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Teen refuses to watch baby sibling after school, parents call her 'incredibly selfish.'

Teen refuses to watch baby sibling after school, parents call her 'incredibly selfish.'


Standing up to your parents as a teenager can lead to some deeply unpleasant consequences. But for some kids, it's well worth it, especially when it means they're asserting a boundary that will follow them into adulthood. Sadly, the parents don't always see it the same way.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a teen asked if she's wrong for telling her parents she won't babysit her younger sibling for them as requested.

She wrote:

AITA for telling my parents I won't be their live-in babysitter or take care of my baby sibling for them?

I (16 F) am an only child and that position will be expiring in October when my parents have their second child. They were always supposed to be one and done with me, something I was aware of was partly due to them finding childcare ridiculously expensive and mom enjoying her job too much to stay home.

I think another part of it they are not very natural parents and are pretty much entirely hands-off. We never do anything as a family and they are not very involved in my life. They pay for stuff and that is their contribution to my life. The pregnancy was a big shock for them, and for me.

I heard them discussing wtf they would do and my mom was repeatedly saying she was not going to stay at home and she was not going to take much maternity leave. That she wants to be back at work ASAP. They complained about how much it will cost to get someone to watch the baby while they work and during the summers and stuff. I heard them mention me and I was like oh hell no.

They sat me down a week ago and told me they had these plans for me to watch the baby for 3-4 hours after school until they get home from work. It would involve quitting all my after-school stuff and not hanging out with friends after school either. They also want me to stay home next summer and to consider hanging around to be there for the next few summers.

I was like no way. They told me I am going to be a big sister now and that as part of the family I have responsibilities. I told them THEY had responsibilities as parents and I am not a parent, I am the child in their house. They told me not for long. I said I could just rush to graduation and leave so they can't use me as free childcare.

I don't think they expected these reactions from me or the thought I had put into it. After I heard them talk with each other I found out I could graduate in December by talking to my guidance counselor. I'm almost finished my junior year now and could finish senior year early with the grades I keep and the work I do. That is definitely the most appealing option to me and I'll be 17 in a couple of weeks anyway.

My parents were really unhappy with me and they told me I am going to miss out on so much by doing this. I told them I won't take care of or raise the baby for them. That I have my own life and being stuck with a baby is not part of it. They told me I am being incredibly selfish and to think about what I am throwing away. They also said I won't be a very good sister if I refuse to be part of the baby's life. AITA?

People weighed in with all of their thoughts.

linkheroz thinks OP is fully within her rights:

NTA. At all. They want you to be a live in nanny and raise their child that they don't want.

And OP responded:

Yep. That's how it feels to me. They can't be any clearer that they really don't want this baby. I often suspected they were like that with me. So maybe it's time to consider adoption since they clearly don't want to be parents to their kids.

innoventvampyre had a lot to say:

NTA. My mom has always been a single mom, and much like yours very emotionally absent. when I was 6, she went to a sperm donor just because she wanted another kid. She had twins, and i got that same 'big sister responsibilities talk.'

Long story short, I lost my entire childhood to helping raise my siblings. I'm 20 now, the damage done to all of us is irreversible. All that being said, you're absolutely right. That baby is THEIR responsibility and you are entitled to your entire childhood.

OP jumped on to respond and empathize:

I'm sorry. I will never understand people who don't want to be around their kids wanting to have kids or not stopping themselves from having kids. It doesn't do anyone any good.

PastIsPrologue22 wrote:

Tell them that if you wanted a baby at 16, you would have gotten pregnant yourself - and that's still an option. Watch their reaction.

aeroeagleAC emphasized the ridiculousness of OP's parents demands:

NTA and that is a ridiculous amount of time daily. They are parents. Time to figure their own s**t out.

And OP jumped on to agree and expand her thoughts:

Honestly, they should probably look at the options they have available to them also. Sometimes I feel like they would have been happier overall if they had placed me for adoption when I was younger.

Maybe that would be something to do now for this baby. Neither wants to take care of the baby, neither wants to pay the money for someone else to do it, they already resent the idea of having to do either option. It's not the baby's fault any more than it was mine when I was born.

OP is NTA through and through. The main hope here, is that the baby gets put up for adoption so they don't have to grow up neglected by both parents.

Sources: Reddit
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