Within the past year, my girlfriend moved in with me into my home in an affluent neighborhood. For the past few years, the neighbors and I have seen a growing amount of people come to our neighborhood for Halloween. This has caused a lot of people to "turn off" for Halloween, which you'd think would get the crowd to lessen but it keeps growing.
I was openly annoyed with this leading up to Halloween and my girlfriend would condemn it every time I brought it up because "Halloween's all about sharing", saying it shouldn't matter whether the kids are from the neighborhood or not.
She'd also point out that many of these children probably live in bad neighborhoods where it's not possible to trick-or-treat. Not surprisingly, this year at both entrances to the neighborhood, cars line the streets.. some with out of state plates (I live in a suburb of a city which is just over the state line.)
Am I the a**hole for getting annoyed with parents who truck carloads full of kids to a neighborhood they don't live in?
Yta I just want to judge the level of asshole are you annoyed because poor people are taking candy meant for the rich kids or because you have to answer the door more?
HalloweenAsshole OP responded:
A couple years back a few of the houses gave out full candy bars and the other houses had complaints from parents, I wish I was making this up, that their child didn't receive a full candy bar. One neighbor shut down instantly last Halloween after getting a mouthful from a parent who was unhappy her child got 3 or 4 Halloween-sized candies.
The reason I feel it's so annoying is because I get the vibe that we've become the equivalent of the neighborhood from the "Full Bars" episode on Bob's Burgers. Word has somehow spread that we all give full bars and people show up in droves hoping to get their bags filled with full bars and on multiple occasions expressed their displeasure in not receiving what they came for.
PreOpTransCentaur said:
Yep, and sorry about your privilege.
Spectrum2081 said:
Let me expound upon this, OP, as someone from one of those neighborhoods where parents carpool in children to trick-or-treat:
You are not required to hand out candy. You are not required to hand out more candy than you are willing to buy. If you don't feel like participating or when you are out of candy, you can hang a sign and turn off your porch light and go on with your night.
However, when you start picking which kids are worthy of your Halloween treats, you are indeed an a**hole. Imagine being a kid, dressing up, knocking on a door on Halloween and saying, trick-or-treat to someone visibly annoyed by your presence. Imagine it is because of something like the color of your skin or because you are overweight. That would feel pretty bad. Now imagine it's because you are too poor.
Only very specific neighborhood (like mine) are safe for trick-or-treaters. Others have too many cars, no sidewalks, the houses are too far apart, etc, and while neighborhoods often hold trunk-or-treat events, that's really not the same thing.
These parents are trying to bring a bit of magic into their children's lives you Halloscroog. Stop being an a**hole. Every child who knocks on your door equally worthy of candy.
username_chcks_out said:
You are a primo a**hole. Buy some full sized candy bars and do it right before I come over there and egg your affluent house.
SamScoopCooper said:
YTA. “Stop being callous and miserly and go to Costco, you cheapskate, and get enough candy to fill the bags of the kids who come one day a year to marvel at how the 1 percent live.” - Dear Prudence
SleepUntilTomorrow said:
YTA. Here is just a couple of the reasons why: most of these families likely live in neighborhoods that are predominantly apartment buildings and businesses with few single family dwellings. This means that the ratio of homes handing out candy vs buildings in general is low.
Secondly, these kids are not less deserving of the candy from your neighborhood than children who have parents in a higher income bracket. The fact that you seem to think they are hints at a bias that you probably haven’t examined too closely but probably should.
sjsyed said:
YTA. Where is the rule that says kids have to trick-or-treat where they live? Maybe they live in apartments where it’s almost impossible to go door-to-door because no one participates. Maybe they live in a dangerous area where it would be a really bad idea to go knocking on doors.
On my street, there are very few trick-or-treaters. Last year, I was giving out double handfuls of candy to the kids, because barely anyone showed up. (This year, I didn’t even bother, because it was going to rain and I wouldn’t even be home for the first hour.). I would be THRILLED if I got a ton of kids. If I knew that kids were coming to my street on purpose, that would actually encourage me to step it up a notch.
If it bothers you so much to give candy to poor children, then just don’t give candy at all. Stay inside, turn off your porch light, and count your money or something, you Halloween grinch.