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Woman gives sister 'meaningful' baby shower gift; sister calls her 'cheap.' AITA?

Woman gives sister 'meaningful' baby shower gift; sister calls her 'cheap.' AITA?

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Baby showers are a classic staple of shows of support for soon-to-be moms.

Sometimes though, they can be a hotbed of stress and frustration. Everyone wants to get the 'cute' gifts and not always the practical ones that might be more appreciated. One woman got in a heated fight after she didn't get the right gift for her sister's baby shower.

AITA for not buying my sister what was on her registry?

LoxerEss

I 29f have a sister 26f. She’s pregnant and recently had a baby shower. She had a registry of things she needed. I didn’t buy anything off of that though, I had ordered custom made onesies with my nieces name on it, and a changing pad.

I don’t have much money, I have a geriatric dog who costs a lot. I thought the gift I gave was cute and meaningful, and that she’d also be getting a lot of other gifts.

After the baby shower my sister pulled me aside and asked why I didn’t pick nothing out off her registry. I had said I saw those and thought they were cute and the registry is just a suggestion.

My sister got annoyed and said the registry is stuff they actually need and that I gave her useless things, then walked away. I guess she talked to my mom because my mom also said to me I should’ve just picked something from there because I know how my sister is and it would’ve helped her out.

I’m now upset because I was excited about my gift and wasn’t aware that the registry was so important.

People had a lot to say to the OP and A LOT of their own personal stories:

Wild_Butterscotch977

NTA. Registry IS just a suggestion. Gifts are supposed to be given freely and accepted graciously. She's acting entitled.

Steelguitarlane

NTA. A registry is a list of 'gimme these, please.' It's a thumb in the eye of the adage that 'beggars can't be choosers.' There's not a damn thing wrong with a gift chosen from the heart.

420POV13

Whatever happened to being grateful? A registry is a suggestion, in my opinion - under no circumstances is someone going to dictate what I want to purchase as a gift! I must be getting old because all of these rules and etiquette gift giving is BULLS**T! 100% NTA

Inconceivable44

ESH. As someone who received 3 vacuum cleaners at my bridal shower because people didn't bother to look at the registry, I also hate when people go off on their own. Showers are for people to get what they need, not what someone else thinks they should want.

Your sis is also an AH because of how she handled it. The correct response to a gift is thank you, not this is useless.

Similar_Pineapple418

ESH. You meant well, had the best of attentions but fell for the classic trap of buying baby stuff that’s for show not practicality. This definitely doesn’t make you a bad person and I struggled with the judgment here. Your sister was ungracious and a bit snotty sounding.

Imagine if you needed help with buying medication for your dog and your sister bought a personalized dog collar as her gift during the expensive time. Would you consider that helpful or just fanciful?

marquisdc

I’m going with minority opinion of soft YTA. Your sister put out a list of things she needed-not wanted-needed. I’m not sure why all the NTAs are ignoring that. It sounds like your sister put out a very specific list of things.

It’s like going to the store with a shopping list but you bring back eggplant instead of eggs because you know they love eggplant. It’s a nice thought but the recipe calls for eggs.

The other thing about your gift, is that it’s unreturnable, there’s a reason why every store has gift receipts even gifts given from the heart might need to be returned.

Not only that when your niece outgrows them your sister can’t save them for her next child or take them to one of those stores that allow you to exchange baby clothes. It might even be the case that they aren’t comfortable with having their child’s name on display.

If I went to the trouble of curating a list of things I need for my child and someone ignores it, I’d be irritated. The thing that cinches it for me is the mother’s response. OP says she didn’t know the registry was that important, but Mom clearly thought she should have known.

OP’s sister is clearly very particular about things, and that’s something OP should know. To me the polite thing to do would’ve been to call her and ask, hey is it okay if I got something off registry. I think you’re really going to like it. Your heart was in the right place, but your head wasn’t.

So what do you think? Is sticking to the registry proper etiquette or is a thoughtful gift just as good?

Sources: Reddit
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