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Woman refuses to sell friend her 'skinny' rave outfits, tells her to wear larger clothes.

Woman refuses to sell friend her 'skinny' rave outfits, tells her to wear larger clothes.


Body image is a complicated subject that pretty much everyone on earth has loaded feelings about. Regardless of your size or gender, there have likely been times when you've felt your body wasn't right, and conversely, days when you were fully feeling yourself. Ideally, how you present your body is your business, and your business only - but we don't live in an ideal world.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for telling her friend to wear larger clothes. She wrote:

'AITA for telling my (26F) best friend (24F) she needs to wear larger clothes?'

So back story: me and my best friend have been besties for over 2 years and we are the kind that nap together, eat together, share clothes all that. Anyway, we both are a little over 5 feet tall and at the time we met both were roughly 125 pounds. So we were skinny and went out a lot and wore skimpy clothes etc.

Fast forward to the past 5-6 months. We both (at the same time) began gaining weight. Out of nowhere, rapidly. So NOW we both are around 160 and I am in large shirts and size 10-12 pants. Okay? I’ve accepted it. I don’t mind being in large clothes. But here’s the problem…she DOES mind being a large. She still wears her size small clothes, underwear, bras that don’t clip shut.

If you are thinking “is it that bad?” YES. It’s that bad.

She is in such DEEP denial that she’s “fat” — I prefer “juicy”, that she literally embarrassed me at my 6-year-old's football game last week because she came to this CHILDREN’S FOOTBALL GAME in a size SMALL black cocktail dress, expecting positive attention? Idk.

So anyway TODAY, she texted me and asked if I would sell her my retired rave outfits (raves were in my skinny days so they’re all small and XS) and I told her no! That she would look ridiculous! And she says I’m being mean…I told her that mean and realistic are not the same. She disagrees and is mad at me. AM I THE AH?

People had a lot of strong thoughts about the situation.

NomadicusRex wrote:

NTA - I say this as a fat person, it's NOT fat-shaming to suggest a person wear clothes that fit them.

ggboiz69 wrote:

NTA - Friends are there for telling us what is good and what's bad. I don't think you're being mean.

KronkLaSworda wrote:

'I told her that mean and realistic are not the same'

Agreed. NTA.

BoyoDee wrote:

Harsh? Yes. An AH? i’ll say no. NTA. While she can wear what she wants at the end of day, you don’t have to sell her clothes that won’t fit her. I actually have a female friend that had denial awfully similar to your friend at one point. She didn’t listen to anyone and at a public gathering one day her cardigan began to tear vertically. That was the wake-up call.

Candi_Kane33 wrote:

I’m going to get down voted but NTA. As a friend you are supposed to tell her she looks foolish before the world does. As long as you weren’t mean about it and it doesn’t sound like you were (because I mean pot meet kettle).

You don’t have to enable her delusions of skinny. Donate those clothes to the goodwill or consign them.

OP is NTA here, it's just an awkward conversation to have.

Sources: Reddit
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