A man was recently cornered by his co-worker at bar where she divulged her ongoing weight problem. When he told her he wasn't comfortable with that conversation, it didn't exactly go well. He went to Reddit to ask:
u/ThrowRAsmokescleared writes:
Yesterday, my boss not only gave us a half day, but, took us all to a bar to kick off the holiday. I(29M) like to think I get along with all of my co-workers. The company I work for is only 17 people so, it's pretty imperative I get along with everyone, that's how I view it.
So, we're at this bar and after awhile, one of my co-workers, Molly(38F) comes up to me. I think we're about to just have a light conversation about how pumped we are for the half day and the day off. That didn't happen, she, instead reveals to me that, since her divorce 2 years ago, has gained 70 pounds.
I was so rattled I didn't know how to correctly respond so I didn't interject. She continued and told me that on random days she'll go and buy $60+ worth of snacks and will just down them all that same day. She began telling me that at this point it feels hopeless she'll lose the weight.
I was very uncomfortable and told Molly that while I think its great she thinks we're tight knit enough to open up to me about this, I'm uncomfortable with where the conversation is going. Wished her luck, and was about to move when she said, 'Jesus, what a rude reaction.'
Here's what Reddit had to say:
Booky_Cat says:
NTA (not the a-hole). She is the rude one. You are her coworker, not her therapist. You are allowed to establish boundaries about conversation topics.
saltycathbk says:
NTA. You could have handled it a little smoother, but it’s a minefield of a topic that she brought up and you could’ve easily ended up in a world of shit at your job if you said the wrong thing.
That's the other thing, I worried about if I try and offer any kind of advice or anything, and my wording is a bit off, am I going to open a new can of worms
But sirenedbbg writes:
i’m leaning on nta (not the a-hole), she shouldn’t trauma dump like that, but, she is obviously struggling with this fact and it’s sad, maybe it’s a cry for help?
And Reguar_dude says:
Maybe you are the a-hole a little. Maybe say TMI (too much information) , could we talk about this somewhere else?
Hopefully, she knows what those boundaries are for the future. She may be mad at OP but he probably won't have to listen to her personal life again.