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Sober woman hosts housewarming brunch; brother snaps 'there are no drinks.' AITA?

Sober woman hosts housewarming brunch; brother snaps 'there are no drinks.' AITA?


Drinking is a given in most social situations, so when someone is living a dry lifestyle it can be tricky to navigate the endless stream of drinks. This applies even more if the sober person is hosting a social gathering with people who expect the bottles to be flowing.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for not specifically telling her family there'd be no drinks at brunch.

She wrote:

AITA for not specifically stating I won't serve alcohol at my house?

So I (22f) moved out. I wanted to invite my family over to dinner, but because it's further away (1-hour drive, which is a lot where I live) and they complained about getting home late then I changed it to brunch / lunch, and to show my new place. I invited 7 people (family), and made sure I had plenty of options.

Coffee, tea, juices, smoothies, several types of eggs, bacon, sausages, salmon, French toast, waffles, fresh fruit. My family knows I can't drink alcohol. But my brother got annoyed that there weren't any mimosas or bloody marys or things like that. My mom agreed, not in a rude way, but said that if I let her know I didn't have any alcohol she would have brought some.

I didn't because A) they know I can't have any and don't buy it B) we met at 1pm, most people I know don't drink by then and C) they were driving.

My brother later told me that if he'd known there wasn't alcohol he wouldn't have come all that way, and that I'm a b@#$h for not communicating it. Some of my friends agree that it's rude not to let guests know, but most think he's the AH. I think so too, but I'm biased. AITA?

Reddit had comments and questions galore.

mykingsburner18 wrote:


Sounds like your brother has a pretty significant alc0hol issue.

Pesec1 wrote:

NTA. First of all, expecting alcohol at an event that does not explicitly mention serving alcohol is not reasonable. Especially when hosted by someone who doesn't drink (and reason for not drinking us irrelevant) and around lunchtime. Second, it sounds like your brother has a problem and your mom is enabling it. Third, as you noted they were driving.

FritosRule wrote:

Holy s@#t, your family won’t show up unless there’s free b00ze? Your brother actually called you a b@#$h for not telling him there was no booze? These people require a program, this is not normal behavior. NTA.

Individual-Spray4949 wrote:

Super NTA. Sounds like you went out of your way to put together a nice meal for your family. They should have asked what you were having/ offered to bring something if they wanted something specific, especially knowing you can't drink. Your brother also sounds like an alcoholic.

santtu_ wrote:

NTA. You don't owe anyone getting alcohol. Especially if you don't drink yourself. Your mom might have been only non-confrontational and acknowledged your brother's comment. If it was a weekday, 1pm is early for a drink. Even on a weekend. And especially if someone has to drive. You weren't inconsiderate, but they were ungrateful guests.

After receiving plenty of feedback and support, OP jumped on with a small update and clarification.

EDIT: looking at comments in general, there seems to be some kind of regional variation regarding whether mimosas are a staple expected during Brunch or not. OP wasn't required to serve alcohol anyway (and almost everyone agrees). It's differences in expectation for mimosas among the general public that I find curious.

EDIT: Some people asked, I can't mix alcohol with my meds. Haven't had any for years and years. I don't ban alcohol at my house, I just didn't think anyone would expect me to serve it for lunch. Alcohol isn't always served for family dinners, just often, so I wouldn't say alcohol is always expected.

EDIT 2: Sorry if it was unclear, I didn't tell them I wouldn't have alcohol because I genuinely didn't think they'd want to drink at that time / when needing to drive, I didn't intentionally withhold the info from them to make sure it stays alcohol-free.

Clearly, OP is NTA, her family is - and it sounds like they need some serious help.

Sources: Reddit
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