Someecards Logo
'I was invited to my twin sister’s surprise party as a guest. I don’t want to go.' UPDATED

'I was invited to my twin sister’s surprise party as a guest. I don’t want to go.' UPDATED


While most people aren't clamoring to share a birthday with a sibling, it's a completely different story for twins.

In a popular post on the Advice subreddit, a teen asked if she's wrong for not wanting to go to her twin sister's surprise party as a guest. She wrote:

"I was invited to my twin sister’s surprise party as a guest, and I don’t know if I want to go."

I am F17 and have an identical twin sister. We are quite different when it comes to personality. She is more extroverted, always had many friends from various groups, while I am more introverted, have always been geekier, and prefer a smaller, closer circle of friends. We don’t share many common friends, except for a few from our childhood at a different school.

Our birthday is next Saturday, and yesterday, one of my sister’s friends sent me a message inviting me to my sister’s surprise party. I was confused because obviously, we share the same birthday, so I asked if I could also celebrate mine there, inviting a few of my friends as well.

She replied that the party would be held in the party hall of her building, and it wasn’t possible to invite everyone, but I could bring two of my friends. She later messaged saying they would only buy one cake, but I could bring my own and have a separate birthday song after my sister’s. Today, she added me to the party’s WhatsApp group, which already includes 47 people (myself included).

Even though we’re very different, my sister and I have a great relationship and have always dreamed of celebrating our 18th birthday together. We had plans to go out with our childhood friends to a bar in the evening and drink a lot. Today, I found out that our childhood friends are also in the party group, and I messaged them about our plans.

They said they liked the idea of the surprise party, thought my sister would love it, and are trying to get me excited about it too. The issue is, I’m not keen on the party idea. It’s going to be crowded, and I won’t be able to spend time with my sister the way I wanted. I might come off as spoiled, but I feel like an afterthought, and this is not how I want to spend my birthday.

I’d prefer to spend it with my own group of friends. But I also know that my sister would be very disappointed if I didn’t attend the party. I don’t want to spoil the surprise for her, so I don’t want to tell her what’s happening. I’m at a loss about what to do; I spoke to my parents, but their advice didn’t help…I just don’t know what to do.

Redditors had a lot to say in response.

alissa2579 wrote:

This is BS. Don’t go and enjoy the time with your friends. Get screenshots of the shifty messages for when your sister is upset you didn’t go - her friends will most likely lie about it. I’m surprised you and your sister haven’t spoken already about birthday plans. Is there a reason?

OP responded:

We’ve already made plans to go to a bar with our childhood friends. My sister believes she’s spending the afternoon with her friend who’s planning the party, then coming home to prepare for the bar. However, her friend plans to “accidentally” leave the birthday gift behind, so they’ll need to swing by her place for her to give it to my sister – and then, SURPRISE!!

Girls4super wrote:

What about all the people waiting at the bar? Or are they all in on it and the bar is a lie entirely? I’m also a twin and would be so so hurt if everyone wanted to celebrate my twin and not me. It’s rude, degrading, and just plain mean. They could surprise her on a different day if they’re mostly her friends and not yours.

OP responded:

The friends planning the party are not my friends. They invited our childhood friends since they know they are friends with my sister. Our childhood friends liked the idea of the surprise party and are trying to hype me up to go to. The bar was a concrete plan until her friend planned the surprise party. It’s just…with the bar we would be among friends we both like and would be celebrated equally.

At the party It’s going to be 90% my sisters friends. I will still have my childhood friends and the 2 friends that they let me invite. I might sound very spoiled and immature but I feel like I would be an afterthought and “forgot” at the party. It just feels very weird to me.

SadWispMother wrote:

You only turn 18 once, enjoy it how YOU want to enjoy it. Don’t make yourself uncomfortable just to appease everyone else. Your sister will get past it, maybe you guys could do something before the party together or after.

Madman246489 wrote:

I, as someone who has a twin, would tell my sister. She should know how her friends are acting and to be honest no matter what you do. It's most likely going to cause a conflict.

Either you're going to be upset (of you go), or she's gonna be upset (if you aren't there), if you tell your twin it'll make some of the friends upset BUT it's your birthday. It's not about them. You both already had plans, and they can't just change that. So i would just tell her!

After receiving lots of support, OP jumped on with an update two days later.

So Saturday, I was feeling anxious by the birthday plans, and I was crying in the kitchen. My mom noticed and came over to comfort me. When I told her I was upset about the party, she decided to tell me the truth: the party was actually a surprise for me as well, and all my friends were invited too. Yesterday I called Melissa, the friend organizing the party, and she confirmed what my mom had said.

Melissa explained that she wanted to spend my sister’s birthday with her, especially since she might be moving away for college soon. She knew we had plans to celebrate our birthday with each other and our childhood friends, who are our only mutual friends. So, she had the idea to arrange a surprise party with everyone, including my friends.

She told this idea to our childhood friends, my friends, and my parents, and the all approved. Melissa had already figured out how to get my sister to the party (she’s going to spend the afternoon with her and pretend she left her gift at home). But she struggled to find a way to bring me there without spoiling the surprise, since we are not friends.

Her solution was to make it seem like the party was only for my sister, limiting me to bringing just two friends, who would actually be in on the plan. It all made sense now, especially why our childhood friends hyping me up to go to the party. She told me she didn’t think things through and didn’t realize how hurt I would be by this situation. She apologized for it.

She thought it would be a nice surprise and she didn’t want me to suspect the party was for me too. I must admit, it wasn’t how I envisioned spending my 18th birthday, but I’ve warmed up to the idea. I’m excited now.

Redditors were so happy to hear the positive update.

Shenaniboozle wrote:

Wow, I'm really happy for you! When I read your first post, I couldn't believe it, total, "what the hell is wrong with people?" But this, this is much better. Still totally unamused on your behalf over them letting you dangle like that.

mojovi88 wrote:

Oh my gosh, that makes so much more sense. I'm shocked we didn't think of that for you. Of course your childhood friends weren't going to urge you to waste your birthday. 🤦‍♀️ I'm so happy this turned out better. I hope you have a great time! Happy early birthday.

Missmoni2u wrote:

Glad to hear things worked out! Kind of wild that no one in this entire community of people thought this might be a bad idea. Smdh. Reminds me of the I love lucy episode where everyone pretended they forgot it was her birthday.

Devi_Moonbeam wrote:

I'm sorry but everyone who knew about this and went along with it sucks. Obviously this would cause you pain. The solution would have been to throw a party for you both and forget the surprise aspect.

ClutterKitty wrote:

This is the best update!!! I have twin girls. One is an extrovert and the other prefers quiet alone time. I saw my girls reflected in your post and my heart was hurting for you. I’m so happy it worked out!

This is a rare wholesome resolution, hopefully OP has a great time at her joint birthday party.

Sources: Reddit
© Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc

Featured Content