'AITA for yelling at my neighbors and telling them to get divorced because their arguing keeps me up?'
"AITA for yelling at my neighbors and telling them to get divorced because their arguing keeps me up at night?"
I have been renting a house with my sister for the past year. It’s great and I like the area but there’s one problem: My neighbors. My neighbors are a family and they’re perfectly nice in our interactions but the problem is that the couple will go to their backyard and start scream arguing every single night for like two hours, it’s so loud that it causes both my dog and the dogs in the surrounding area to get riled up.
On top of this, my bedroom is next to the area they argue at. It has been like this for 3 months, the cops have been called on them, I’ve talked to the husband about it, nothing happens. I can’t wear noise cancelling earbuds because my sister is disabled and I need to be aware if she needs me at night.
Two weeks ago, I’d come home exhausted from a bad day at work and I just wanted to sleep in. At about 2 am, they start with their usual shtick, the wife is shouting and the husband is screeching “I DON’T KNOW” repeatedly (something he does a lot) and dogs have begun barking.
The frustration of being tired and knowing i had to get up in two hours just finally made me snap. I opened my window and screamed “YOU DON’T KNOW, YOU DON’T KNOW, IF YOU DON’T KNOW NOW, YOU WON’T F#$KING KNOW LATER SO CAN YOU F--ING LUNATICS JUST GET DIVORCED ALREADY AND SHUT THE F UP PLEASE” my voice was shaking and cracking from the volume.
Well they did get quiet and it was crickets for the rest of the night. For the past two weeks the nights have been radio silent, whenever I see them while leaving my house they avoid eye contact with me, who can blame them. I feel really bad but I was just so tired and frustrated and I just couldn’t hold it anymore.
I wanna apologize but my girlfriend’s been telling me I just need to let it go and that I had every right to react the way I did but I don’t know, I just feel guilty. I wanna say it’s none of my business but at this point I unwillingly know about these two strangers love life more than I know about my own mother. So AITA for how I reacted?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
WhoYesMe wrote:
NTA - They are rightfully embarrassed. Who goes outside to to scream at each other at 2am? Yep, inconsiderate, selfish idiots do that. I guess they didn't want their children (I assume they have some) to hear, but forgot the whole neighborhood got to hear that instead.
OP responded:
I assume that too because my sister, who works from the house, has told me that she sometimes hears them arguing during the day inside their house when their kids are gone at school.
Outrageous-Ad-9635 wrote:
NTA. Behaving the way they did is completely unreasonable at any hour, but doing it at night - night after night - when others are trying to sleep is off the charts rude. Just because they liked to pretend that nobody could hear their “private” shouting match doesn’t make it so. Your neighbours made their problems public, so the public gets to weigh in.
You tried to handle it politely and they didn’t stop, so you took a more direct approach. Your neighbours needed a wake up call and you gave it to them. Good for you. They can’t look you in the eye because they’re embarrassed because they can no longer ignore the fact that everyone knows their business and they got called out for being AHs.
That’s on them. You feel like you broke a social contract by calling them out, but you were only in that position because they created an unbearably uncomfortable situation for everyone. I’d have done the exact same thing you did, only about two and a half months earlier.
OP responded:
I’m not proud of what I did and it’s hard to feel like saying something like that wasn’t douchey but I’m a grown man who has on occasion genuinely started crying at night due the frustration of not being able to sleep because of them and that’s crazy I don’t think that should be happening.
churchie-baby wrote:
NTA why go into the garden to scream at each other if the neighbours can hear them, their kids can too. Just separate jfc.
OP responded:
THAT’S WHAT I WAS THINKING. I’m almost positive they argue outside so their kids “don’t hear” because my sister has stated that during the day when their kids are at school she can hear them yelling at each other inside the house. My thing is, there’s no goddamn way their kids DON’T hear them hollering during the night if I can hear them in my house so what’s the point?
Artistic_Thought7309 wrote:
Do not apologize.
if any apology owed, they owe it to you, to all the other neighbours, and to their dogs as well. NTA and i hope your little snap has put them to earthly volumes for good.
Thx4allthefeesh wrote:
You did the right thing. Now they are aware that the neighborhood can hear all their problems. Back in the 90s…(last century, yikes) one of my coworkers had a similar problem. She bought a condo in a nice community. After awhile she discovered that the neighbors across the street would have loud arguments with the windows open.
The mom and daughter would scream and curse at each other at all times of day and night. One night after a long hard day, my coworker got sick of the noise and walked over to the neighbors house. She stood on the sidewalk and loudly repeated everything she heard back at the house.
Eventually, they both stopped shouting until the mom came out and started yelling at my coworker. “Why are you getting into our business? You have no right to get involved!”
My coworker responded, “The whole neighborhood knows your business! If you don’t want anyone else involved close the windows and shut up!” She was small but righteously angry and was not backing down. “I will do this every night if I hear you shouting again.” Last I heard, the mom and daughter calmed down a bit and closed their window.