You are running a daycare. He made his bed. Now he can lie in it.
" If you want the money every month to see your nephew then you need to check yourself"
Not only would I say no to baby sitting for your brother, I'd go low/no contact for a while for your own sanity after this BS statement. This is a service. A service where you charge $60. You're already giving him a $30/day family discount. NTA, he can kick rocks.