'I wore a suit to work and got my supervisor soft demoted.' AITA?
"I wore a suit to work and got my supervisor soft demoted."
I’m posting mainly because I’m not a passive-aggressive type and I’m in disbelief that this actually worked. Ever since I started at my job a few months ago, my supervisor—we’ll call him Josh—has been micromanaging me. When I’m the subject of criticism (which is often), I try to give him the benefit of the doubt and ask him to clarify.
What are your expectations? What specifically should I have done differently? Josh’s responses are always vague, often something to the effect of “Just do better.” I even had a meeting with Josh and HR to address this, but to no avail.
Yesterday, Josh comes to my desk to tell me I need to dress better. Now, I work at a small company, and the vibe is unusually casual. A not-insignificant number of people come to work wearing jeans, hoodies, t-shirts, and/or baseball caps.
I have never worn a hat to work, and I make a point of wearing a button-up shirt with a collar every day. This particular day I was wearing a long-sleeve button-up flannel, chino pants, and Adidas gazelles. Other days I wear loafers and dress shirts that are tucked in.
So, I ask Josh to clarify. Should I be wearing dress shoes? Dress shirt? Tucked in? What specifically do you want me to change? Josh tells me I just need to dress better and that I should talk to HR for clarification.
So I go in to HR and ask, what is the dress code? I get a standard answer: pants, close-toed shoes, no sleeveless shirts, etc. I ask, have I ever worn anything to work that poses a problem? HR says no, you’re fine.
Because I’m mad, and because my repeated efforts to resolve this kind of problem had gone unheeded, I decided to be petty. The next day (today), I showed up to work in a full suit. It’s one I keep for events like weddings, so it’s fitted and I look really sharp in it. It’s also wildly and conspicuously overdressed for the office I work in.
I had several interactions with people coming to my desk to comment on my outfit and ask what the occasion was. When anyone asked (only if they asked), I told them I had been told to “dress better.”
This was always met with disbelief and incredulity. Two people even said they like the way I dress normally. When anyone asked me who the order came from—again, only if they asked—I told them it came from Josh.
I was expecting to pull my little stunt for a week just to prove a point, and then go back to wearing what I had been wearing before. Word got around the office fast, apparently, because the CEO (Josh’s direct boss) came to my desk later in the day to tell me I would be reporting to him now, and that he’d be having a talk with Josh about this and other issues.
It’s important to note that I was Josh’s only underling, so he effectively went from being a supervisor to just a regular employee. I’m on a bit of a high now, I think I’m going to come in to work tomorrow wearing a different one of my flannels!
Edit: This blew up! Thank you for all the support. No, this isn't AI and I didn't use ChatGPT to edit for style or grammar. I genuinely like em dashes and I use them regularly in writing—I promise!
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
Wear a tux tomorrow and demote the CEO.
Clearly being a supervisor didn't suit him.
Now that’s the malicious compliance I live for. You should wear a top hat and gloves just to spite Josh if you see him not being dressed to par.
Do you have any inkling of an idea on what the former supervisor's problem with you was?
zzdelmarco (OP)
He's new to supervising. The CEO gave him this role to test his mettle, but Josh is paranoid and anxious because he's never had this much responsibility before and he's afraid of messing up. Unfortunately, he takes it out on me.
For those who haven’t done the mandatory eLearning courses in their company, we’re taught that managers criticizing work without specific reasons and providing vague, unclear directions with no measurable criteria for success is inappropriate workplace behaviour and repeated instances of inappropriate behaviour after attempts to resolve it are the legal definition of workplace harassment in many countries.
Workplace harassment is often considered a violation of your worker’s rights and often a civil wrong serving as the basis of a lawsuit and/or intervention (through fines and actions to remedy - including compensation) by official regulatory bodies.
Know your rights at work! Representation to assist in enforcing these rights is usually one of the services offered to members by labour unions and is an example of why it’s important to advocate for strong unions.
This reminds me of a true story my husband told me. This would have taken place in the 1950s. His childhood best friend’s father was a skilled machinist. That can be mentally exacting but sometimes dirty job, so the guts wore casual clothes to the shop. He had done this work for decades and liked the job.
One day, when he was in his fifties, he simply decided he was tired of always dressing in casual clothes. Life is too short for that, he decided, and he had several nice suits that he wore only to church, weddings and funerals. Why not wear them all the time?
So he began wearing suits to the shop every day. His coworkers were confused, but just shrugged and went about the work. It threw management into a tailspin, however. It made them uncomfortable in some undefinable way. Finally, at a loss as to how to handle this sartorial crisis, they promoted him to management. Mr. E, gone but not forgotten.