Woman won't watch stepdaughter after getting yelled at for helping her with first period.

Being a stepparent can be incredibly hard, particularly if you're stepping in the middle of a contentious co-parenting situation.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for refusing to take care of her stepdaughter after she got an earful from her BF's ex. She wrote:

"AITA for refusing to take care of my stepdaughter?"

My (28F) live-in boyfriend (32M) has a daughter (11F) with his ex (30F). I call her my stepdaughter even though I’m not legally married to her father, because for all purposes we live together. She lives with her mother during the week and spends the weekends with us. However, her father occasionally has to work on Saturdays and I take care of her by myself.

Last weekend she got her first period while she was out with me, so I helped her and explained how things worked and so on. I later found out her mother was LIVID - because she called my boyfriend and gave him an earful – that I didn’t immediately call her, because she would pick her daughter up.

As the mother she was the one that had to be with her daughter during her first period and I took this away from her. What bothered me the most is that my boyfriend didn’t defend me, which he says was because he didn’t want to start an argument and make an already difficult relationship with his ex even trickier.

So I told him I won’t take care of their daughter by myself anymore if I’m to get blamed for whatever decision I make while I'm with her, and if he has to work on a Saturday, then he should get her only on Sunday or change the visitation arrangement. AITA here?

People jumped in with all of the thoughts.

baka-tari wrote:

Stepdaughter was fortunate to have a caring adult around who could help her through a stressful experience - nice that you could be there for her. That said, if your boyfriend isn't going to bat for you against his ex's weird demands, you're in for a world of hurt for every other "first" that stepdaughter experiences while she's alone with you.

If the only way your boyfriend understands this is because he feels the pain of his inaction, so be it. NTA to hold him accountable.

SheiB123 wrote:

NTA. Her mother is being ridiculous. The child was cared for and even educated in a sensitive manner. The fact that he allowed her to complain and agreed with her without defending you means he just lost his free babysitter.

beautifulcopper wrote:

NTA. This kind of thing is likely to happen again in the future, so it is better to extract yourself politely from the free babysitting duty. Also, what is the point of visitation if the father is not available? You did the right thing.

Rhuthbarb wrote:

Good for you. NTA. He doesn't get to use you for free babysitting and then let you get blamed for making appropriate decisions while doing so. That said...I think if I were with a girl who got her period, I'd help her out and then ask her if she wants to call her mom. But then again, she probably has a phone and always knew she could.

Which may mean that she was embarrassed and didn't want to make a big deal of it, which means you did the right thing and the mom isn't thinking about her daughter, but about herself.

OP is NTA here, she's simply standing her ground after being taken advantage of.