'AITA for yelling at the parents of a kid I babysat because they didn’t tell me an important thing until the last minute?'
"AITA for yelling at the parents of a kid I babysat because they didn’t tell me an important thing until the last minute?"
I 20f babysat for my neighbors over the weekend, I took care of their 9 year old daughter while they were out of town. They left on Friday and got back today and they asked me if I wanted to babysit their daughter 9f on the Wednesday before and I said yes.
Their daughter is very sweet and cute ( but can definitely be a handful sometimes) but I didn’t think there’d be any issues. They were happy to give me the job and it all seemed fine.
But then on Friday I went to their house shortly before they left and they went over all the typical rules and stuff and then the mom at the last minute explained to me that the daughter still wets the bed every night and wears diapers for it.
Not pull ups. DIAPERS!
She said she diapers her daughter every night at bedtime and I would have to do the same for her while I was babysitting.
This really caught me off guard and I asked the mom couldn't the daughter put the diaper on herself? But she made it very clear the daughter could not put the diaper on herself.
They left shortly after and I took care of their daughter as planned. I was nervous at first since I hadn’t ever diapered a kid older then 4 but it worked out fine. I just diapered her and put her to bed no big deal. But it still really annoyed me that they just dumped that information on me at the last minute. When they got back today I was pretty mad and I kinda snapped.
I told the mom ( dad was upstairs unpacking and telling the daughter about the trip ) that it was a real AHish and irresponsible thing to do to not tell me id have to diaper a 9 year old until the last minute. She said she was sorry and didn’t think it was that big a deal since she’s just a kid and we’re both girls and asked me if there were any problems.
I told her there weren’t any problems but it was still wrong and irresponsible to not tell me something that big until the last minute. I could tell she felt bad and I left without us ever really making up but I still said goodbye to the daughter with a big hug and kiss.
But now I feel kinda bad cuz I clearly hurt the mom’s feelings and there weren’t any issues so I feel like I kinda made her feel bad for nothing. They are a very sweet family and have lived in my neighborhood for years and my family and me love them so I feel bad about snapping.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. The parents know most babysitters would charge more if diapers are involved. I would not go back.
Temporary-Feeling962 (OP)
Actually the pay was pretty good, maybe thats why it was so good, they were giving me a little extra for the diapering.
A nine she should be using pull-ups with no help, it disturbing they put her in a diaper.
NTA. Is she special needs? If not, then she’s old enough to put her own depends on!
Temporary-Feeling962 (OP)
No she’s not special needs though i do suspect she may have some form of ADHD cuz she gets very hyper sometimes and is easily distracted. Her mom insisted she could not put the diaper on herself.
So the 9 yr old only wears the diapers at night because she still wets the bed, but during the day she uses the toilet by herself without issue? I don’t understand why she can’t put her own overnight pull up garments on? Is she mentally or physically challenged? NTA, by the way. She should have let you know the situation before you accepted the job.
Temporary-Feeling962 (OP)
Yes she uses the toilet by herself during the day, but the mom was clear she couldn’t put the nighttime diaper on herself.
NTA. My son wet the bed until he was about that age but he wore Good Nights. There’s absolutely no reason for her to be in a diaper. I mean. That would have been my biggest question. Why is she not in an overnight pull up? A diaper that someone else has to put on?? No ma’am. They need to do better then that.
Very weird. I think I might have gone out and bought pull-ups. No way I’d be diapering a 9 year old, ffs. If she can pull her pants up after toilet during the day she can sure as heck do it at bedtime, too. WTAF.
Prof ECE educator and nanny here. No this is a physical developmental delay and should have 1000% been noted before. Caring for non-potty trained children is ALWAYS an additional cost for myself and my peers.
Nighttime bed-wetting is not the same as not being toilet trained - OP has even confirmed in the comments that the kiddo is, indeed, just fine toileting by herself during the day.
Frankly, it's a little weird that you'd conflate the two if you're genuinely a professional ECE/nanny. I really hope you just misread, not that you're charging the same extra rates for a kid wearing nighttime pull-ups (and this kid should be) as for a kid who still needs help wiping.
NTA. You felt manipulated and then got angry because they deserved it. I’m not sure WTF is going on you got to diaper your average 9 year old kid, but that lady should have trained her on the pull-ups prior to anyone coming to watch her like that. Not good for you, not good for the kid.
NTA They definitely should've told you when you first discussed the job. And I hate the "you're both girls" as if women can't be predators too. Don't feel too bad because they didnt feel bad leaving you to do that.