'AITA for not helping my parents out with their phone bill after they ignored my advice.'
"AITA for not helping my parents out with their phone bill after they ignored my advice."
VegetableGood1701
In the country where my parents live the phone companies are a rip off. They charge $16 a day for data, texting and voice calling when you are roaming. My parents came to visit us in Europe when my son was born and they stayed with me for a month.
I told them that they should get local sim cards since they were like $50 for 50 GBs and unlimited calling back to Canada. They said that they wouldn't be on their phones all the time and that they didn't want different sim card in their phones. I said I would pay for the dang sim cards but they would not listen.
Well, they just got their phone bill. Each of them kept their phone on and called family and friends and sent pictures of my son and their trip back home every day. They were here for 35 days. At $16 a day their bill was an EXTRA $560. EACH.
They called me and said that they couldn't afford an extra thousand dollar bill after their vacation. I paid for their flights and they stayed in my home for 26 days. And I used points for their hotels for the other nine days they traveled around. All they paid for was food and souvenirs for those nine days.
I refreshed their memories. I said if they wanted I would send them the $100 that I offered to pay for the European sim cards. They are upset that I won't pay the bill just because I'm petty about them not doing as I suggested. I declined to argue any further.
My mom posted about it on Facebook. How her rich son, (I'm not rich), screwed them over because they wanted to visit. I ignored them until people started saying I was a jerk for doing that to them.
So I literally posted receipts. The cost of their flights, hotels, restaurants while they stayed with me and we showed them a good time. I also posted screenshots of them saying that they would stay off their phones so they didn't have to do what I said.
Pretty much everyone started saying that they were not smart for ignoring good advice and greedy for asking for more after my wife and I already did so much for them. My mom is pissed. But, what should I do?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
SoIFeltDizzy
Did you offer to physically buy and put the sim cards in? Sometimes when people age they hide that they cannot do some things. I feel showing the screenshots and perhaps flight costs would have been enough. People need dignity even when they have been As.
The OP responded here:
VegetableGood1701
I literally took them to a store that sold some cards to.get them. They declined.
Loud_Low_9846
OP I think what you did, posting evidence on FB, was brilliant. At least it shuts everyone down as they can immediately see the truth for themselves. Way to go.
SearchApprehensive35
Oh good grief, even 100 was far more than should have been needed. I pay 8 euros per month for 800gb and it's an esim so a visitor doesn't even need to change their sim.
All they had to do is ise WhatsApp, Facebook, Skype, etc and there's no roaming at all. Or they could have left in the home SIMs and turned off roaming on their phones, to enforce the boundary that they claimed they'd live with.
Either way, you were more than generous, gave them excellent advice, they ignored it, and they didn't enforce either voluntary or technical limits on their usage. NTA. As they pointed out, how they use their phone is their business.
They made their choice despite good counsel, and then blamed you for the consequences of their foolishness. I honestly would have withdrawn the cash offer as soon as they said they were sticking with their SIMs. If someone wants to light their own money on fire, that's their perogative but they are not entitled to set mine on fire too.
They owe you apologies as loud and public as their unmerited accusations, and your mom needs to stop pouting like a 4 year old. If they're going to be this ungrateful for all you do to enable their visits, might as well just stick to FaceTime in the future, or spend the money on traveling to them instead.
Ok_Conversation9750
Well of course your mom is pissed - you blew up her narrative that big, rich son refused to help poor, selfless parents in their time of need (queue violins). NTA.
mdthomas
Your parents are adults. You informed them of the cost of their phone usage and offered an alternative. They chose to decline. You are not obligated to pay their bills. NTA.
PantsPantsShorts
Oh dear lord. I'm from Canada. And when one travels outside of Canada, you either restrict your phone/data use, or get a temporary sim card. Everyone knows that. They truly only have themselves to blame. NTA.
Tired_Poet_4784
NTA. Look, like commenters have said, I get it if your parents maybe were embarrassed or didn’t understand how this would save them money even after you said it would. But generally speaking, if somebody explained how it would save me money, and I trusted them, of course I’m taking their advice! $1000 isn’t cheap.
Zestyclose-Story-702
NTA they brought it to social media to try and build up an angry mob, so posting receipts is a perfectly appropriate self defence. It's a FAFO situation.
Curious_Inspector362
Definitely NTA. Your mother is being unreasonable (come on, posting on social media about her son who clearly cares about her and paid for her flights and hotels!) Hold your ground. I would have done the same. This is a lesson she must learn.
Back-to-HAT
You are so NTA. I worked for a huge cellular provider here in the US for a couple of years. My primary job was advanced tech support, but we also took all calls that came in from our international number.
Plenty of inquiries about calling outside the US as well. I have also traveled to Europe. Just so you know I am educated in the ins and outs of what your parents have done.
First, your offer of SIM cards is right on the money for anyone who will be overseas and need cellular data, phone, and texting. The data amount tied to an international plan is very limited, and on a 24 hr basis. You can usually add more for an additional charge.
Wi-if is FREE!! I only use cellular when I am outside of my home, and not at work. I use it at my kid’s homes, as well as good friends. I get a better signal. Put your phone into airplane mode, connect to WiFi, and as long as the WiFi doesn’t suck you are golden.
As for being in Europe, there is free WiFi everywhere. I spent 10 days in London and Paris and only had one time I should have paid for cellular access for the day. There were times that it was a bit inconvenient, but again nothing that was necessary. Your parents failed to properly research their options while visiting.
They ignored your advice and your offer to help. Had they been with a tour group, or visiting extended family or friends they wouldn’t be trying to pull this BS. Again, NTA. I might mention that as parents they taught you about consequences of your actions. They need to accept the consequences here.