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'AITA for yelling at my in-laws that I did marry their son for money?'

'AITA for yelling at my in-laws that I did marry their son for money?'


"AITA for yelling at my in-laws that I did marry their son for money?"


I'm (31f)not going to lie or try to gain sympathy. When I started dating my husband (52m), it was because he had money and I needed it to pay for my studies. Of course, I also liked him for his appearance and personality too, but the main reason was because I was interested in his money, like most teenagers.

Well, over the months we fell in love and have created a beautiful marriage and family. We have five children who are 10, 8, 6, 3 and 1 year old. But his family always treated me like a gold digger.

The worst thing is that even when my husband asked them to respect me, they ignored him and continued treating me badly even in front of the children. And I never responded to their insults until last week when my father in law (86m) jokingly told my husband not to take his eyes off our older daughter because, "with the example she has as a mother, she will end up badly."

Listen, I know he said that because my daughter is very affectionate and she always jokes that she is in love with my sister-in-law's husband's brother. For many, it is a joke because she is only 6 years old and we know she is not serious.

When my father-in-law said that, my husband got angry and told him not to talk that way but he continued so I got angry and told him to shut his mouth. And he asked me, laughing, if it was a lie that I was a girl desperate to hook up with a rich old man.

I yelled at him, telling him that it wasn't his problem if I married his son for money and that, in fact, I started dating him because I was interested in his money. But, that if my husband doesn't care, they should shut their mouths.

I don't know why, but when I admitted to my initial intentions, they no longer laughed or found it funny to call me a gold digger. On the contrary, they had the nerve to get angry and say that I disrespected them by yelling at them in front of their acquaintances.

But I don't think I did anything wrong. In fact, I think they deserved to be treated like that. I mean, I have been part of your family for thirteen years and I showed that I love my husband with my life and I do not deserve to continue being treated like this, so AITA?

Just to clarify, my husband always knew that I was interested in his money. Like, come on, no 18 year old teenager would date such an older man for love. He is not stupid enough to believe that.

He paid for my studies and I pleased him in other aspects. That was our arrangement. That obviously changed when we fell in love and decided to start a family. I never hid anything from him.


I was never a SW. We were always a couple and everyone around him knew me as his girlfriend. Even my family knew him as my boyfriend and a few months later we fell in love and, although things were rushed, we got married.

And no, I did not sign a prenup. So, for those who say that I am with him for money, if I had wanted to, I would have left him and kept half of his money plus child support for five children.

But, I didn't do it, because I love him and I would have given my life for him. I honestly considered him the love of my life and it was years ago when I stopped caring about his money.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:


Nah, you're NTA here. You've been straight-up honest since day one, and your hubby always knew the deal. Those in-laws were begging to be put in check; you simply delivered the blow. Yes, it did start about the money, but turned into real love and a family. Anyone got beef with that, their issue not yours. Don't let 'em get to you. Keep showing those kiddos what strong looks like.


NTA. At 39, OP's husband knew what might draw an 18 year old's attention. They were both upfront. Gotta love how his family won't acknowledge his part in the dynamic that started their relationship, but it's easier to cry 'harlot' and lay blame solely on her. OP took away their ability to hurt her with it when she openly owned it.


NTA but really they should be more embarrassed that their 29 THIRTY NINE year old son was trawling for teenagers.


NTA. Relationships begin for many reasons but they also change. After 13 years and a ton of kids, jokes about gold diggers and old pumps would wear thin on anyone. They’ve been asked to stop being dicjs but sometimes people need to be put in pain to change their behavior. Also, they were taking this out in a 6 year old. Disgusting.


You started this relationship as a transactional based relationship. And so they all knew that. And they still know that. It doesn’t matter where your relationship is now because that was always the beginning.

What should have been the huge concern was their 40 year old son taking up with a teenager. They can direct all their disgust at you, but it should have been directed at their son. Maybe if they didn’t take their eyes off their son he wouldn’t have started an intimate relationship with a teenager.

(Edit: I understand your anger. You were honest with your choices. But your husband needs to take the blame for this. He was the one with advantage over the relationship. He was the one that continued on the relationship with a child. And yes, you were a child. You were 18.)


NTA but they should be more concerned with their son being a predator. You had a kid at 21 with a 42 year old? The whole situation is messed up and, unfortunately, you brought 5 kids into it.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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