Woman gets shamed at pool party for not shaving 'down there,' calls out friend afterward.

Body hair is completely natural and normal, but in current times, body hair removal is just as normal.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for refusing to shave and calling her friend out for being judgmental. She wrote:

"AITA for refusing to shave my pubic hair?"

To put it delicately, I (27F) don't shave my bush. This is for a couple of reasons 1) I am a bigger woman and find it takes a lot of effort to maintain a clean shave and 2) I am not currently seeing anyone so I don't find it necessary. I do however put in the effort to trim down there just to keep it tidy. My best friend (27F) and I have had conversations in the past about our grooming habits.

Just for some background we are both gay women and she is currently in a relationship and I am single. She has said that she'd prefer both she and her partner be clean-shaven. When I told her that I don't shave she said that it was gross and asked what I would do if a future partner would prefer that I shaved.

I said they would either have to deal with it, do it themselves, or pay for a waxing service as I refuse to shave myself. She kept insisting that she would never date someone who didn't shave but we ultimately dropped the conversation as it was clear we weren't going to see eye to eye on this topic.

Flash forward to a few days ago. My best friend and I were swimming at a friend's pool and I, admittedly, was due for a little trim. I had a few hairs sticking out of the sides of my bathing suit which I was doing my best to conceal so as to not gross anyone out. My best friend ended up noticing and made a comment along the lines of "that is so gross why don't you just shave?"

Luckily the only people swimming with us were a few close friends, however, I was still very embarrassed. I asked why it mattered whether I shaved or not and she replied with "that's probably why you're still single." Our other friends laughed and I went to change so that I could leave. Right before I left my friends house I asked if I could talk to my best friend privately.

I told her that her comment really embarrassed me and that it's my body so I can choose to shave if I want to. She said that I was being overdramatic and she only said something because it was grossing people out. I really just wanted to leave so I ended up apologizing for making other people uncomfortable and left.

I went home and gave myself a trim but my friend still hasn't apologized. So AITA for grossing people out with my long p*bic hair?

The internet weighed in with their thoughts.

Rainbow_brite_82 wrote:

NTA! Pubes are part of life, not gross at all! Everyone is entitled to their preferences in a partner of course, but I've always found the idea of a clean shave to be a bit weird, like I'm a grown woman, not a child. I usually do a bit of a trim job when I can be bothered, but I don't shave, too itchy when it grows back!

Your friend needs to grow up, it's not ok to shame someone for their body hair when they are just trying to relax in the pool. I don't think anyone else would have even noticed if she didn't say something. I certainly don't check out my friend's crotches when we are in the pool.

The only uncomfortable part of this story is your friend commenting about your body in front of everyone, that is really out of line, if I was there I would have felt very awkward about that comment. Long live the bush!

Actual_Ad_1367 wrote:

NTA. Your friend is rude and needs to keep her nose out of your crotch.

PurplePlough wrote:

This is not how friends behave! Live your life. Shave/don’t shave, it’s your call. Someone telling you that you’re making too much of their words is gaslighting. If it embarrassed you then they need to back down. It’s not for them to say.

You are absolutely the master of your own body and input on that subject should be strictly by request! You didn’t ask for an opinion! Absolutely NTA. Your friend on the other hand…

Missepus wrote:

NTA.

And honestly, I don't get why adult women should try to look like prepubescent girls. I find the obsession with smooth genitals to be borderline creepy. Enjoy your natural state!

Schezzi wrote:

Body shaming is the only gross thing here. Your 'friend' is repugnant - she has a lot of undesirable behaviours that need more urgent trimming than anyone's hair in this story.

NTA.

OP is NTA, but she might want to reconsider her friendship with someone so rude.