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"I paid for my cousin's vacation and now he's mad because I won't let him bring his friend, WIBTA if I canceled his plane ticket?"

"I paid for my cousin's vacation and now he's mad because I won't let him bring his friend, WIBTA if I canceled his plane ticket?"


Did I ruin my cousin's vacation by not allowing him to bring his friend with him?

Majestic-Lion4535 writes:

I (23F) am very close with my cousin (20M); we were raised together, so we're practically like siblings. When I turned 18, I moved away from home, and we rarely see each other now. During a FaceTime last week, I proposed the idea that he flies out to my home for a long weekend so we can catch up.

I bought the plane ticket in full myself, but he plans to pay for half of it. I already have the time off work approved for when he gets here, and I've been planning fun activities for us. Here's where I might be the AH.

I live in a very popular vacation spot. Yesterday, he asked me if one of his friends could join him for the trip to my home, and he had already invited her. I told him I haven't seen him in over two years and wanted to spend this limited time with him. I also expressed that I am not comfortable housing a stranger in my small home, as I only have two bedrooms.

After I explained this to him, he left me on read all day. He just texted me back saying that his friend's mom went ahead and bought her a plane ticket, and they both fully expect me to pick her up and house her for the duration of the trip.

I told my cousin that his friend needs to look into securing sleeping and transportation accommodations or get a plane ticket refund, as I will not be providing her a place to stay or transportation around for activities.

He is very upset with me, claiming that I would "ruin" his friend's "surprise" vacation by not allowing her free accommodation in my home. I feel as though they lied to the friend's mother about the circumstances because there's no way her mom surprised her with only a ticket for the exact days.

I planned for my cousin to stay here or why they would tell the mother that her daughter would have a place to go after I explicitly said no. Would I be the AH if I cancel his plane ticket?

OP responded to some comments:

EntertainmentOk6284 says:

NTA (Not the A%^hole). He has no intention of spending time with you. You are their free AirBnB.

OP responds:

That’s kinda how it feels, I don’t want to be a third wheel in my own house.

tatersprout says:

NTA (Not the A%#hole). Nope right out of this. If they want a couples vacation, they can book a room and cousin can pay for his own flight. Get a refund on the ticket and tell him that you would love to host him in the future if he wants to have a proper visit. I'm sorry this happened to you.

OP says:

The friend is not his girlfriend. He has a long-term boyfriend whom he has been with for almost three years, and he is violently gay.

cikbliss says:

NTA. I feel like he's probably not thinking this thoroughly, and probably invited her because he told her about his plans and she got excited and suggested to come along. It's probably not his intention, but he is definitely using you even if unintentionally. It's not your responsibility to make sure her "surprise vacation" is not ruined. You have no relationship with this girl at all.

Personally, I would cancel the ticket right now. But you seem to have or had a good relationship with him and you obviously know him better than us internet strangers, so if you want, give him a chance to fix this mess.

So I suggest sending him a text or email about how hurt you are and how disrespected you feel that he discussed none of these things with you, and decided on his own that he can use half your money for the tickets, use your house like a hotel, and become a chauffeur for his holiday with his friend. That's never the plan, and blaming this on you is unfair.

Tell him that you don't appreciate being taken advantage of by someone you consider a brother, and that you don't think you two should go ahead with the plan for now. See what he says, and if he doesn't set things straight with you, cancel the ticket.

AnnaBanana3468 says:

NTA - especially if you can cancel and still get a refund. Your cousin broke the agreement and hasn’t even paid for his half of the ticket yet. And it seems doubtful your cousin will ever pay what he owes.

Yquem1811 says:

NTA OP, but before cancelling it, you can require that your cousin reimburse you in full for his plane tickets or you cancel it in 24h. And you let him know that neither him nor his friend can stay with you anymore.

What do you think? Should OP cancel her cousin's tickets?

Sources: Reddit
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