Man shuts down wife's list of 'tacky' baby names; says, 'these are for a child, not a dog.'
"AITA for rude and dismissive about all of my wife’s baby name ideas?"
My wife and I are expecting our first child in the coming months and we have chosen not to find out the sex until the baby is born. Things are starting to feel very real now so we’ve started to properly discuss names, but we’ve realized we both have vastly different tastes in name style and we are having a hard time finding the right one.
My wife likes names that are out there and unique but I find these names tacky and silly and would prefer a better-known, more traditional name. Last night she showed me a short list she had put together and thought I might like. The names on the list were:
Girl: Fern, Fennix, Rhodes, Faun, Brixtyn, and Kinley
Boy: Spark, Diesel, Quincy, Phoenix, Buck, and Fox
These names are tamer than what she’s suggested before, but I told her they didn’t feel right. I suggested ideas like Rose instead of Rhodes, Felix instead of Phoenix, and Buchanan instead of Buck. I finally snapped when she suggested Zoomer. I asked if she was serious and said it was a stupid name.
She asked what my problem was and why I was so dismissive of all her ideas and shooting down all the names she likes. I told her we were naming a child and not a dog, and that names can have a huge impact on the child. I said I don’t want my child to be bu!!ied or taken less seriously because they have a ridiculous name.
She told me I was rude and that I was the bully for making her feel unsupported. She started crying and went to bed. I decided to give her some time and space so waited till she was sleeping to go to bed. I feel bad about coming at her the way I did, but I also feel it needed to be said.
The internet did not hold back.
AdOne8433 wrote:
NTA. So many people naming their kids like a 9-year-old naming a goldfish or a valley girl naming a pocket dog. Unfortunately, it indicates that the parent considering these names does not see the child as a person, but as a thing, an amusing accessory to show all her fans how cool she is. This is the first of many battles for the identity and autonomy of your child.
Technical_Rooster_39 wrote:
The best piece of advice on baby naming that I remember from one of the parenting books was, 'If you can't imagine yourself shouting this name across a crowded playground, do not give it to your child.' Best of luck. NTA.
Purjevene wrote:
Those names are a Tragedeigh. NTA, I hope you find a nice compromise that the child would also possibly like.
IamIrene wrote:
NTA in general but this is tricky territory, and when you treat her badly you slip straight into AH territory. You are definitely looking out for your child here, and your wife isn't thinking about the bullying these 'unique' names will bring your child. When my husband and I were playing the 'name game,' part of the rules was to also think of what kind of taunts those names could turn into.
Buck is an easy one to dismiss because it's one letter off from 'F#%k.' 'F#$ky Bucky', doesn't that sound like a great nickname? Lol. I think you'll find the perfect name but give her suggestions serious consideration like you expect her to give yours, then you can both play the name game and see how many awful nicknames might come out of them.
At least you'll be prepared and perhaps your wife will think a little bit more about what your child might have to endure depending on the name you both choose.
AnonymousPuffin222 wrote:
I want to say N A H but those names are just terrible, so NTA. You seem to be looking for compromises and she's not. It sucks that it came out this way, but she doesn't seem to be getting how much you dislike her suggestions. Unfortunately, baby names are a situation where a parent has veto power.
I think your suggestions are reasonable and could lend themselves to a nickname that's her style without being the legal name. Could you be more flexible with a middle name?
OP is definitely NTA for his name feelings, although it sounds like they need to have a serious conversation so they can come to a compromise.