Man won't take in GF's mom when she loses her trailer; 'she's not my mom.' AITA?
Family is suppose to be there for each other, in good times and bad.
But one man feels that his GF is asking to much of him when her mother asked to move in. She was living in a portable trailor with a boyfriend, they broke up, and now she doesn't know where else to turn. The OP says he bought the house and he doesn't want to share it with his girlfriend's mom. His girlfriend says that if they don't take her in, she will be homeless.
AITA for not wanting my girlfriend's mother to move in with us?
I (23M) and my girlfriend (22F) have been together for almost 6 years. We just moved into a house that I bought and own, a month and a half ago. I'm a first time homeowner and this is my first time living on my own away from my parents. She's been living in an an apartment for a few years prior to moving in here.
We make enough to live comfortably; we bring home around $80k combined. As a result, I was able to buy a pretty big house for the two of us; nearly the size of my parents home. I alone pay the mortgage and utilities, since it's my house. My girlfriend has been generous enough to buy groceries, subscriptions, etc. She also paid for some of the furniture we had when we moved in.
The issue here came up about a week ago. Girlfriend's mom 'A' isn't well off, she lived in a trailer with her boyfriend and they broke up a few months ago so she'd been living with her mom and mom's husband.
A's mom died a couple of weeks ago from cancer, and now her mom's husband is kicking her out. She has the possibility of living with my girlfriend's sister and her boyfriend (who live with the boyfriends parents), but A's been insistent on moving in with us.
I am firmly against this. It's my house, I'm very much enjoying living on my own, and honestly, I don't want anyone else here.
It's not my fault that her mom hasn't done anything to improve her financial situation, and I shouldn't be forced to endure her consequences of her actions.
The fact that (to my knowledge) she isn't even looking at apartments, other trailers in that area, or a JOB just shows me that she intends to move in here and stay here.
I can tell my girlfriend doesn't want that either, but wants to cave and ask me to allow it, though she's been avoiding the subject directly with me given the uncomfortable situation she's understandably in.
I love her to death, but she's a massive pushover when it comes to her mom. She had me driving to Walmart to get food and cigarettes for her mom when we started dating, because her mom was too lazy to.
My girlfriend's sister has been saying I'm an a**hole because we have a bigger house, and can easily take her in. I told her outright, 'it's not my mom, and not my problem', which caused her to throw a tantrum on the phone, and she accused me of trying to make her mom homeless.
I've been feeling guilty, but I want to hold my ground. I don't want to enable her mom to sit around here all day drinking. So, AITA?
Here are the top responses from readers:
NTA. You are not married to your girlfriend. You also have to check if there are legal implications with lawyers having them in your house for the long term to protect your investment from being clawed.
If your gf’s sister is so concerned, then she can take her own mom in. That’s your house, not your gf’s. Tell it to her face. If her mom is homeless, it’s on your gf’s sister.
I would definitely second this. Know your legal rights, even when it comes to your GF living there and not paying rent. She’s cool now, but with her family seeming so influential to her, just be prepared by knowing your rights. Plan for the worst and hope for the best.
As to the mom: NTA.
Think of it like this: If the mom moves in, I mean, what are your rights when it comes to making her leave? Especially if your gf is a pushover and won’t be the one to ask anyway. And if she’s living there for free, without a job or anything to do, then what is she doing in your house while you’re gone?
No is a complete sentence. Your GF should respect that. As t her family- you neither requested nor required their opinion. They can kick rocks.
OP, she will be a permanent guest. This is your house, and therefore please think hard. 'she accused me of trying to make her mom homeless' Nope. She made herself homeless.
NTA. Your gf may need to just move back into an apartment with her mom. This isn't your problem.
NTA. Your gf isn’t paying any rent- just contributing towards daily living expenses. Maybe she can take the money she is saving in rent to help her mom get a place.