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Woman loses it, tells off mother-in-law for insisting she be at child's birth.

Woman loses it, tells off mother-in-law for insisting she be at child's birth.


I (27 F) am married to my husband (28M), call him Valentin, for 3 years now, being together for 10 years. We are really happy and to make that perfect we are expecting the first of our two wanted babies in about two to three weeks.

My relationship to MIL is quite good. I don’t feel like she is a second mother to me, but I really like her and spending time with her. Also normally she is a really sweet and nice person, and luckily none of those Monster in Laws you her about.

But truth is she sometimes makes me a bit uneasy. Just the vibe she gives me (despite her being nice) makes me uneasy and uncomfortable when I am stressed or tired sometimes.

With the due date coming closer she approached me and asked in which hospital “we would deliver”. I told her the name of the hospital I would deliver in, if everything was going accordig to plan.

Then she asked who would be there with me and I told her that I would take my mom, my best friend (who is a delivery nurse/midwife, just there for medical support) and Valentin (as soon as he can come to me when labor starts).

She seemed to be really hurt and asked why I didn’t chose her to be in the room. I told her that I did not want her there because it is intimate and we are not that type of close.

She seemed to be hurt even more and asked if she at least was allowed to meet her grandbaby directly after delivery, if she is not allowed in the room while I give birth. And that it would be good to bond (join me in the delivery as well as being there after the delivery, me and MIL).

I denied again because after giving birth I want to have just a little time to adjust with only Valentin, Baby and me. About two to three weeks after delivery she is welcome to meet the baby.

She then told me I was rude and that she did so much for me and I was being disrespectful to not allow her these moment with my grandchild, while allowing my mom and my best friend to be a part of it. How sad it made her.

I flipped because I felt pressured and told her to f**k off. That it was me giving birth and I did not want to use that time to bond with her while pushing out a baby from my vagina.

Some people think I should allow her to be part of that special moment and that I was the AH, some say I am in the right and NTA.

'Internet, what do you say?'

Edits for clarification:

What did she do to make me say 'f**k off'? I felt pressured and not respected with her wanting to being there in the room or right after delivery and with her telling me that I withhold moments of bonding between her and me, and between her and the baby.

My Mom will come with me because due to work my husband will probably not be there for early stages of labor and I don’t want to be alone.

Why she can’t come for 30 minutes right after the delivery? Since I am no Filmstar I will probably look/be exhausted sweaty and tired after giving birth. In this state I don’t want to see people. Also I will be exhausted and in pain.

My mum leaves when my husband shows up in the delivery room. She will also have to wait to see the baby for 2-3 weeks if he shows up in time.

EVERYBODY has to wait 2-3 weeks before meeting our baby (my husband's idea). The only person who probably will see her before that is the food delivery guy 😂 when I carry her around and he brings us food..

Some said I should FaceTime with MIL. This is an idea I'll keep in mind if due to work my husband doesn’t get their in time and my mum sees the baby.

Top comments:


Why do people constantly need to be reminded that giving birth is not a spectator sport? NTA


I agree with the delivery room part. I don't agree she should have to wait 2-3 weeks.


I actually agree with you, and I just can't understand the mindset. I can't imagine what it takes to deliberately refuse to allow the grandparents to meet your child for two to three weeks.


NTA. Your BF is a medical provider, so she doesn’t count.

I can see both sides on the 2-3 week wait before meeting the baby IF she is willing to abide by normal health rules/boundaries there (like washing hands etc.)


NTA I would have hubby tell her that you were shocked by her behavior, 8.5 mo pregnant and hormones are high, you regret the f bomb but it doesn't change the answer and she's trying to make the birth about her. Back off Mom before she's ruins the relationship.

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