Woman shocked when SIL breastfeeds her newborn, family says it's normal. AITA?
Breastfeeding is a very personal choice for every mother.
So, one woman was shocked to learn that her sister-in-law was breastfeeding her baby. She was completely caught off guard. Her husband didn't see any problem and said it was perfectly normal in his culture.
AITA for refusing to let my sister in law breastfeed my baby?
I 32f have a 2 month old baby. I went to training and left her with my partner. My netball training only takes an hour. On my way back from training I called my partner 33m to check in and see if my baby was okay.
He said she was fine and that they just got to my in laws place then said 'if baby cries I can just get my sister to breastfeed her' which I said no to because I wasn't comfortable with that and told him that's my bond with my baby.
He asked why not? And I just told him no. He then turned to his sister and said 'oh she said you can't' while I was still on the phone.
Apparently it's normal in their culture and I said that's fine but for mine it's not so it's a no. I had to go over there which then ended up being awkward because they both just assumed and decided between themselves that she could breastfeed my baby and then acted like I was being a b*tch for not letting her.
For context, I was pumping milk but my partner said to not worry about it, she would be fine. I was only about 20mins away. And no I don't know anything about my SIL's health history but this was not the reason why I said no. I just wasn't comfortable with the idea because it is not a norm for me but mainly because I consider it bonding time with my daughter.
My partner and I talked about it when we got home and he said he understood where I was coming from and that he was sorry he did not ask me first, they just thought since it was normal for them that it would be okay. Which is completely fine.
I told him it was the fact that he didn't ask me first which put me in an awkward situation that could have been avoided which was made worse by them saying she was hungry. I know when my child is hungry because of how she behaves and fusses. She was not hungry at all but tired and just wanted cuddles.
I don't know if I'm overreacting but that's just how I felt and I thought it was my right. AITA?
Here were the top comments from readers:
Someone else breastfeeding your baby is just...weird. NTA
Absolutely not, if I remember correctly breastfeeding is how mothers that are HIV positive pass the virus to their babies. I wouldn’t want my baby getting sick from drinking off of someone. 🤷🏽♀️
Yep. This used to be normal practice in my country. Some women would even go to orphanages to breastfeed children. But during the height of the HIV pandemic this practice was stopped and discouraged, due to the virus being transmitted easily through breastfeeding. So for health reasons, I wouldn’t allow it either.
NTA, breastfeeding is a very personal decision. Good for them if it's something they share in their culture but you have the final word on it.
NTA. It's one thing to offer, that's fine. It's a cultural thing. But when blending cultures you absolutely have to ask first.
NAH. I have shared nursing with a friend. There's nothing wrong with it and it's very normal in some cultures. But it's also absolutely your prerogative to decide if YOUR baby should be nursed by someone else.
I think the offense has been a misunderstanding where perhaps if it's normal in their culture they feel you'd only decline if you thought the other person was 'dirty' in some way. Which obviously isn't what you meant at all, you were just not familiar with or keen on the whole concept.