'AITA for yelling at my stepmom's MOH after she pulled an attention-seeking stunt at the wedding?'

"AITA for yelling at my stepmom's MOH after she pulled an attention seeking stunt at my parent's wedding?"

Three years ago, my Dad, Mark (38 at the time) and Stepmum, Kristen (31) planned to get married. This was after MUCH rescheduling, they got engaged in 2017 I believe and have been together since me and my stepbrother (Oliver, 12 at the time) were really young. The wedding was scheduled originally for July 2020 but for obvious reasons this had to be cancelled.

Not to go into the details but both my biological mother and Oliver's biological dad are super crappy people, and this wedding was genuinely amazing as we could all be a proper family after years of wedding planning, it truly was an amazing day all drama aside.

Anyway, onto what happened. The wedding was technically a destination wedding but in the country we live in there are loads of fields and small towns, so it was about an hour away at this venue with a bunch of open-air tents, the actual ceremony happening just next to it with my dad's best friend officiating.

My parents rented out a huge house with a bunch of rooms connected to it outside, like separate outside hotel rooms? I'm not too sure how to explain it. Regardless, this place was MASSIVE and there were 30+ people staying there. There was a huge garden, a hot tub, even a whole mini lake with a bridge over it- you get the idea.

Everyone was there for the day before, day of and day after the wedding staying in this house, and that included bridesmaids, maid of honour, groomsmen, my grandma (at the time my dad was no contact with his dad and my stepmom's parents had sadly passed), and a bunch of close family including my cousins and both parent's brothers and sisters.

Everyone else attending would be arriving day of. I'm saying all this to give you an idea of basically, the entire wedding was at this house. Only about another 15 people were coming day of.

The day before the wedding, we had a barbecue and everything seemed to be going well, until the MOH's boyfriend got down on one knee and proposed to her, in front of EVERYONE. I have to admit I didn't notice this at the time, me and my cousins were too busy stuffing our faces with hot dogs, but what I did notice is Kristen suddenly run inside with a couple other bridesmaids following her.

I went along too, only because I was an 'honorary bridesmaid' (I'm a dude but wore a pink suit to match the bridesmaid's dresses because my stepbrother wanted to be a groomsman and I wanted to show I cared for Kristen) and I thought 'oh sh!t, did I forget about some pre wedding thing?' but no, I walked inside and she was crying with some of her other bridesmaids comforting her.

Apparently, MOH's boyfriend (Daniel) had asked my parents if he could propose at the wedding and THEY SAID NO. His excuse after this was 'well I proposed before the wedding, not at the wedding, it's your fault for not specifying not the whole wedding weekend.'

Kristen was obviously upset by this, as she's known her MOH (Eve) since they were kids, and she's pulled stuff like this before to try and get the attention back on her. I'd known Eve for quite a few years at that point and can confirm she's always in some weird constant battle for attention with everyone.

Just for a few examples- Kristen had to have emergency surgery which meant she couldn't have any more kids, it was really hard on everyone, and her recovery was super rocky at times. A day later, Eve announced she was pregnant. And three days later, she announced a miscarriage. Obviously this could've actually happened but the timing seemed far too perfect.

Additional to this, a week after this apparent miscarriage she posted on Facebook about a 'girl's night out' where she posted a bunch of pictures where she didn't really seem to be grieving a lost baby... I guess everyone does process things differently but I remember Kristen miscarrying once a few years ago before the surgery and it took her around a month to properly recover from it.

So to me, Eve's whole thing just stunk of BS. There have been several other instances like this in the past. But, I know what you're thinking- 'Eve didn't know Daniel was going to propose!' That is where you are wrong my friend.

Eve apparently ASKED Daniel to propose AT MY PARENT'S WEDDING. He had tried to propose beforehand and she said some BS about 'she wanted it to be more special for the both of them' and 'sharing that moment would be beautiful.'

Eve came inside and saw Kristen crying, and started screaming (yes, screaming, like a toddler) about how Kristen 'ALWAYS needed the spotlight on her' and 'couldn't share this one moment' and about how 'selfish' she was. This may sound bias because I love Kristen but she's genuinely the sweetest person ever.

She's super non confrontational and genuinely so kind, she stepped up and helped me with so many issues I had growing up that my bio mum completely disregarded, I genuinely owe her so much and I am super lucky she's in my life. But seriously- this was HER wedding regardless, if she doesn't wanna share the spotlight she DOENS'T HAVE TO!!

The full span of me arguing with her I think lasted a lot longer than this but the details are fuzzy. Her method was to play victim, call everyone and their mother an asshole and to start using the 'I have autism I don't know how to be in social situations' card (she does NOT have autism, by the way. Me and my stepbrother both do so this really pissed me off) and a lot of other stuff to try and get people to feel bad for her.

I rounded on Eve, yelling she had absolutely no right to claim 'sharing moments' when this was KRISTEN AND MY DAD'S WEDDING. Eve started crying and saying I was a 'stupid idiot who knew nothing about the b!tch my dad was marrying' verbatim. I wish I was making this up. She actually said that. I was genuinely shocked, like HOW ENTITLED CAN YOU BE??

I shouted at her, saying she had absolutely no right to call anyone a b!tch and told her if she was so desperate to see one she should go look in a mirror. Basic insult I know but in that moment it was really all I could think of. Eve ran off crying, Daniel went to comfort her and shortly after noticed their car was gone, and they didn't turn up at the wedding.

Kristen thanked and hugged me saying she probably would've done something dumb like slap Eve if someone hadn't stepped in lo, and they have been no contact since, but a few cryptic status updates on Facebook lol.

According to my friend I blew this situation out of proportion by calling Eve a b-word regardless of what a crappy person she is and I should've let someone else deal with it, and I wasn't sure what to think so a second opinion would be great. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Inevitable_Project49 said:

NTA!! You stepped up and showed your mom you would always have her back. That was a super sweet thing to do 💕

Temporary_Bug_1171 said:

NTA. Someone needed to put Eve in her place. Good riddance!

notsoreligiousnow said:

NTA. Your friend is an idiot that doesn’t know basic wedding etiquette. First rule, don’t wear white unless the bride has specifically asked everyone to wear white bc she’s wearing some other color. Second rule, never ever propose at someone’s else’s wedding unless they’ve said yes & are happy about it.

emptynest_nana said:

NTA, your bonus mom was obviously upset, you, being an awesome young man, stepped up for the woman who has stepped up for you. This is what family does. Step up for each other.

Family is not determined only by shared DNA or marriage. Family is so much more. I have blood who ain't family and family who ain't blood. Family are the people who pick you when you're down, celebrate your wins, mourn your losses, call you out when you are making bad choices, but love you anyway.

The MOH (maid of horrors) was grossly out of line. It is never okay to steal the spotlight at another persons event.

And No_Zookeepergame7408 said:

You're not the a-hole, you're the hero

OP then shared this edit in response to comments:

Edit: wow you guys are seriously so nice and this was massively reassuring so thank you, my 'friend' isn't as much as a friend as I thought. I will be sure to be a lot more careful listening to their judgement as I can be quite impressionable unfortunately lol.