Childrearing

<h2>Never underestimate a strong single mother.</h2><p>Being young and pregnant can be terrifying and overwhelming. One woman was so grateful for help from an older woman was she was 18-years-old and pregnant. But soon, she realized that her intentions were not as pure as she thought. The OP is sharing this story after the trauma and stress of the initial events and its provides a very satisfying ending.</p><h2>She tried to extort a baby from me, but ended up helping me keep the baby</h2><p><a data-click-id="user" data-testid="post_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HelpIHateTexas/">HelpIHateTexas</a></p><blockquote> <p>This happened WAY WAY back - My daughter is 30 now.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>When I was 18 and in my first year of college, I got pregnant. The father joined the Navy to escape responsibility. My parents (who are strict conservatives except when it&#39;s inconvenient) abandoned me and cut me off financially. They wanted me to have an abortion to prevent the loss of my scholarship.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>That&#39;s how I found myself at 18 suddenly and totally responsible for myself and my living situation with no financial or emotional support from anyone. I lived at a private dorm and was &quot;befriended&quot; by the property manager - Donna.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>When I told her my situation, she swooped in like a hero and helped me get a place to stay at one of the other properties she managed (I was getting evicted from the dorm). She then helped me get a job at a gift shop at one of those properties.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I thought she was the most wonderful person for all of this until her true motives became clear. She wanted to adopt my baby, even though I had expressed no interest in giving my baby up for adoption.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>After a few weeks of work, she launched a campaign to convince me I was unfit to be a mother and that my baby would be so much better off if I let Donna have it.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>At first it was subtle, passive-aggressive remarks about how much money she and her husband had, how she couldn&#39;t have children herself, how she hoped she was able to adopt one day and what a wonderful life they would give their baby.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>But, as time passed, her approach became more aggressive and direct. She was always around the shop and would even come to my apartment, ready to point out things I did (or didn&#39;t do) that proved what a terrible mother I would be.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>She went into long rants about how awful I was for having a baby without a father, how we&#39;d be &quot;welfare trash&quot; forever, how God brought her into my life because she was MEANT to have my baby.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>It was endless and constant, for months. Sometimes I let her comments upset me and make me wonder if she was right, but in my heart I knew that I&#39;d be a good mother.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>For a while, and feeling intimidated, I let myself be bullied into including her in baby-related events - I even let her go with me to the sonogram where I found out my baby was a girl. She was so excited &quot;for me&quot;!</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>As I got closer to delivering, I got stronger in making clear to Donna that I was not giving up my baby. I tried to avoid Donna as much as I could, but was regularly reminded how much power she had over my living situation.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I soon had coworkers telling me she was claiming that my baby&#39;s adoption was a &quot;done deal&quot;. She even told people she was decorating a nursery and buying baby girl clothes.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>When it became clear that she was not going to change my mind, she started threatening me with eviction from my apartment and firing me from my job. That way, I&#39;d realize how unstable my situation was and recognize I had no business having a baby.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>And sure enough, I lost my job. She fired me for not wearing my shoes behind the cashier&#39;s counter at the gift shop. When I was on my feet all day, my feet would swell right out of my shoes.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I&#39;d stand behind the counter and slip off my shoes for a bit - but never in view of the customers. Still, that was reason enough, in Donna&#39;s mind, to teach me a lesson. It didn&#39;t take long after losing my job to also lose my apartment. I ended up couch-surfing and even spent some time homeless until I got some housing assistance.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>In the meantime, I had gone to the EEOC and complained, and they helped me mediate with the owners of the gift shop property.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>As a result, Donna got fired from managing that property and I got months of backpay and some extra money for my trouble (in exchange for not all-out suing them). This small cash windfall turned out to be a huge blessing that actually enabled me to survive financially until I had my baby and could get back in school.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Donna firing me was the best thing that could have ever happened. I saw her years later and she was still childless.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Best Revenge: My daughter is now getting ready to graduate, full scholarship and magna cum laude, from a top law school. Turns out being raised by a single mom is not as awful as Donna thought! :)</p> </blockquote><h2>Here is what people had to say to the OP:</h2><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CoderJoe1/">CoderJoe1</a></p><blockquote> <p>Not everyone that saves you is your friend and not everyone that sh*ts on you is your enemy.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/PanaceaStark/">PanaceaStark</a></p><blockquote> <p>&quot;She even told people she was decorating a nursery and buying baby girl clothes. Yikes!&quot; That&#39;s straight up psycho.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/moonkittiecat/">moonkittiecat</a></p><blockquote> <p>From one single mother single-mother to another, I hope it doesn&#39;t creep you out if I tell you I love you. I didn&#39;t have people try to take him but everyone knew better than me and constantly told me so. I took some classes and did a crap-ton of babysitting in my life so I grew pretty confident. Now my son is an amazing man.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>The OP responded:</h2><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HelpIHateTexas/">HelpIHateTexas</a></p><blockquote> <p>Love reading this. When I encounter young women in the situation I was in, I go all in to make sure they know they CAN be a good mom *all by themselves* (if that is what they want).</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Even if everyone else abandons you, there are resources to help you get on your feet. I certainly didn&#39;t make my life easier having a baby so young, and my small family struggled for years to stay afloat while I went to school and built a career. But we made it! Congrats to you, mama! I love you too :)</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/londomollaribab5/">londomollaribab5</a></p><blockquote> <p>What ever happened with your parents? Did they ever meet your daughter?</p> </blockquote><h2>The OP responded to this one, as well:</h2><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HelpIHateTexas/">HelpIHateTexas</a></p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Yes - though not without some pain. My father did not speak to me the entire time I was pregnant.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>My mother went along with that as well, until my wonderful aunt told her what an a** she was being and how much my mom would miss out on. Mom ended up being my birth coach and, over months, tried to bring my dad to his senses.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>In the end, all it took was him holding my daughter for the first time and he was absolutely smitten. My daughter was (and still is) the apple of his eye.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>That&#39;s not to say that I was immediately over them abandoning me, but over years we worked it out and have a close relationship now. I tell you one thing, though - I never EVER put myself in a position to depend on them (or anyone else, for that matter) again.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/jewelisgreat/">jewelisgreat</a></p><blockquote> <p>So happy that everything worked out so wonderfully. Sometimes when are dealing with the toughest things in our life and we can&rsquo;t see the sky for all the clouds, we don&rsquo;t know after the storm that we will get the most beautiful rainbow later.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/michaelHIJINX/">michaelHIJINX</a></p><blockquote> <p>The best revenge is a life well lived... I&#39;m so happy for you &amp; your daughter. Congratulations to both of you! I&#39;m sure you&#39;ve both worked very hard for these accomplishments.</p> </blockquote><h2>Any single moms have stories of being underestimated or talked down to? How were you able to prove them wrong?</h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Pregnant teen realizes that the woman 'helping' her wants her baby.

Never underestimate a strong single mother.Being young and pregnant can be terrifying and overwhelming. One woman was so grateful for help from an older woman was she was 18-years-old and pregnant. But soon, she realized that her intentions were not as pure as she thought. The OP is sharing this story after the trauma and stress of the initial events and its provides a very satisfying ending.She tried to extort a baby from me, but ended up helping me keep the babyHelpIHateTexas This happened WAY WAY back - My daughter is 30 now.  When I was 18 and in my first year of college, I got pregnant. The father joined the Navy to escape responsibility. My parents (who are strict conservatives except when it&#39;s inconvenient) abandoned me and cut me off financially. They wanted me to have an abortion to prevent the loss of my scholarship.  That&#39;s how I found myself at 18 suddenly and totally responsible for myself and my living situation with no financial or emotional support from anyone. I lived at a private dorm and was &quot;befriended&quot; by the property manager - Donna.  When I told her my situation, she swooped in like a hero and helped me get a place to stay at one of the other properties she managed (I was getting evicted from the dorm). She then helped me get a job at a gift shop at one of those properties.  I thought she was the most wonderful person for all of this until her true motives became clear. She wanted to adopt my baby, even though I had expressed no interest in giving my baby up for adoption.  After a few weeks of work, she launched a campaign to convince me I was unfit to be a mother and that my baby would be so much better off if I let Donna have it.  At first it was subtle, passive-aggressive remarks about how much money she and her husband had, how she couldn&#39;t have children herself, how she hoped she was able to adopt one day and what a wonderful life they would give their baby.  But, as time passed, her approach became more aggressive and direct. She was always around the shop and would even come to my apartment, ready to point out things I did (or didn&#39;t do) that proved what a terrible mother I would be.  She went into long rants about how awful I was for having a baby without a father, how we&#39;d be &quot;welfare trash&quot; forever, how God brought her into my life because she was MEANT to have my baby.  It was endless and constant, for months. Sometimes I let her comments upset me and make me wonder if she was right, but in my heart I knew that I&#39;d be a good mother.  For a while, and feeling intimidated, I let myself be bullied into including her in baby-related events - I even let her go with me to the sonogram where I found out my baby was a girl. She was so excited &quot;for me&quot;!  As I got closer to delivering, I got stronger in making clear to Donna that I was not giving up my baby. I tried to avoid Donna as much as I could, but was regularly reminded how much power she had over my living situation.  I soon had coworkers telling me she was claiming that my baby&#39;s adoption was a &quot;done deal&quot;. She even told people she was decorating a nursery and buying baby girl clothes.  When it became clear that she was not going to change my mind, she started threatening me with eviction from my apartment and firing me from my job. That way, I&#39;d realize how unstable my situation was and recognize I had no business having a baby.  And sure enough, I lost my job. She fired me for not wearing my shoes behind the cashier&#39;s counter at the gift shop. When I was on my feet all day, my feet would swell right out of my shoes.  I&#39;d stand behind the counter and slip off my shoes for a bit - but never in view of the customers. Still, that was reason enough, in Donna&#39;s mind, to teach me a lesson. It didn&#39;t take long after losing my job to also lose my apartment. I ended up couch-surfing and even spent some time homeless until I got some housing assistance.  In the meantime, I had gone to the EEOC and complained, and they helped me mediate with the owners of the gift shop property.  As a result, Donna got fired from managing that property and I got months of backpay and some extra money for my trouble (in exchange for not all-out suing them). This small cash windfall turned out to be a huge blessing that actually enabled me to survive financially until I had my baby and could get back in school.  Donna firing me was the best thing that could have ever happened. I saw her years later and she was still childless.  Best Revenge: My daughter is now getting ready to graduate, full scholarship and magna cum laude, from a top law school. Turns out being raised by a single mom is not as awful as Donna thought! :) Here is what people had to say to the OP:CoderJoe1 Not everyone that saves you is your friend and not everyone that sh*ts on you is your enemy. PanaceaStark &quot;She even told people she was decorating a nursery and buying baby girl clothes. Yikes!&quot; That&#39;s straight up psycho. moonkittiecat From one single mother single-mother to another, I hope it doesn&#39;t creep you out if I tell you I love you. I didn&#39;t have people try to take him but everyone knew better than me and constantly told me so. I took some classes and did a crap-ton of babysitting in my life so I grew pretty confident. Now my son is an amazing man. The OP responded:HelpIHateTexas Love reading this. When I encounter young women in the situation I was in, I go all in to make sure they know they CAN be a good mom *all by themselves* (if that is what they want).  Even if everyone else abandons you, there are resources to help you get on your feet. I certainly didn&#39;t make my life easier having a baby so young, and my small family struggled for years to stay afloat while I went to school and built a career. But we made it! Congrats to you, mama! I love you too :) londomollaribab5 What ever happened with your parents? Did they ever meet your daughter? The OP responded to this one, as well:HelpIHateTexas Yes - though not without some pain. My father did not speak to me the entire time I was pregnant.  My mother went along with that as well, until my wonderful aunt told her what an a** she was being and how much my mom would miss out on. Mom ended up being my birth coach and, over months, tried to bring my dad to his senses.  In the end, all it took was him holding my daughter for the first time and he was absolutely smitten. My daughter was (and still is) the apple of his eye.  That&#39;s not to say that I was immediately over them abandoning me, but over years we worked it out and have a close relationship now. I tell you one thing, though - I never EVER put myself in a position to depend on them (or anyone else, for that matter) again. jewelisgreat So happy that everything worked out so wonderfully. Sometimes when are dealing with the toughest things in our life and we can&rsquo;t see the sky for all the clouds, we don&rsquo;t know after the storm that we will get the most beautiful rainbow later. michaelHIJINX The best revenge is a life well lived... I&#39;m so happy for you &amp; your daughter. Congratulations to both of you! I&#39;m sure you&#39;ve both worked very hard for these accomplishments. Any single moms have stories of being underestimated or talked down to? How were you able to prove them wrong?

Never underestimate a strong single mother.  Being young and pregnant can be terrifying and overwhelming. One woman was so grateful for help from an older woman was she was 18-years-old and pregnant. But soon, she realized that her...