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'My boyfriend told me he wants me to be a “traditional wife” out of nowhere…'

'My boyfriend told me he wants me to be a “traditional wife” out of nowhere…'


"My boyfriend told me he wants me to be a “traditional wife” out of nowhere…"


My boyfriend told me he wants me to be a “traditional wife” out of nowhere…

… so I did what I thought was appropriate and broke up with him.

So a little back ground. We’re both 26. College educated. Both goal oriented and regarded highly in our respective careers. Both come from lower middle class families that had to STRUGGLE.

Nonetheless we both agree we wanted to have children, but we would wait until we are in our 30’s and married for a couple years before the first child. I’m not sure if his mindset is due to a quarter life crisis but he’s been having severe baby fever. Always sending me baby videos and traditional wife videos while I’m at work.

I thought it was cute at first because it just looked to me like he was envisioning our future together and I didn’t think too much about it. I asked him one day while we we were at dinner what that was all about.

He told me he really doesn’t want us to both be working parents and would love for me to be a traditional wife and give up my career for raising children. And here’s the kicker he said within the next couple years!

He said he wants to get married and have kids before we are “30 and old”. I laughed so hard at this because I genuinely thought he was joking. He’s never said anything so dumb I swear. He wasn’t joking though. He was serious. And he doubled down on it and said that’s what he’s looking for now and he hopes I’m ok with the “change of plans”. Like WTF.

I didn’t say anything for the rest of the dinner and when he dropped me off at MY apartment I gave him a peck on the cheek and said “I love you but we’re done, good luck finding your traditional wife”.

I could hear him speaking when I shut the door. He just rolled down the window and said “Wtf does that mean?” I kept walking and when I got inside I blocked him on everything.

3 years down the drain just like that. He didn’t frame anything like I had any choice and it was just too disgusting and degrading. I didn’t even feel like arguing. Everything he said just gave me the ick of all icks.

He can find someone who wants what he wants because I’m not changing for him. I want to work, I want to wait on kids, i want to get married, we have to actually LIVE together for a bit too like wtf. I just want to stick to the plans we had.

I talked to some friends and they think I was too harsh on him. I did what I did because I don’t want to be manipulated into changing my entire life for him. I know he could convince me and I can’t risk it, forget that.

He’s great but I would never be fully dependent on any man. That’s the reason my family was BROKE and I’m breaking the cycle. And I just don’t want to do a 360 and be barefoot and pregnant in a couple years.

I’m just not ready. He just seemed so entitled and didn’t ASK me what I wanted the whole time he was ranting. Was it out of character? Yes… but do I have time to waste on this nonsense?

No. Maybe I’m cold but I feel like I made the right decision. He has been reaching out for closure and possible reconciliation though through an old email I forgot about…. Ugh…Share your thoughts and be kind please.

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:


OP, you were not "too harsh." You want different things and he wants you to "change" for him. Nope. Too many "trad wives" get screwed over when their husband's decide they're ready for a new model.

I am curious if he was recently turned onto some sort of BS podcasts or SM folk who promote that "trad wife" BS. Others may not agree with me, but I think you're brave AF to stand up against this and state that you get a say and autonomy. You are a ROCKSTAR, OP.

The OP responded here:


Honesty the only podcasts he talks to me about are philosophize this, Joe Rogan, and one other one about health I don’t remember the title. I don’t know what to think. Maybe he has been into those red pill podcasts and I just never knew.

He probably hid that facet of himself because he knows I am very comfortable calling him out on BS. And he knows I’m a first wave feminist… like specifically!! I literally thought I was being pranked because he knows where I stand on everything and turns out he apparently thinks like all the men I’ve been trying to AVOID.

I talk about women’s issues 24/7 😭😭 thank you for this comment I definitely don’t feel like a rockstar! I’m honestly heartbroken and have not been able to stop crying about it. I thought I had my future planned and set and it really motivated me now I’m at ground zero again. I’m pizzed, sad, disgusted, everything…


He's watching some crazy podcasts. You 100% did the right thing. If you were my daughter, I would tell you how freaking proud I am of you. Good luck, and don't take nonsense from anyone.


You're not crazy. This guy has swallowed too many red pills and is heading down the alt right rabbit hole. He's becoming one of those "alpha males" You did the right thing.


Coming from a male perspective: you’re not too harsh and I believe you did the right as it’s disrespectful to your career as well as your understanding of the relationship as it had been for 3 years.

Wife and I are early 30s, career oriented, met in law school. I wouldn’t ask her to give up her career and start having kids. She put hard work and sacrificed for her career. It’s definitely possible to find a partner who can respect those things.

He probably got some weird ideas from social media leading to him springing this all on you out of nowhere. Doesn’t mean it’s okay. If he’s that easily influenced or can have a change of heart that unexpectedly it means that deep down those are his views and it won’t just go away.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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