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Woman tells sister she can't bring first date to Christmas, sister says 'you ruined it.'

Woman tells sister she can't bring first date to Christmas, sister says 'you ruined it.'


When it comes to the holidays, every family has a different vision. While some families are all about "the more the merrier," others prefer an intimate group.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for telling her sister she can't bring a random man to Christmas. She wrote:

"AITA for 'ruining' my sister’s Christmas?"

My husband bought my older sister a $800 plane ticket to come back home to California to visit me and my family for my birthday and Christmas.

We planned this small intimate family pajama party to celebrate mine, my younger sister’s, my nephew’s, and my dad’s birthday which all fall on the week before Christmas, and my older sister decided to invite a random guy who “wants to marry her” but hasn’t even met him before to this party.

I talked to the rest of my family and no one really feels comfortable having a random person at our family party, especially since it’s on her son’s actual birthday. My feelings were hurt that after my husband spent so much on her plane ticket, she would plan a first date on the ONE day our whole family was supposed to be together.

When I told her she said that I ruined her Christmas, and all she wanted to do was introduce her “future husband” to the whole family. Am I the AH?

The internet swooped in with their thoughts.

ghrutnsn wrote:

NTA. You don't get to just take it upon yourself to +1 someone to a family party. She could have ASKED about inviting Mr. Rando. That's leaving aside the fact that your sister is so foolish as to believe she's marrying some guy she's never met. Don't be shocked when Mr. Rando fails to ever show his face, but starts asking sister for money.

Waiting4theF*ckening wrote:

You’re not the AH! She’s being a child throwing a fit over a guy it sounds like she barely knows. If he cares so much about being her future husband and part of YOUR family then HE can pay for both of their tickets! She should be grateful your husband would pay for a ticket for her and not invite strangers on top of that.

bokatan778 wrote:

NTA. Your sister really needs to make better choices. Sounds like she used your generosity to come to California to spend time with this random guy. It sounds dangerous on her part, and truly reckless that she would bring this random guy around her child. She needs to grow up.

Azile96 wrote:

NTA. Nothing wrong with introducing a long-term relationship to family when they are all together, but not without prior permission. She should not assume this is the right time just because everyone is getting together.

She first needed to ask you if you were okay with the idea as it is being held at your house. She can't just spring it on you and the rest of the family cause she never introduced him beforehand even to a few family members before this event.

This person is an unknown, so that will likely make things awkward as you won't be prepared to include him in the festivities. Some families don't mind including new people in any family gathering, but others need to warm up to new people in more personal settings before being comfortable in larger family events. You may just need to get to know him first. Christmas is not appropriate at this time for you.

OP is NTA here, her sister needs to wait before bringing this man to events.

Sources: Reddit
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