Woman receives texts from fiancé's 'GF' saying 'I thought you should know.' UPDATED

'I (42f) recieved a text telling me my fiancée (46m) has a girlfriend.'

(42F) have been with my fiancée Caleb (46m fake name) for over 2 years. We are supposed to be getting married in August. Up until this morning I thought we had a great relationship. No major fights, spend almost all of our spare time together. Our 'love life' is ok (I could use a bit more, but I'm not complaining), and I have always told him that I was game ANYTIME he wanted to.

I have not noticed anything to make me question him. I have had issues with trust in the past, but I have not had ANY suspicions that anything untoward was going on. I received 6 missed calls at about 3:30 this morning from 2 numbers I don't recognize. I answered one and no one spoke on the other line, so I hung up. The 2nd number then called back twice, which I ignored and went back to sleep.

I woke up this morning to 2 text messages from the 2nd number saying (going to copy and paste): 'Hey, this is caleb's girlfriend' name spelled incorrectly, and 'I've been seeing Caleb for a few weeks now and thought you should know' name spelled right. I just replied 'And who are you?' to the text.

I'm really numb, and have no idea how to proceed. Do I forward the screenshots to him and ask wtf is up, do I wait till I get home from work and ask for his phone. I am so lost and confused, I had no suspicions whatsoever. Any advice would be welcome

Here's wha people had to say to OP after the first post:

kindaoldman says:

So how long since the engagement? It seems suspect to me to get randoms. In this day and age of social shame I'd expect a splatter made public of some type. Proceed with caution. Trust, but verify, everything.

Think back if there is even time for Caleb to have another relationship in the mix. Everything about a 3am phone call and text makes me think drunk angry ex or ex friend who wants to f**k with your life or Caleb's. Having your number is odd right out of the gate, unless you have been free to distribute it.

futurecrazycatlady writes:

You've already been asked about your fiancés exes or other people that might want to see him single, but how about 'your side'?

If it's someone who wants to see you single (or upset) it would also make sense to accuse him of cheating if they know about your trust issues and them having your number would make more sense as well.

JadedPhoenix80 OP responded:

I honestly can't think of anyone who would do this. I cut toxicity out of my life years ago.

Private-2011 writes:

I would wait and gather more facts, text the person back and ask them why they wanted you to know?

JadedPhoenix80 OP responded:

I did text back asking who it is and for proof/pics/screenshots. No reply

MissionRevolution306 writes:

Does he have a lock on his phone? Is he secretive about his phone? I would look through his phone before asking him anything.

JadedPhoenix80 OP responded:

There is a lock, but unless he changed it, I know what it is. He isn't secretive, but I don't lean over to look at his phone either

lsnor45 writes:

I think somebody's messing with you. Ask them to call your fiance right in front of you.

JadedPhoenix80 OP responded:

This is a good idea...

Vegetable-Bee-7545 writes:

Actually call from your fiancés phone. If they know your fiancé they will pick up and the phone number will be stored on his phone

JadedPhoenix80 OP responded:

I like this.

Update 2 weeks later:

I didn't say anything to Caleb until I got home. I think I had a suspicion that the texts were not legit, but I needed outside perception. I walked in the door and told him that we needed to talk, and showed him the texts.

He legitimately looked confused, then I showed him my call log. He was blown away, then immediately offered me his phone. I looked through it, and found nothing. No hidden apps, nothing in the trash or call logs, nothing in his gallery, nothing in his social media.

I had texted the 'person' earlier that day (0800) asking if they had any proof, by way of screenshots, dates they were together, or photos. I wasn't salty in the messages at all, and I stated that we were supposed to get married in August.

When I didnt hear back for about 8 hours, I sent another text saying Iwas calling BS, and that I didn't know what their endgame was, but I wasn't going to fall for it. About 7:45, they got back to me, 'I had no idea you guys were engaged he said you lived two hours away. Tell him to lose my number'. I responded with 'Can you send me some screenshots?

When did you see him last? Do you have any pics together? He is denying everything. I'd appreciate it'. About 5 minutes later they came back with 'Honestly I have no interest in breaking up a marriage and I should have minded my own business. We slept together a few times and it really wasn’t a big deal I apologize for any issues i’ve caused'.

That really got to me, so, my response was 'You helped, but it was he's choice. I would appreciate having proof' then I sent one right after this one saying 'And you should tell him yourself'

After about 20 minutes I texted that this was BS again. They responded almost right away and sent this final message 'I’m at work. Can you stop? Stay with Caleb, don’t, do whatever. I wanted to make you aware of something that involved you.

I thought i’d be doing you a favor but you continuously accusing me of making up bulls**t and texting me four times after I don’t respond for more than 10 minutes is making me think you should just keep him. Unless you’ve f**ked over someone, im not sure why you’d assume someone is f**king with you.

Also I don’t see what I would benefit from this considering he’s engaged and lied to me about it and I blocked his number already. Have a good one'. The tone in this one changes, and something said in a previous message changes my suspicions.

1. I am originally from a town about 2 hours from where I live now, but I have lived here for almost 4 years

2. Caleb doesn't tell people where I am originally from. The city/metro area I live in has about 1.5 million people, and it is never asked.

3. I was in an abusive relationship up until about 9 months before I moved here, and when we split he displayed very stalker-ish behaviors. The ex even went so far as to use a number spoofing service to contact me after I blocked him.

4. Caleb gave up his phone easily, and without hesitation. His non-verbals showed genuine confusion regarding the whole situation.

The conclusion that I drew was that this is someone from MY past trying to either, destroy my relationship, or test how strong it is. I'm thinking that whoever it is discovered that I'm in a relationship somehow, and wanted to shake it to see what would fall out. We ARE still together, and are still getting married.

Here's what people had to say after the update:

WinterFront1431 writes:

Yeah got to be ex then or some loser he knows. Change ya number honey...My petty arse would send a pic off you both on wedding day to that number ?

JadedPhoenix80 OP responded:

Love the pettiness!!!

BeeJackson writes:

I’d send one last message thanking them for affirming that marrying Caleb is the right decision because this small drama brought you two closer. Then wish them well.

JadedPhoenix80 OP responded:

This is good, and goes along with what another commenter said about 'messing with them'

Zandandido writes:

Could be a former girlfriend that wanted to get married, found out that he was getting married, and went off the rails.

ohmydearlucia writes:

Nice try, a**hole stalker ex. I'm glad this was resolved quickly.