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Woman withholds wedding photos after bride and 'friends' gossip and reach out to her ex.

Woman withholds wedding photos after bride and 'friends' gossip and reach out to her ex.


There's nothing like the deep sting of betrayal, especially from people that you thought were your good friends. In moments of betrayal, it's hard to know how to act.

Do you immediately retaliate and try to comfort yourself with revenge? Do you treat them well to highlight just how petty and cruel they've been towards you? Do you ghost and cut ties in the least confrontational way to preserve a sense of peace?

There's truly no one-size-fits-all answer, everyone is going to have a different response depending on your personality and circumstances.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for withholding wedding photos from a 'friend' after finding out she was betrayed.

She wrote:

AITA (F37) for not giving a former friend (F42) her wedding pictures I took after learning she had betrayed me?

A friend from church was getting married, didn't invite me to the wedding, but she ordered cookies as her wedding favors from my bakery and she invited me to the wedding party dinner. At the dinner, she said she didn't have a photographer. I was formerly a pro wedding photographer for 10 years. Before I could stop myself I offered to gift her my services and photograph her wedding.

She tearfully and happily accepted. Wedding day: she demanded I stay for the wedding reception intimate dinner. Her dad said his camera was better than mine and he didn't know what I was doing there anyways. The bride complained every time I asked her to pose in beautiful natural light and said she didn't see the point because she would never care about her wedding photos anyways.

It was a weird day! I heard nothing from her after the wedding for a few weeks - then suddenly she invited me to a Christmas party. I told her I'd bring her photos. She told me the party was cancelled 2 hours before the start, and I later learned I was actually disinvited (the party happened without me). The bride ghosted me for 3 months after this. Then she popped up demanding her wedding photos.

BUT in those 3 months I learned she and our mutual female friends were taking / texting nasty things about me behind my back. 'The only thing she's good for is her cooking' 'she only offered to photograph the wedding because she's desperate for friends' etc.

Then I learned the gaggle of women actually reached out to my former abuser - who'd I escaped in 2020 and moved across the country and changed my name to gain safety. My abuser called my actual best friend to have her warn me my 'new friends were trying to sabotage me.'

They told him where I was. He used this a way to TRY and draw me back to him and to him and he faked concern to try and manipulate my friend into giving him more information about me. His efforts failed. I had disappeared brilliantly, until these malevolent women called him.

(There's also possible that my abuser was genuinely upset that someone was trying to sabotage me because historically he didn't like when I was wrong by other people, but he had no problem with his own abuse towards me. If you have never been abused I don't expect you to understand this).

They did sabotage me and still do. They deliberately sabotaged two jobs I was hired for and as of recent a wholesale account I had for my bakery as of 2023. They went to my wholesaler and lied - saying I don't have a real bakery and it's all baked in my home kitchen. Now! The bride is thwarting my membership at church because I still haven't given her the photos.

Seems I will get approved regardless of her efforts to sabotage after I shared these details with an elder who agrees I was betrayed/hurt. I realized I was being bullied - badly so - and used - and deeply betrayed- so I didn't feel the need to fulfill my obligation to her. After all her dad took photos so she has wedding photos. But AITA for not giving her the photos I took?

The internet didn't hold back their thoughts on this one.

blanketstatement5 wrote:

Jesus christ. These women are so bad that your abusive ex wanted to warn you about them? NTA, but also you might want to look into suing them for defamation with regards to the job issue.

aworte wrote:

NTA. You did her a favor because you thought she was a friend. She wasn't and doesn't deserve the favor/ gift anymore. End of story. BTW I'm glad you're out of the abusive situation and hope you can find some genuine support in the future OP.

Any-Strawberry-9395 wrote:

NTA but you need to take back your power. Yet again we have 'church people' being sh#$%y humans. You need to draw on the strength you found to leave your ex and use that here. They aren't just being insert bad word personally that are now interfering in your livelihood. Invite your wholesaler to your business so they can see it was a lie. Stand up for yourself.

little_pinata wrote:

Have you ever heard of the theory that 'bullies pick on people who wish they were included in their circle?'

These women sound absolutely horrid. The less contact you have with them (and who cares what they say, they pick a new victim every week), the better off you'll be.

You really shouldn't let people treat you like this. Abusers pick people who can't say no. You owe them NOTHING. And please, never ever do them any favors at all. if ANYONE ever makes you feel uncomfortable, ever again, simply walk away. Life is too short to be made to feel like dog s#$t being stepped all over by narcissists.

sjw_7 wrote:

NTA. Photoshop a few of them and make changes to the way she looks such as hair, weight, dress etc so she looks totally different (not in a flattering way) and then send those through to her.

These women are all wretched and don't deserve one more second of OP's time.

Sources: Reddit
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