I've been with my husband for 6 years. He moved in to my home 3 years ago and we married shortly after. A year prior to him moving in with me, he got himself a dog. It wasn't a joint decision (I would have said no because I'm allergic to dog saliva - which he 100% knew).
He told me he got the dog after he already went and paid $800 for her from a backyard breeder. She's a "Cowboy Corgi" (Corgi-Heeler mix). He started talking to me about moving in with me maybe 6 months after he got the dog and I was pretty blunt in saying that it likely can't happen because I would never be okay with the dog living in my home with my allergy.
He started talking about these allergy shots that his sister takes so she can have her dogs but I refused because I don't want take shot/meds to be around a dog that I never wanted. Not only that but the dog nips and always had.
I watched her latch right on to his nose/chin/mouth several times and draw blood and he never corrected her because "she's just telling me she loves me". So, I'm all set with that. I suggested we just live apart.
He said that wasn't an option for him and that he would "figure it out". Three days later he told me that his mother wanted his dog so he was just going to let her keep her and this way, he'd still be able to visit her. In the past 3.5 years, he has seen the dog maybe 4 times.
Fast forward to December of 2022. We find out we are expecting a baby. While going through the discussions and everything, I told him I didn't want any dog near the baby AT ALL until she was older.
My husband completely agreed with me and said he didn't want dogs near the baby either. We had our daughter in September. She's almost 5 months old now. The dog issue was never brought up again.
However, he tells me yesterday his mom is stopping by so I go to the store to grab some food to cook. I left the baby with him at home. When I got back his mother was here already and she had brought the dog with her.
When I walked inside, my husband was holding the dog in his arms, my MIL was holding my baby and they were putting them close together, saying "aww, you love the baby" or "aww you love the doggy, be easy with the doggy".
My daughter was screaming and the dog had whale eyes, trying to kick out of my husband's arms to get to the baby while throat growling. I flipped out. I took my baby from my MIL and told them both to get the f out of my house.
My husband immediately doubled down and said "I wasn't letting them get too close, it's fine", so I told him that we agreed to not have dogs around the baby at all and he said "well I figured you meant your mom's dogs" (my mom has pit bulls).
They end up leaving, during which time I broke out in hives just from holding my baby so I know they had the dog and my baby much closer than they claim because she clearly had dog saliva on her.
My husband has been texting and calling saying I'm blowing this out of proportion and that nothing happened. I argued that I've seen that dog latch on to his face and draw blood and he agreed to not have any dog around our baby so I had nothing else to say to him.
I then put my phone up and stepped away from it for about 6 hours. When I returned, there was over 90 missed calls and texts. His last text saying "you're the only fing reason I got rid of my dog to begin with and I will never forgive you for it.
I've resented you for years. I've missed my dog endlessly this entire time and I couldn't even tell you because you're so anti-dog. MY dog would never hurt MY daughter." AITA?
NTA - he doesn't respect you otherwise he would have never got a dog.
Your husband's actions are reckless and disrespectful. Prioritizing your child's safety is not "anti-dog," it's responsible parenting. NTA (Not The A**hole).
NTA- let’s forget about them putting your baby in danger for a sec. Just having that dog in your house is bad for you. You broke out in hives touching your baby, which means that you would come across the saliva in your house. You know they won’t track the dog, so you could be having random allergy episodes for who knows how long.
Back to baby- outside of the nipping/biting danger, your daughter could be allergic to dogs. Between you and your husband having genetic ties to canine allergies, I would have introduced that to her slowly and in short increments. She could have hives, breathing problems, itchiness, etc. and infant medication is hit or miss.
It took my son’s pediatrician two years to finally diagnose him with asthma related to the environment (which is normal to wait until 2, but frustrating when your kid coughs constantly and no one would test to find out why). Come to find out he’s mildly and moderately allergic to cats/dogs. We have two of each. 😑
Anyway, your husband has shown a complete lack of care or respect for your daughter, yourself, and your home.
I hate people that don’t train there dogs
It is a huge issue, for sure. My mom trained her dogs but I've noticed with his family, they don't train any of their dogs. They have an older dog that still goes to the bathroom indoors and has bitten like 3 people (I could be wrong with that number but it's over 2) and they just don't do anything.
ESH. Why did you have a baby with this ahole?
Exactly. My thought when reading 90% of the posts on this site is why did they marry and procreate with this person in the first place?
The dog issue is his only hang up and to be fair, I didn't even know it was an issue until this happened. He hasn't spoke about the dog, hasn't told me he missed her, hasn't even made an attempt to go and see her. It wasn't something I ever thought about, admittedly, because he never mentioned it.
Other than this, things are perfect. I know some people just say that but I'm being serious. We never fight. I think the last time we had an argument was before he even moved in. Our communication was great (so I thought, obviously it's not). He treated me fantastic. This, to me, felt completely out of left field.
Not respecting you health lying to you endangering your baby 90 abusive texts and cussing you out is more than one issue. He has demonstrated he is perfectly willing to lie to you to get his way that he doesn’t respect you and that his personality will turn scary on a dime if you try to enforce his “promises.” This isn’t a good road you are on.