Man's ex blocked him from her life, 13 years later she wants child support. AITA?
One man wonders if his ex asking for child support is even fair.
He wanted to be there for his child after they split, but she wouldn't allow it. Well now, she is having money problems and her feelings seem to have changed.
'AITA for not playing any child support?'
My ex-girlfriend, Claire (35F), got pregnant while we were dating. Although she told me she just wanted to be friends after that, I was ready to be a father.
However, she met someone else, Becca, who didn't want me around, so they asked me to cancel my paternal rights.
At the time, I was torn because I wanted to be there for my child, but I also felt that if they didn't want me around, it was best to waive my rights. After fighting for a while, I eventually gave up because it was clear that they didn't want me there.
Fast forward 13 years later, Claire and Becca are going through some stuff, and they want me to pay child support.
However, the court had already ruled that since I waived my paternal rights, I am not legally obliged to pay child support. Despite this, Claire is calling me a bastard and a deadbeat, and she's even calling my family and getting them involved.
While I understand her frustration, I don't think it's appropriate for her to be involving my family in this matter.
Here were the top comments from readers:
NTA. They wanted your parental rights and responsibilities terminated, they've been terminated.
NTA. They didn’t want you to be a dad, so you aren’t a dad. They’re only regretting their decision now because they need money.
If you consider helping out financially, you need to insist that you also be allowed to have a relationship with your kid with no secrets about why you haven’t been around. The kid deserves to know that the only reason you weren’t around is because of their moms.
NTA. Regret and spite are ugly emotions.
NTA legally. She and Becca told you to f*ck off, but now they want you as a bank.
If you do still want a relationship with your child, put forth this offer:
Ask for split custody and parental rights instead. No child support. If there’s split custody then your ex only has to house and feed him 50% of the time which relieves a significant economic burden.
They’ll obviously say no, because it’s never about relieving their economic burden, they just want an easy way to your money. At which point cut them out and rebut anyone that complaints with “I made them an offer, they refused. That’s the end of my cares”.
NTA. You were coerced to waive your rights and you are in no legal or moral obligation. You were merely a sperm donor, at least according to your ex and her new partner.
If you want to pay child support, that is definitely up to you. Personally, I'd ask to have some contact with your child AND instead of just forking over money I'd ask them what the child needs and get those things. Not hand over money which may or may not go towards the child.