College

<p>College is a rough time for most people fortunate enough to attend. You&#39;re young. You&#39;re dumb. You&#39;re drunk all the time. And you&#39;re paying for it all with money you don&#39;t even have. It&#39;s a sh*tshow. If you don&#39;t make mistakes in college, congrats, you are better than everyone else. Either that or you just don&#39;t remember because you were in a blackout.</p><p>A guy recently took to Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I The A**hole?&quot; forum to <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ck60ce/aita_for_warning_others_about_a_girls_sti/" target="_blank">share a story</a> in which many mistakes were made, including by the poster himself.</p><h2>After finding out a girl he slept with had herpes and hadn&#39;t told him, he publicly outed her STI on a university Facebook page. Now he&#39;s facing &quot;severe&quot; backlash.</h2><p>The guy thinks he&#39;s in the right here, while most others seem to agree this was an a**hole move. Even though her not telling him she had herpes was <em>also </em>an a**hole move. But as the saying goes, two a**holes do not make a right!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>In summation: everyone in this story behaved badly. Sounds like college!</p><p>He begins by revealing that he &quot;doesn&#39;t think he acted a**holish here&quot; which is the first surefire sign that he, in fact, did.</p><h2>He reveals he slept with a girl he met at a toga party, where so many bad decisions are made. He later found out from a mutual friend that she has herpes and had not told him.</h2><blockquote> <p>Honestly don&rsquo;t think I acted assholish here given her actions, but the severe backlash I&rsquo;ve received has me open to the idea that I am. Hence I&rsquo;m posting here.</p> <p>To cut a long story short, I slept with a girl called [&quot;M&quot;] at a toga party. We had both been drinking but not in anyway drunk. Just a couple beers. The next morning a friend approached me and asked why I slept with her when she has herpes. I had no idea and obviously would not have slept with her had I known. I was annoyed she did not disclose this and feel she had a moral obligation to do so before sleeping with anyone.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>He confronted her after and she said that she does have genital herpes, but it &quot;wasn&#39;t a big deal&quot; and &quot;never flares up.&quot; This is probably true. Herpes however is highly contagious, and she probably should have revealed it to him before they had sex. But given the stigma that surrounds genital herpes, and his reaction to finding out about it afterwards, it&#39;s understandable why she didn&#39;t.</p><p>However, she also called him a &quot;pansy&quot; which lets you know this girl is for sure an a**hole. And so is he, for what he did next.</p><h2>The dude shared her name and STD status anonymously on their university&#39;s Facebook pages&mdash;<em>pages</em>, meaning multiple. He says he did so to protect other people who she might have sex with.</h2><blockquote> <p>When I confronted her she admitted she has genital herpes but said it wasn&rsquo;t a big deal, it never flares up, she hasn&rsquo;t passed it on to anyone etc. I don&rsquo;t really care for these excuses, and when I pushed her for an apology she said I was being a pansy.</p> <p>Following this incident, I took it upon myself to share her herpes status on our university&rsquo;s Facebook pages anonymously. I did this so that other men (or women, if she swings that way) don&rsquo;t get tricked also. Although it&rsquo;s obviously me that did it, she can&rsquo;t prove it, and I haven&rsquo;t gotten in trouble for it.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>The girl has since organized a &quot;campaign&quot; against him for &quot;slut shaming&quot; and &quot;harassment&quot; and many people have taken her side.</h2><blockquote> <p>That said, she has organised a campaign against me for &ldquo;slut shaming&rdquo; and &ldquo;harassment&rdquo; against her for the posts, and successfully convinced a few groups of my guilt. The posts in question were literally bland and vanilla: &ldquo;Beware of X. She has genital herpes and does not disclose this fact to those she sleeps with.&rdquo; Absolutely no mean words or slurs.</p> </blockquote><p>However, the guy still maintains his innocence, because he did not use &quot;mean words or slurs.&quot; Which is confusing since she&#39;s obviously mad about him outing her herpes in such a public way, not about his phrasing.</p><h2>Commenters are somewhat divided, with a few taking his side and others taking hers, but the majority are saying &quot;everyone sucks here.&quot; They both f*cked up.</h2><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/mace2040/" style="font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: -0.02em;">mace2040</a><span style="color: black; font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: -0.02em;"> writes:</span></h2><blockquote> <p>ESH - She should&rsquo;ve told you but you shouldn&rsquo;t have announced it to literally everyone on the university&rsquo;s Facebook page. But also she shouldn&rsquo;t have organized a slut shaming campaign against you, as that was obviously not your intention. Also, as a side note, herpes has a much worse stigma than it deserves.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheTasmainian/">TheTasmainian</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>ESH, In the UK she has legal obligation to disclose her STI status, so she f*cking sucks for not telling you that she has a STI. But you going anonymous and posting on Facebook pages its also pretty shitty. You should just have taken it as a lesson in life and moved on. Outing her to everyone at you uni is a shit thing to do.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Hypothisos/">Hypothisos</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>ESH yes she should have told you but come on. How is this not screaming obvious in your head that disclosing something like that to EVERYONE isn&#39;t ok? She&#39;s not going to sleep with everyone and everyone isn&#39;t going to sleep with her. My god man, that&#39;s sensitive personal info. You are an a**hole because doing something in revenge is an a**hole thing to do. Two wrongs do not make a right.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/steveofftheinternet/">steveofftheinternet</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>ESH, she has a responsibility to disclose to any sexual partners, and you had no right to broadcast it to the world.</p> </blockquote><h2>But others are calling her behavior worse because of the health risk.</h2><p>Like <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NoPatada/">NoPatada</a> who thinks he&#39;s &quot;not the a**hole&quot; in the situation:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA - everyone who might think it sucks is also simultaneously grateful they benefit from knowing. Oh this person has a contagious infection atm, let me avoid for a while. Oh this road has had an accident, let me find another route. Oh this person has a STD, glad I know. Oh this person has an ex that will break into your home of you date them, glad I know. It&#39;s responsibility to disclose this and arguably once she&#39;s passed it to someone else, it&#39;s out of her hands</p> <ul> <li> <p>she has no say on who that person shares this info with.</p> </li> </ul> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><p>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Anew12/">Anew12</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA she has herpes and doesn&rsquo;t disclose this fact to sexual partners put her ass on blast. People in this thread calling you an asshole are insane this is how diseases spread, if it was HIV people would have a different tune.</p> </blockquote><h2>Others think he&#39;s the a**hole in the situation.</h2><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Madbettalady/">Madbettalady</a> explains that herpes can almost never spread unless the person has an outbreak:</p><blockquote> <p>OMG YTA in so many ways. like seriously go learn about herpes. the chances of you getting herpes from her when she&#39;s not having an outbreak is next to 0. something like 30% of the population has herpes that stays asymptomatic and they never have an outbreak. there&#39;s a reason clinics don&#39;t test for herpes with out a request for it. It because we all have it (well, at least 30% do) and most of us never have a single symptom.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/dendrology2007/">endrology2007</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>YTA - B I G T I M E. did you wear a condom? if so, what the actual f*ck is wrong with you? you&rsquo;re at LEAST 96% protected with one and if she wasn&rsquo;t suffering from a flare up then the chance of you getting it is EXTREMELY low.</p> <p>do you think people who suffer from oral herpes (aka cold sores) tell everyone they kiss? have some f*cking perspective.</p> <p>there&rsquo;s such a stigma surrounding herpes, as if it&rsquo;s the end of someone&rsquo;s life if they get it. she was likely to sleep with you once and protected so i can 100% understand why she didn&rsquo;t tell you.</p> <p>the fact you SPREAD it around is appalling, you should be f*cking ashamed of yourself.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/pallidcastle/">pallidcastle</a> thinks he&#39;s the (bigger) a**hole in the situation for harassing her:</p><blockquote> <p>ESH (leaning towards you being the worst) :</p> <p>Her for none disclosure, and going to a toga party.</p> <p>You: For harassment, anonymous none the less, and going to a toga party.</p> </blockquote><p>At least we can all agree on one thing: they&#39;re both a**holes here for going to a toga party. The End.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Guy asks if he was wrong to out girl's STD on Facebook after she didn't disclose it to him.

College is a rough time for most people fortunate enough to attend. You&#39;re young. You&#39;re dumb. You&#39;re drunk all the time. And you&#39;re paying for it all with money you don&#39;t even have. It&#39;s a sh*tshow. If you don&#39;t make mistakes in college, congrats, you are better than everyone else. Either that or you just don&#39;t remember because you were in a blackout.A guy recently took to Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I The A**hole?&quot; forum to share a story in which many mistakes were made, including by the poster himself.After finding out a girl he slept with had herpes and hadn&#39;t told him, he publicly outed her STI on a university Facebook page. Now he&#39;s facing &quot;severe&quot; backlash.The guy thinks he&#39;s in the right here, while most others seem to agree this was an a**hole move. Even though her not telling him she had herpes was also an a**hole move. But as the saying goes, two a**holes do not make a right!In summation: everyone in this story behaved badly. Sounds like college!He begins by revealing that he &quot;doesn&#39;t think he acted a**holish here&quot; which is the first surefire sign that he, in fact, did.He reveals he slept with a girl he met at a toga party, where so many bad decisions are made. He later found out from a mutual friend that she has herpes and had not told him. Honestly don&rsquo;t think I acted assholish here given her actions, but the severe backlash I&rsquo;ve received has me open to the idea that I am. Hence I&rsquo;m posting here. To cut a long story short, I slept with a girl called [&quot;M&quot;] at a toga party. We had both been drinking but not in anyway drunk. Just a couple beers. The next morning a friend approached me and asked why I slept with her when she has herpes. I had no idea and obviously would not have slept with her had I known. I was annoyed she did not disclose this and feel she had a moral obligation to do so before sleeping with anyone. He confronted her after and she said that she does have genital herpes, but it &quot;wasn&#39;t a big deal&quot; and &quot;never flares up.&quot; This is probably true. Herpes however is highly contagious, and she probably should have revealed it to him before they had sex. But given the stigma that surrounds genital herpes, and his reaction to finding out about it afterwards, it&#39;s understandable why she didn&#39;t.However, she also called him a &quot;pansy&quot; which lets you know this girl is for sure an a**hole. And so is he, for what he did next.The dude shared her name and STD status anonymously on their university&#39;s Facebook pages&mdash;pages, meaning multiple. He says he did so to protect other people who she might have sex with. When I confronted her she admitted she has genital herpes but said it wasn&rsquo;t a big deal, it never flares up, she hasn&rsquo;t passed it on to anyone etc. I don&rsquo;t really care for these excuses, and when I pushed her for an apology she said I was being a pansy. Following this incident, I took it upon myself to share her herpes status on our university&rsquo;s Facebook pages anonymously. I did this so that other men (or women, if she swings that way) don&rsquo;t get tricked also. Although it&rsquo;s obviously me that did it, she can&rsquo;t prove it, and I haven&rsquo;t gotten in trouble for it. The girl has since organized a &quot;campaign&quot; against him for &quot;slut shaming&quot; and &quot;harassment&quot; and many people have taken her side. That said, she has organised a campaign against me for &ldquo;slut shaming&rdquo; and &ldquo;harassment&rdquo; against her for the posts, and successfully convinced a few groups of my guilt. The posts in question were literally bland and vanilla: &ldquo;Beware of X. She has genital herpes and does not disclose this fact to those she sleeps with.&rdquo; Absolutely no mean words or slurs. However, the guy still maintains his innocence, because he did not use &quot;mean words or slurs.&quot; Which is confusing since she&#39;s obviously mad about him outing her herpes in such a public way, not about his phrasing.Commenters are somewhat divided, with a few taking his side and others taking hers, but the majority are saying &quot;everyone sucks here.&quot; They both f*cked up.mace2040 writes: ESH - She should&rsquo;ve told you but you shouldn&rsquo;t have announced it to literally everyone on the university&rsquo;s Facebook page. But also she shouldn&rsquo;t have organized a slut shaming campaign against you, as that was obviously not your intention. Also, as a side note, herpes has a much worse stigma than it deserves. TheTasmainian writes: ESH, In the UK she has legal obligation to disclose her STI status, so she f*cking sucks for not telling you that she has a STI. But you going anonymous and posting on Facebook pages its also pretty shitty. You should just have taken it as a lesson in life and moved on. Outing her to everyone at you uni is a shit thing to do.  Hypothisos writes: ESH yes she should have told you but come on. How is this not screaming obvious in your head that disclosing something like that to EVERYONE isn&#39;t ok? She&#39;s not going to sleep with everyone and everyone isn&#39;t going to sleep with her. My god man, that&#39;s sensitive personal info. You are an a**hole because doing something in revenge is an a**hole thing to do. Two wrongs do not make a right. And steveofftheinternet says: ESH, she has a responsibility to disclose to any sexual partners, and you had no right to broadcast it to the world. But others are calling her behavior worse because of the health risk.Like NoPatada who thinks he&#39;s &quot;not the a**hole&quot; in the situation: NTA - everyone who might think it sucks is also simultaneously grateful they benefit from knowing. Oh this person has a contagious infection atm, let me avoid for a while. Oh this road has had an accident, let me find another route. Oh this person has a STD, glad I know. Oh this person has an ex that will break into your home of you date them, glad I know. It&#39;s responsibility to disclose this and arguably once she&#39;s passed it to someone else, it&#39;s out of her hands   she has no say on who that person shares this info with.    And Anew12 says: NTA she has herpes and doesn&rsquo;t disclose this fact to sexual partners put her ass on blast. People in this thread calling you an asshole are insane this is how diseases spread, if it was HIV people would have a different tune. Others think he&#39;s the a**hole in the situation.Madbettalady explains that herpes can almost never spread unless the person has an outbreak: OMG YTA in so many ways. like seriously go learn about herpes. the chances of you getting herpes from her when she&#39;s not having an outbreak is next to 0. something like 30% of the population has herpes that stays asymptomatic and they never have an outbreak. there&#39;s a reason clinics don&#39;t test for herpes with out a request for it. It because we all have it (well, at least 30% do) and most of us never have a single symptom. And endrology2007 writes: YTA - B I G T I M E. did you wear a condom? if so, what the actual f*ck is wrong with you? you&rsquo;re at LEAST 96% protected with one and if she wasn&rsquo;t suffering from a flare up then the chance of you getting it is EXTREMELY low. do you think people who suffer from oral herpes (aka cold sores) tell everyone they kiss? have some f*cking perspective. there&rsquo;s such a stigma surrounding herpes, as if it&rsquo;s the end of someone&rsquo;s life if they get it. she was likely to sleep with you once and protected so i can 100% understand why she didn&rsquo;t tell you. the fact you SPREAD it around is appalling, you should be f*cking ashamed of yourself. And pallidcastle thinks he&#39;s the (bigger) a**hole in the situation for harassing her: ESH (leaning towards you being the worst) : Her for none disclosure, and going to a toga party. You: For harassment, anonymous none the less, and going to a toga party. At least we can all agree on one thing: they&#39;re both a**holes here for going to a toga party. The End.

Guy outs girl on Facebook for having herpes after they slept together and she didn't disclose it.