Mom forges ex-husband's signature, donates deceased daughter's organs. AITA?
"AITA for donating my deceased daughter's organs against my ex-husband's wishes?"
Soft_Willingness199
My ex-husband (38M) and I (36F) divorced three years ago due to irreconcilable differences and have co-parented our only child, a beautiful girl named Emily, who was diagnosed with a severe cardiac condition at birth. We always knew her life would be short, but we cherished every moment.
Last month, she had a sudden cardiac arrest and was pronounced brain dead in the hospital. We were shattered. When the hospital approached us about organ donation, I immediately saw it as an opportunity for Emily's legacy to live on and help other children in need.
However, my ex was vehemently against it, citing our cultural beliefs and the notion that it would be desecrating her body. We were both her legal guardians, and the hospital needed both our consents.
In a moment of overwhelming emotion, I forged his signature, thinking that saving other children's lives was more important. Three children benefited from Emily's organs and are now leading healthier lives.
However, when my ex found out, he was livid. He accused me of betraying him, our culture, and our daughter. My family supports me, but his side, and many of our mutual friends, believe I've committed an unforgivable sin.
I've been grappling with immense guilt. On one hand, I believe Emily's legacy lives on in those children, and on the other, I betrayed my ex-husband's trust in the most profound way. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Nedstarkclash
I will let others judge on this one, but would like to simply express my sincere condolences for your loss.
funguy3020
For forging your husband's signature, YTA For choosing saving lives over religion and cultural beliefs though, NTA. People really need to stop letting religion and beliefs dictate everything they do. Three kids were saved thanks to this woman and her daughter.
Tail_Nom
YTA and don't you dare, for one fucking minute, let yourself feel guilty for it. Don't you EVER let anyone convince you that wasn't worth it. You can apologize all you want, but if you ever forget the lives you and your daughter saved, you will be lesser for it. You are a saint, not a sinner.
Ravenkelly
Ya you are but I'm calling JUSTIFIED AH. You saved a bunch of people while he was concerned only whith himself and peer pressure from dead people (tradition/culture)
julievonpells
YTA, but I think I would've done the same.
Automatic-Rest-7342
YTA but that doesn't mean you weren't right. Cultural beliefs are one thing, but people literally die without those organs.
Thrwwychildofhoard
YTA. But it was a necessary evil. Everyone should make choices which are hard, and you made such choice. Her father was too attached to cultural aspects of organ donation and almost took away this rare opportunity of a lifetime from 3 other children.
Yes, you are an a**hole for doing your own thing and not valuing your ex's opinion, and forging his signature. But you saved lives. And that, pays the price.
vextross
Saving lives > Cultural beliefs. YTA, but I'm still gonna side with you.
Outside-Ad-1677
This is a no win. Your daughters organs have gone on to save numerous lives and for that the organ recipient and their families will thank you to the end of time. However forging his signature is a big no no and you may find yourself in seriously hot water because of it. But honestly, this all comes down to what where your daughters wishes. Her beliefs trump all here.