Woman asks if kissing is cheating after BF kisses mutual friend at club and tells her.

About 63% of Americans say they have been cheated on in their lifetime. Now what constitutes cheating is different from person to person. Some people find sharing your most personal thoughts with another person to be cheating, while others see it only as getting physically intimate with another.

On a popular Reddit thread in the Am I Wrong Subreddit, a woman asks if she's wrong to consider kissing cheating.

She writes:

He's trying to convince me not to break up with him over this. I have moved out for now and can't think straight.

He kissed a woman that we both see socially sometimes. He had gone to a friend's birthday at a club, and that's where this happened. He said he walked straight out. He came home and immediately told me he was humiliated and sorry. He's been contacting me, begging me to go home, but I've told him to respect my boundaries and give me space.

Am I wrong to consider this bad enough to end a 5-year relationship? We were planning to get engaged later this year. Not sure what to do. My sister and friends say that he loves me very much and that I should forgive him.

OP added:

He went to the club because of the party but hates dancing. He said they were sitting at the reserved table and chatting before this happened. I haven't talked to the woman he kissed. She's more of an acquaintance than a friend, but we have several mutual friends. I think he's being honest because others who were there (a couple of his friends I'm also friends with) said the same thing about what happened.

Here are some of the most popular responses to OP's dilemma:

InvectiveDetective says:

You're not wrong. You don't have to forgive him. Everyone has different boundaries for what they consider cheating, but it sounds like you and your boyfriend consider kissing to be cheating.

So your sister should butt out. Don't listen to her telling you what you 'should' do right now. That will only foster resentment. Don't let her minimize this. You were betrayed, and you're allowed to feel that way.

It's in his favor that he stopped immediately. It's also in his favor that he came home and told you directly. Give yourself as much distance as you need right now. Eventually, I would talk to him.

Ask him if he's had feelings for this person. Ask him why he felt ok kissing her in front of your friends. Ask him if the only reason he stopped was because he was being watched. Ask him why he felt the need to get outside validation. And ask him how he'd feel if the tables were turned.

Listen to his responses. It's up to him to salvage your relationship now, not you. He might feel uncomfortable or ashamed. Good. He should sit with that for a minute.

He might try to rationalize this and minimize his actions. If he pressures you to forgive him quickly or sweeps the whole thing under the rug, that's pretty damning. It's entirely up to you to break up with him over it.

IAintChoosinThatName says:

Coming from someone in a relationship for a long time, this sounds like the exact response you want from your partner in these circumstances. The ones you can't trust are those that only get caught by accident and have hidden everything from you until then.

People are human and make mistakes, and in this case, his immediate response was, 'Oh my god, what the actual f%ck am I doing' and immediately left and told you.

Also, as hypocritical as this sounds, do NOT take advice from people on the internet. You will be hearing from bitter people, people who have never had serious relationships, people who have grown old together and share real worthwhile advice, literal kids trolling, relationship experts, AI bots, and people who will encourage you to break up no matter what.

Trying to figure out what is right amongst all of that is a challenging task. Do what you think is right; you probably know at this point if he is someone you trust.

jraa78 says:

The answer is, really can you forgive him or not? If the answer is, I forgive you, but I don't trust you, so you can't go to bars or get drunk without me, the relationship will be painful and eventually end. If you accept his apology and live life like before, then ok. Except for not seeing the girl he kissed again, I'd call that fair game.

So what do we think? Is kissing cheating?