Man tells childless SIL, "I'd never let you watch my baby;" she crumbles. AITA?
A lot of family tension revolves around children and childrearing.
Whether you choose to have children, or choose not to, it is still often a topic of conversation at family gatherings. One man writes about how he was sick of her SIL emphasizing how she would never want children. She would do this while he and his wife, as well as their newborn baby, were in the room. He finally decided to make a comment back. Now, his family says he needs to apologize.
AITA for telling my outspoken childfree SIL not to worry about being asked to babysit?
My wife and I have a 3 month old. He's a handful but compared to some of my friend's and cousins kids, he seems easier than most (knock on wood). Still he's a baby so its safe to say I haven't gotten 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep in approximately 3 months.
This weekend I was at my parents house, as were my sister with her husband, and my brother and his wife I'll call Karen. Karen is very outspoken about being childfree.
She will frequently bring up, without being asked. She goes on and on about how she never wants kids, thinks they're annoying and too expensive etc. I truly don't care whatsoever that that is her view and would never advise anyone who doesn't want kids to have them.
Anyway we were all talking about the movies that are in out in theater right now when my wife made a comment about how we hadn't been to a movie in 3 months and wont be for awhile most likely. She said something about how its hard to get out for a date night and if we do there's just other things we'd choose.
Karen then said without being asked 'Don't expect us to be babysitting for your date nights, I do NOT want to watch a baby'. I responded 'don't worry, I would never have you watch my child.'
My sister and husband laughed, my parents smirked but didn't say anything. Karen seemed embarrassed and didn't say much for awhile and then left about half an hour later without my brother.
Yesterday my brother texted me that my remark was rude and I should have just kept it to myself and she now thinks my whole family hates her. Was I really out of line?
Here are the top rated comments in response to the OP:
Speaking as a vehemently childfree person: NTA and I don't even understand why she was offended. If she even was offended: is perhaps your brother making a fuss about nothing?
Lmao wow, NTA! Your comment was exactly as polite as hers.
Yep, the energy was matched. If she didn't feel she was being rude by being direct in her request, she shouldn't take OP's response as rude either. He was just direct. IMO if you need soft and kind communication, then you should make sure your own communication style is soft and kind.
NTA - she had no reason to make her declaration. But since she did, you answered in a way that addressed her concerns and assured her that you understood her position.
NTA People need to understand that they get back the same energy they put out. There was nothing rude about your reply. She made a factual statement and you replied truthfully. If she feels your answer was out of line then she needs to reflect on what she said first before blaming anyone.
As to whether your family hates her, that’s not really a question for you. He can ask them individually.