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Woman won't let BFF's daughter keep her expensive crafting 'toys'; gets ghosted. AITA?

Woman won't let BFF's daughter keep her expensive crafting 'toys'; gets ghosted. AITA?


No good deed goes unpunished. Unfortunately, this still applies when you're doing a good deed for a friend in need. The gap between what you think might be a nice gesture, and what others expect, can be massive and full of tension. This applies exponentially if people's kids are thrown into the mix.

Luckily, the all-knowing court of the internet is always here to assess and judge a situation from all angles.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for not leaving her crafting supplies with her best friend's daughter.

She wrote:

AITA for not sharing my “toys” with my best friend’s daughter?

So my (31F) best friend “Riley” (31F) recently just got a part-time job after several years of staying home with her daughter “Ella” (6F). She and her husband “Joe” (34M) haven’t been able to get the childcare situation totally sorted out and needed a babysitter last Saturday, so I agreed to watch Ella for the day while Riley was at work.

I've been sort of the 'cool aunt' ever since Ella was born. I typically will bring small gifts or activities whenever I know that I will be seeing her, which isn't all that often. Ella is a smart and engaged kid and I like to give her things that will interest her and keep her occupied. One important piece of information here is that I'm a very crafty person.

I have a small online store and also work with local businesses for selling and distributing small batches of my product - hand painted wooden figurines. I thought it might be fun to introduce Ella into my hobby/business, so I ended up bringing 10 unpainted figurines to choose from, a few tubes of acrylic paint, and some paint brushes.

We immediately got to work and Ella was so into it. She had an absolute blast painting her turtle figurine. But when it came time for me to leave, I started packing up all of my supplies and Ella became visibly upset. Riley insisted that I leave the supplies behind so that Ella could keep and play with them.

I disagreed, and basically said that I have no obligation to give away any of my belongings. I personally feel like I was more than generous by babysitting Ella on my day off (I do have a regular 9-5 job as well) and providing a fun activity for her.

Riley pointed out that I have a pretty large stock of items at home, which is true, but still - letting Ella keep the supplies and figurines would've been a loss in profit for my business. Ella cried when I didn't let her keep any of the stuff and Riley argued that I should have never brought “toys” over if I wasn't willing to let Ella keep them.

Now Riley hasn't been responding to any of my messages or calls and I can only assume she's still angry over this whole thing. I thought I was doing something nice by babysitting and providing a fun activity. AITA for not letting Ella keep my crafting supplies?

EDIT: Just clarifying that I DID let Ella keep the one completed turtle figurine that she painted herself. Everything else I took back home with me.

Ella didn’t beg me to let her keep the supplies or anything. As I was packing up she just looked confused and asked why I was taking those things back with me. I do feel bad because she obviously misunderstood and thought I’d be leaving them there for her.

She started to get teary-eyed and eventually started to cry while her mother and I discussed it further. It wasn’t an entitled or bratty cry, it was more like a disappointed 6-year-old that wasn’t able to hold back years.

People jumped in with their thoughts.

xopranaut wrote:

NTA. Does Riley start dismantling the swings when she leaves the playground?

AffectionateYoung300 wrote:

Solid NTA. Crafting supplies like paints and brushes are expensive, not to mention that everything you brought is used for your online business. Tell Riley where she can buy supplies for Ella, but I wouldn’t have left any of those supplies behind, either. They’re not “toys.” They’re inventory for your business.

brokenhousewife_ wrote:

NTA. The kid is understandable in crying, that's just what six-year-olds do. The mom is supposed to explain how we were lucky to use them and how wonderful it is. Not act like the six-year-old.

RiriTomoron wrote:

NTA. Your friend is using you. 'Fun auntie' is way too often code for 'free childcare'.

'Oh but thinks of you as her fun auntie! Won't you come and spend some time with her?'

No. Not unless you're there. Because then it's childcare, and that's a job.'

Bookssportsandwine wrote:

NTA, completely. Why do I have a feeling that your friend will suddenly forgive you when she needs you to babysit again?

Clearly, OP is incredibly far from being TA, she's a generous friend who might need to draw new boundaries.

Sources: Reddit
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