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Sibling drops toddler nephew off with grandparents after being forced to babysit.

Sibling drops toddler nephew off with grandparents after being forced to babysit.

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Being expected to babysit a family member's kids doesn't always end well.

While it's ideal for a family to act as 'the village' for each other, everyone has their own work schedules and life stresses. So assuming a sibling can take your kid without truly asking isn't always going to work out.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a person asked if they're wrong for dropping their nephew off with their parents after being forced to babysit.

They wrote:

AITA for dumping my sister's toddler onto our parents and refusing to babysit?

I ('Liya' 26NB they/them) have a sister 'Risa' (30F) who has a 2-year-old kid (2M) with her husband 'Chris' (34M).

I adore my nephew. I live apart from my family but in the same city, so I visit every other weekend/whenever my schedule allows. I have babysat my nephew before (usually weekends) – always in my sister's home.

The other day, my sister messaged me that she, BIL, and kid were on the way to my apartment. A bit out of the blue, but maybe they're headed somewhere and stopping by to say hi.

However, when I answered my door, my sister began hurriedly explaining that they need someone to watch the kid while they go to their doctor's appointments and I'm their 'only option.'

Problems:

- I’m self-employed WFH but juggle 3 clients/jobs with time-sensitive deadlines

- I have ADHD so I hyperfocus, meaning I might not notice something wrong with my nephew if I'm working

- My tiny apartment is not childproof in any way

- I'm only just starting to recover from an infection

(My sister knows all of this.)

I try to explain that I can’t watch the kid. My sister overrides me and says our brother is teaching and our (retired) parents specifically requested time off from helping with their grandchild. Sister + BIL really need to get to the hospital so they need me to do this. After a firm thank you, they leave. Attempt not to panic failed successfully.

I send my sister several messages re: any alternatives and she replies again that she's really sorry but I'm their best option. It's only 6 hours at most and she'll make it up to me.

I text my mom and after a while she replies saying she and my dad 'need a break' from watching the kid, so they'll be taking the afternoon to catch up on Netflix. I don't text my brother because I know he's in class. No permission from sister re: daycare + scared to leave a two-year-old in daycare anyway. So I booked a taxi and went over to my parents' place.

They were NOT happy when I showed up with nephew but I said I had work, was still sick, and their house is much better equipped for a 2-year-old than my place. My mom sorta made a face and huffed but took my nephew.

I went back home to work. Later in the day my sister sends a barrage of texts scolding me for being 'irresponsible' with her child and 'inconveniencing' my parents.

For her, I could have 'made the sacrifice' for 'just a few hours' and it was an AH move to do what I did. Her husband also sent a text that he was 'disappointed' with how I handled the situation and 'expected better' of me.

Then my mom sent several texts saying they're angry with me for 'ruining' their day because they'd specifically said they didn't want to watch my nephew.

To me, I had enough justification not to babysit my nephew, but my family is labeling me the AH for my actions. Was I wrong to decide how I did? AITA for dumping my nephew on my parents?

The jury of the internet swooped in with verdicts.

mdthomas wrote:

You don't need to apologize to anyone. This was not an emergency. Your sister knew exactly what she was doing.

Your parents are likely upset because she has been abusing their help. While they are understandably upset, they should be upset with your sister, not you. Not your child, not your responsibility. NTA.

Weak_Construction_85 wrote:

NTA poor planning and extreme entitlement on their part does not mean you should drop everything and serve them.

I hope you don't apologize and nor pay heed to your sister or parents. If they wish to have you babysit they need to tell you beforehand and accept the answer might be no.

1800TurdFerguson wrote:

You are NTA. Your sister and BIL are the AHs, the type who think faaaaaamily excuses all sorts of boundary-violating behavior. You had a valid reason for not watching your nephew, but guess what?

You don’t need a reason other than “I don’t want to “. The phrase “That doesn’t work for me” is vague and impersonal enough to hopefully not start a war with someone who is reasonable.

With someone who isn’t reasonable, it doesn’t give them a toehold to argue why your reason isn’t valid (to them). Alternately, just stop answering the phone or door. If they’re honestly dumb enough to leave their child outside your door, they deserve to have CPS called on them.

NTA. Your sister is the AH here. I would inform your sister via email that you're not available for babysitting and if she shows up on your doorstep again with your nephew or attempts to leave him in your custody, you will call the police.

avocadosdontbite wrote:

Harsh, but it sounds like she is just dumping the kid on whatever family member she can find. Your parents have had enough so she's moving on to you.

You may have to follow through with this, but letting her know in advance what you're going to do gives her fair warning. Also, now that you know she intends to dump the kid with you, do not open the door to her if you see her on the doorstep with the kid.

Also another harsh but sad consequence of her actions. She might be willing to leave him in your apartment, but it's less likely she'll leave him on the front stoop and if she does, again, you immediately call 9-1-1. I would also get a RING camera if possible and tell her you are installing it.

Obviously, OP isn't TA here, but their sister is a giant one.

Sources: Reddit
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